(Excerpt from "Rules of Engagement")Concern #18: Females talk about how males cheat so much. Do females cheat as well?
I hear females talk about their men cheating all the time and how some of them will catch their man in the act of cheating. Why don’t I hear more about females cheating as well?
Answer:
That is a very good question that most will avoid. The problem with the idea of cheating is that, in most cases, there are never any conditions stated prior to commitment of what cheating is.
The primary reasons for not stating such are:
1) Fear of being rejected by that other person for bringing that discussion up,
2) That the person is aware of the other person’s behavior and is in denial hoping that he or she will change later on in the relationship which most of the time they never do or
3) That person, which is typically the female, will accept the male having other females in order to live a certain lifestyle that she is too lazy to provide for herself or incapable of doing so she accepts him “as is”.
Nowadays female are cheating just as much, if not more than males, and in categories that females don’t consider to be cheating because the weak and insecure male is programmed to just be so happy to have her that he will over-look the obvious.
Sexual relations with someone other than the person you are in a committed relationship with are universally considered to be cheating without either partner stating it in advance. So even if you don’t say that is cheating, it’s universally accepted to be such. Prior to entering into a committed, monogamous (which needs to be stated) relationship there are certain things that the male should state to the female as cheating which many females do on a regular basis that are in marital or non-marital monogamous relationships.
The reason many females will not consider what I am about to state as cheating is because it selfishly benefits them:
- Not informing males that have a personal interest in her that she is in a committed relationship,
- Allowing males to continue to give her attention knowing his interest are personal (females are not stupid, they know when a male has a personal interest in her),
- Allowing males to go to lunch with her and pay for her lunch,
- Allowing males to do things for her without her paying them for their time,
- Allowing males to continuously flirt with her in the workplace,
- Going to social places with her girlfriends and allowing males to buy her drinks, continuously flirt with her or dance and touch her,
- Violating their privacy by discussing their personal affairs or problems with others before attempting to discuss it with him,
- Spending of her money in a manner that will cause a disruption, a financial burden or stress in their relationship
Those are only a few of the known behaviors females allow and consider to be “not cheating”. What he don’t or refuse to realize is that at some point in time those lies the other males are promising her will eventually cause her to expect you to provide that kind of “attention” and “do those things” for her that the male that is trying to get between her thighs are promising to do for her.
Here is my suggestion to you. First of all, no one can control or stop anyone else from doing what they want to do and that includes you as well. You have no control over any female so accept that as a reality of life. You only control what she “allows” you to control. What you do have control over is what you will accept in your relationship. If you believe that the above is also forms of cheating then you should state that, before you enter into a monogamous relationship, stick to it and let her know that you will not remain in that relationship if she behaves in any of the manners above.
