Never Allow Her to Place You in Her Fan Club

There are some males that WERE BORN to be a fan. There are some males that HAVE EVOLVED into a fan. There are some males that ARE NO LONGER a fan. There are some males that WERE NEVER a fan. I am one of those males that ARE NO LONGER a fan. What about you? Remember that a female won't voluntarily ask you to be HER FAN. Males, unfortunately, are socialized to volunteered to become a female's fan based upon that out-dated, socialized mentality of a "Male having to prove his worthiness to a female BEFORE she accepts and caters to him". Nowadays, SHE ACCEPTS him and HE CATERS to her.

The male fan to her is the same as a fan is to an entertainer. He is there ONLY to give her attention, PAY to see her, listen to her when needed, make her feel good about herself and stroke her ego. This FAN GAME is something that females will play time and time again due to the internet and the proliferation of online dating sites. Females are increasing their FAN CLUB base with a host of foolish, insecure, desperate, lonely and low self-esteem males. DON'T HATE ON ME if that is your behavior, simply change your behavior to a manner that will BENEFIT YOU FIRST and NOT HER.

Here is a brief email to a female. If I was insecure, lonely with low self-esteem I would have felt good that this female gave me the opportunity to VOLUNTEER to be ONE of her FANS. Since I am NOT one of those low self-esteem males I decided to do what was best for ME. For some reason, many of those low self-esteem males feel as if they cannot pass up an opportunity once a female ALLOWS him into her space. It's as if he feels it's his LAST and ONLY chance at being with a female so he surrenders his dignity and volunteers to become one of HER FANS.

Let me set the scene for you first. We talked on a Tuesday, had a pleasant conversation and she indicated she wanted to get together for a drink on the weekend. I told her my schedule and asked her to get back to me no later than Thurdsay evening. She agreed to do so. I did not hear from her so I dropped her an email Friday morning requesting she contact me with my phone number in it. No response on Friday so I went into Plan B so that I would enjoy my weekend. No contact by Tuesday of the following week so I left her a voice message on her phone. No response that week. Yea, I know what you are thinking... "She isn't interested any longer and you should know that by her lack of contacting you". I know this but I am doing it to prove a point of how inconsiderate many females can be to polite, considerate and respectful behaving males as well as support my "New Phone Rules" stated in one of my other blogs. Yes, she is crude, rude and inconsiderate for not getting back to me but this is going out to those males that would feel heart-broken or angry because of it. I know better and just sharing information for other males out there.

From: jduval
To: her username removed
Sent: Friday, 30 January 2009, 08:19 PM
Subject: Good Intentions..... No Delivery

Hello ,

I guess I was going to call you back but I am the type of person that deals with reality. I did like your effort, in the beginning, and the fact that you gave me the correct number and even stated that you wanted to call me, in your email, which you only did once and it appeared to be a pleasant conversation. I like what I saw and enjoyed the first conversation but obviously that is all it was to be based solely on your lack of returning my calls.

Fortunately, for me, I am not seeking to volunteer to be a part of your FAN CLUB. That dubious honor is reserved for the low self-esteem, lonely or desperate types of males that are quite plentiful. I am not seeking membership at this point in my life.

There is a test I use to validate a females lack of interest and I want to say, “Congratulations, you passed the test with flying colors”.

I will now discontinue my futile efforts in trying to catch up with you and will leave any further efforts, if any, on your part. Go ahead and do what you feel you must do here and contact me later on when you know that you want to see me, that you will put forth some effort doing so and have the time (desire really) to communicate in a manner that is BENEFICIAL to me as well. I don’t stroke a female’s ego unless I receive IMMEDIATE (not hopeful) benefits. What usually happens is that because there are so many men trying to sell their goods (or dogs chasing), women become overwhelmed by it and feel as if they don't have to listen to my "straight" talk, so I usually will not hear from those types again or they will contact me just to have THE LAST WORD. So now let's see what direction you will pursue.

Obviously you are at one or a few places at this point in time as it pertains to communication WITH ME.

- 1) You ARE very busy and don't have time to communicate, which you should have shown me enough consideration to state such, and just have time to sign on here and read your email, or

- 2) You initially may have had an interest and changed your mind for whatever reason which again you have the right to do which I can respectfully accept but again shown some consideration and let the other person know (it's a form of respect), or

- 3) You initially may have had an interest but a potentially better offer or offers, in your mind, came along. I'm ok with that and understand the "Theory of ROTATION and UPGRADE" and how it affects many females that get lots of attention. If you have too many choices you typically end up not choosing at all and keeping all of them or eventually making a poor choice.

I am quite experienced and skilled when it comes to pursuing a female (i.e., the dog chase GAME). I can become that dog even though most women want us to change that irresponsible, doglike manner afterwards but you can’t have it BOTH WAYS with the same man. ACCEPT THE DOG, the pursuit and the behavior that comes with it or VALUE THE MAN, show him some respect and put forth some genuine effort as well. After all, what else is a man supposed to do if a woman expects him to behave like a dog and pursue her but act like a dog one he catches her?

Male dogs pursue FEMALE DOGS, get what they want and continue with another pursuit. Mature men simply attempt to sensibly communicate and state an interest in getting to know a woman.

I understand that there is more excitement for the FEMALE on the front end of that pursuit "thing" just as, most of the time, there is even more pain on the back end after the dog is gone.

I prefer to NOT participate in the pursuit at this point in time and RESPECTFULLY request the right to BEHAVE LIKE A DOG and PURSUE YOU at some other point in time.

I sincerely wish you much success in your personal and professional endeavors.
I hope that you receive this message in the informative manner that it was intended.

If you develop an interest, get back to me and see where my interests are regarding you.

=====

From: her username removed
Sent: Friday, 30 January 2009, 09:13 PM
Subject: RE: Good Intentions..... No Delivery

wow, how old are you? if you don't mind me asking.

=====

From:
jduval
To: her username removed
Sent: Saturday, 31 January 2009, 08:35 AM
Subject: RE: Good Intentions..... No Delivery

Funny how an email like this will get an immediate response yet simple phone calls and other types of email don't get immediate responses. That in itself tells me a whole lot. I am aware that during the pursuit GAME there is very little sensible and intelligent communication and that you may receive this email in a negative manner. That does not mean I should CHANGE the way I communicate, it simply means that females need to CHANGE the way they expect a man to communicate with them so that it is in a sensible, respectful, informative and intelligent manner.

I don't mind you asking "the age questions” but what I find interesting is why didn't you ask before. Typically, a female will ask that question so that they can use it as justification to issue that Termination Notice. I'm sure you are familiar with it and might have used it before. It's when you respond with, "blah, blah, blah..." in your email or phone call and end it with “I wish you the best and God bless” (we both know how that game goes). Well, I am not stupid enough to assist in writing my own termination notice. You will have to do that on your own (smile).

If there is no genuine interest and trust me when I say I am not here trying to collect a bunch of online acquaintances because I don't call people friends that are local to me that I cannot talk to or see physically. If your intent was to have me as a FAN then let me say, "Thank you for the GRACIOUS OFFER TO ALLOW ME to be in you FAN CLUB but I will have to refuse the offer and I am sure that you will find suitable replacements".

I saw, I liked, I made you aware of my interest in getting to know you and I've tried. That is all that a sensible, mature male that has high self-esteem and dignity should do. I don't care to bounce back and forth with email since you were too busy to communicate with me before through email or phone, why not go ahead and continue whatever it is that kept you so busy before and when (if) you ever have time with genuine intent and not to just have the last word, feel free to get back to me and see if I am still interested, ok?

Instead of saying what most females will say in situations like this which is, "Have a Good Life" (which they really don't mean), I am going to simply say, "Enjoy Your Day"!

Why Don’t the Courts Mandate that the Female Provide the Male with the Lifestyle He was Accustomed to after a Divorce?

(Excerpt from "Rules of Engagement")

Concern #1: Why don’t the courts mandate that the female provide the male with the lifestyle he was accustomed to after a divorce?

Why do you think the courts mandate that many males provide their ex wives or long time cohabit partners a lifestyle that she has been accustomed to, after a termination of their relationship?

Do you think that she should provide him with that lifestyle he had been accustomed to after the termination is final?

Answer:

Most females do provide him that lifestyle he was accustomed to during that relationship and after it is final even if it is not a court mandate.

Most of them provide nothing consistent during that relationship other than stress and spending money while expecting him to pay the bills. That’s the lifestyle that he is accustomed to during the relationship and that is what he is going to get afterwards which is stress and her spending his money the court will mandate that he provide her.

If she is 40 or older she will typically be spending his money on or giving his money to a younger man. The younger man is primarily interested in sex from her and he has no personal interest in her. He knows that she is an easy target and the vast majority of them are now dating younger men and spending their ex’s money on them.

Most of the time males bring that pain upon themselves due to that old traditional way of thinking that ALL females are precious, need to be taken care of, protected and would or could not do him any harm. What he should be doing is requiring that she consistently participate in that relationship physically, emotionally and financially beyond the token and inconsistent deeds he will allow her to choose to do.

If males are going to continue to think in that out-dated and foolish manner then they shouldn’t complain when she, her attorney and the courts emotionally and financially gang rape him when the relationship ends.

Good Men Finish Last and Stupid Men Don't Even Finish

(Excerpt from Rules of Engagement)

Rule #29: Good Men Finish Last and Stupid Men Don't Even Finish

Good men are being beaten down like Piñatas and stripped of their identity, dignity and finances.

The problem today engaging with females is that the good man does nice things and HOPES that the female will give him what he desires in return. Many good men are simply afraid to tell her what it is he is expecting from her although she has absolutely no problem telling him.

That good man attitude will not get you what you want with many females because they enjoy the challenge and aren’t attracted to and have no respect for nice guys. It does not matter if she is single, married, with or without children, younger or older. That is the way they are socialized to think and behave in today’s times so get with the new rules or prepare for many disappointments.

The reason why the other males get many of the females is because they understand the value of these rules.

Response:

This may be difficult for most of you good men out there to digest but you really have to develop gaming skills with the females you desire. Stop catering to females hoping they accept you and simply play the game of telling them what they want to hear to get what you want and do very little of it while you are receiving.

If you don’t get what you want from her then what’s the point in wasting your time? Move on to the next one.

Reason:

Females live for excitement, challenges and fantasy (which equates to lies and temporary behavior) that game offers that the everyday, good man can’t consistently continue to do.

Until a female begins to consistently cater to you and show you her value, she is to be considered a zero and you have very little to give to her. Don’t be stupid and think otherwise because most females think very little of males they don’t feel is of any benefit to them.

All females aren’t alike so you have to get with the game and do like the players and juggle multiple females. This will keep you active instead of just being available for that one that only cares about what she can get from you. If you don’t remain active your skills will diminish and you will get beaten down in that ring.

Only after she has proven her worthiness on a consistent basis should you back off of the game just a bit but don’t totally abandon your game because you have to remember it was your game that attracted her and got you in and only your game will keep you in. If she leaves and your game was on then you should have gotten what you wanted so move on to the next one.

Once you’ve grown tired of playing games and ready for a serious relationship dump the games and dump her because she is part of that game.

How Does a Man or Woman Know if They are Good or Bad in Bed?

This question was requested by a friend of mine to be posted here with my response. I have responded from my male perspective. I am not claiming this to be the opinion of all males but I'm sure that many will agree with me.

For The Male:

This is a case-by-case matter but I will attempt to speak in general terms. The female's level of attractiveness (which depends upon each man's preference and what he is seeking), the amount of attention that she receives and the amount of (or number of) sexual partners will play a major role. If she is moderately to very attractive, receives lots of attention and has sex whenever she wants to then she is ALWAYS comparing one sex partner to the other or will compare YOU to that one sex partner that she has. It may not be a matter of if you are good in bed as opposed to if you are BETTER than the other (or others) that she is having sex with now are have had in the past. I have constantly stated that if most females have options, when it comes to males, they tend to not make a choice because they want it all or they end up making the wrong choice in males. Why? The answer to that question is simple, "Just like a child typically will not make a decision as to which toy they want in the toy store because they are either UNSURE or SELFISH and don't want to leave any of them behind for another child, so is the mentality of many females when it comes to choosing one out of a selection of males".

One way for the man to know if he was good in bed is how she treats him, how patient she is with him, how often she WANTS to see him and/or how often she communicates with him AFTER the sexual experience. Unless a male has wealth and/or the ability to provide her with a lavish and financially comfortable lifestyle, her level of treatment, her level of patience, her desire to see him and her communication with him will diminish slowly or immediately if the sexual performance is not satisfying to her.

For The Female:

You will have to ask a female since I do not engage in sexual activity with another male.

My personal opinion and what I've heard other males say is that many females go through sexual cycles. Cycle 1: In the teen thru late 20 years they are very sexual and experimental. They usually seek males their own age or a maximum of 5 years older. Cycle 2: If she is in her 30's through her early 40's and have had a child or two, sex becomes a tool of manipulation and frustration rather than physical pleasure and enjoyment. They usually seek males at least 10 years older or more for financial support. Cycle 3: From the early 40's into their early 50's they cycle back into that sexual and expermental mode (i.e., Cougars is the latest term used) seeking younger males with more stamina to satisfy their sexual desire. They usually seek males 10 years younger or more.

After a female gets to a certain point in life, if she hasn't prepared herself properly through education, working for an extended period of time to build some sort of retirement or savings (rather than working and manipulating men's finances, having babies or annuities as I call them, partying when they are younger and living irresponsibly & financially foolish) the NEED for companionship and financial support becomes a greater priority than sex so she may do whatever he desires sexually and PRETEND to be sexually satisfied to stroke the male's EGO and hopefully have him provide her that NEEDED or DESIRED companionship or finance. In those cases, sex by her is just a means (not desire) to obtain some form of perceived financial security.