tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268883243845373514.post2414082011894383233..comments2023-05-15T08:22:07.945-07:00Comments on Jai Duval's Continuing Education: MARRIAGE and the 3D's - Deceit, Desperation and Denialjduvalserieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04006591542746964588noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268883243845373514.post-83540364794381854662011-08-24T10:08:55.698-07:002011-08-24T10:08:55.698-07:00This is so true. I tried to get my ex-wife to have...This is so true. I tried to get my ex-wife to have a simple wedding ceremony so that we would not do like so many others and spend a lot of money unnecessarily. Unfortunately, I gave in to her selfish desires for a big wedding and the marriage did not even last long enough to pay the cost of the wedding. Do you want to guess who got stuck with the bill? Yea, me. Within, 6 months after our divorce she was engaged to someone else.<br /><br />After reading some of your other blogs and listening to your radio interview I stopped hating her and began examining my own behavior that got me to that bad marriage. I should have never gotten married to her to begin with. We had problems before the marriage and I thought that marriage would make her happy and make the problems go away. I was wrong and it was because of the way I was made to think.<br /><br />I believed that the man was supposed to be there to help a woman with her problems. Be there to relieve her of her pains and frustrations. To do whatever it takes and sacrifice whatever is necessary to make her happy. Again, I was wrong and from this point on I am going to start taking some of your advice and do what's best for me and leave those problem women to their problems.<br /><br />I believe that you are doing a good deed informing men and the women who are unselfish and considerate enough to listen. Keep up the good work.Peternoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268883243845373514.post-18630854312054691352010-02-08T09:02:12.807-08:002010-02-08T09:02:12.807-08:00Thank you Linda for taking the time to comment. I...Thank you Linda for taking the time to comment. I consider what I am doing is "lending a hand" as you have stated. The problem is that MOST don't want my hand because it exposes that SELFISH, IRRESPONSIBLE, INAPPROPRIATE or LAZY side of themselves they don't want to see or do anything about.<br /><br />My blogs speak to the REALITY, SCANDALOUSNESS and DYSFUNCTIONALITY of relationships in general and how we relate to each other as opposed to the FANTASY one would like it to be. I don't need to talk about the GOOD because it NATURALLY will take care of itself. If one is doing GOOD, there's no need to be concerned, defensive or stressed. <br /><br />I am not one to sit and hope for things to get better because A CERTAIN PERCENTAGE of people will ALWAYS continue to knowingly make SELFISH choices that will NEGATIVELY impact others as well as eventually impact many of them that make those choices. It is what it is.<br /><br />My platform is (without going into detail):<br /><br />- Reality and not fantasy at someone else's expense,<br />- Playing DISHONEST games with people's lives will EVENTUALLY produce a winner and a loser,<br />- You enjoyed the pleasure so you suffer the pain (if any),<br />- Personal responsibility and accountability,<br />- Blame yourself for your selfish choices that damaged your life,<br />- You broke it so you fix it.<br /><br />If my blogs simply provoke one to THINK as oppose to run away then I have done a good thing because it may just influence a few to make a POSITIVE CHANGE.jduvalserieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04006591542746964588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268883243845373514.post-49552082454775544932010-02-06T13:55:21.037-08:002010-02-06T13:55:21.037-08:00Mrs. Happily married
My hats off to you and other...Mrs. Happily married<br /><br />My hats off to you and others with much praise, who take their wedding vows seriously. Unfortunately, according to statistics 50% of all marriages end in divorce; this suggests trials, but more importantly I think it reflect those 3D's. Often times people get married for the wrong reason--intentional deception to get what they want; denial of their own issues that negatively impacts their abilities to maintain healthy relationships; and yes, out of sheer desperation!! <br /><br />As a marriage and family therapist, my premarital training address these issues becasue I recognize we have some serious problems where covenant relationships are concerned. The program is designed to help individuals/couples with self-discovery and motivation for marriage at that particular point in their life and the particular person chosen.<br /><br />Infidelity happens in and out of the church. Is it the devil trying ones married or is it a lack of self-control, true love, honesty and commitment? The church definitely has some tough issues to face, accept, and to design solutions that it can be an example unto the world; as a pose to constantly going through and being tried. Yes, there are situations in life designed to make us; however, can't two Christians allow tests outside the household to test the strength of their marriage, instead of infidelity, and stand together as a team? <br /><br />So, as cynical as it may sound; there is truth to this post. As Christians, we can't get mad, we need to do something about it. For all the couples with loving, lasting, pure and healthy relationships--lend a hand to your fellow brothers and sisters!<br /><br />Lindalhstreeter@gmail.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268883243845373514.post-69693202339661598302010-02-04T20:32:51.728-08:002010-02-04T20:32:51.728-08:00Mr. Duval I totally disagree with Erika. I think ...Mr. Duval I totally disagree with Erika. I think you are an idiot and not a man of God because God ordained marriage. Who are you to say what the vows are and how most marriages are conducted? All marriages will have problems because people have their own identities and are different. That difference causes problem but make the marriage better as time goes on. Marriages have to be tested and sometimes in the worse manner to see if the love between the two people will be greater than the problems. God places challenges at our feet and some of those challenges are in marriages to test them and make them stronger. If they don't last it's because God has decided that it won't last and not you Mr. Know It All.<br /><br />You are probably one of those many weak men out there that could not satisfy and keep a real woman happy so she left you for a real man and now you are bitter. I feel sorry for you.Mrs. Happily Marriednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268883243845373514.post-59625176182770582292010-02-04T19:56:00.384-08:002010-02-04T19:56:00.384-08:00I have to confess that when I read the first four ...I have to confess that when I read the first four lines I thought you were maybe one of those angry, divorced men that had issues with women and the institution of marriage. Fortunately, for me, I did not stop there and close the page. I decided to read further thinking let me see whatelse this idiot has to say. To my surprise, that which you have stated makes a lot of sense to me.<br /><br />I have a lot of female friends and they do a lot of complaining about their relatioships and marriages. You are so right when you mentioned tricking, trapping or pressuring someone into a relationship because that is exactly what all of them did. They either intentionally got pregnant or threatened to end the relationship if their man did not propose to them.<br /><br />I totally agree with you J. Duval. You sound like a very wise and experienced person. I will definitely read some of your other blogs, add myself as a follower and tell those complaining girlfriends of mine to read this blog. Keep up the good workMs. Erikanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7268883243845373514.post-2130420804182945312010-02-04T11:35:14.365-08:002010-02-04T11:35:14.365-08:00I have to agree with you on the 3D's! well put...I have to agree with you on the 3D's! well put!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com