The 3A's - Attractive, Abused and/or Alone

FOR THE RECORD:

- I AM that average joe and I stake NO CLAIMS to the 3H's which are HOT, HANDSOME or HO' so save your comments like, "How hot does he think he is"? or "Does he think he's God's gift"? or "He's nothing but a Ho",

- I AM NOT angry or bitter at very attractive females due to their "lack of desire for" or "lack of attraction to" us average joe's,

- I AM NOT angry and will not use words with the intent of causing pain. INSTEAD, I will use TRUTH and REALITY which cuts even deeper and causes more pain for those in denial,

- DOGS, ABUSERS, THUGS, BAD BOYS, PRETTY BOYS WITH ATTITUDE or whatever else you want to refer to them as are a NECESSARY EVIL and the counter-weight to the AVERAGE JOE. Those HARD types were created to BREAKDOWN and TRANSFORM those egotistical, ungrateful, inconsiderate, entitlement-minded, unreasonable expectation VERY ATTRACTIVE females and PREPARE them for the AVERAGE JOE. MOST average joe's will NEVER have the courage, fortitude or BALLS to do even the slightest things that the hard types will do to those very attractive females. For EVERY average joe that you see with a very attractive female, at least 80 percent of those females have been PAID FOR, USED, ABUSED, DOGGED, BANGED OUT, KNOCKED UP and TOSSED ASIDE at least once.

Over the years I have met and dated what I refer to as COMMERCIALLY very attractive females that have gone through what I call THE TRANSFORMATION. The transformation is one or a series of ABUSIVE physical, emotional and/or financial relationships that SHE CHOSE to be in that has caused her to re-evaluate HER VALUE SYSTEM and PRIORITIES in life. If she is very attractive, single and you hear any of the phrases below, she is NOW going through or has gone through THE TRANSFORMATION and may POSSIBLY be ready for a MUTUALLY loving relationship with THE AVERAGE JOE:

- I want a God-fearing man,

- I want a man that loves the Lord,

- I want a man that attends church regularly,

- I am looking for a mature man (Translation: they intially wanted an entertainer, a clown that immature someone that lives a spontaneous, carefree lifestyle. Now when SHE wants to get serious or have gotten KNOCKED UP by him she can't seem to change that entertainer, clown or immature man into a serious responsible man,

- I don't want a man who focuses on the physical (Translation: they have used their physical attractiveness in their past and it eventually got many of them into an abusive relationship),

- I want a man that will love me and my children (Translation: they don't mention financially supporting her children but you know that's included),

- I don't have time to play games (Translation: she's played games as long as it had benefitted her but the last few games she was a part of was played ON HER and she LOST, now getting older and her marketable value may be diminishing she's now considers herself to be done with games),

These females are referred to as the PHYSICALLY very attractive and they have been accustomed to receiving more attention, MORE ABUSE, more material offers and a better lifestyle upgrade than the average and below average looking female. As a matter of fact, they are accustomed to receiving with little or no effort on their part. The majority of these types of females EXPECT to receive more and experience a better lifestyle than their average female friends or the average female period but, in most cases, would never state so publically. These same female types are conditioned to NOT ACCEPT the average joe for more than:

- someone to help them when needed,
- someone to talk to when they are bored,
- someone to console them when they are emotionally down, or
- someone to kill time with and usually at joe's expense most of the time.

Do I hate or despise these types for thinking that way OR rejecting us average joe's? Absolutely not because they have the RIGHT of CHOICE and their choice should be respected. Are there average joe's that do hate or despise them for rejecting them? Yes there are MANY but that's not my burden or problem.

Usually, the only time those types of females will put out money to pay their way with joe is when they ABSOLUTELY don't want joe to get any ideas about them becoming a couple or have joe expecting to get what he wants in return (which they won't give him anyway). Bear with me because I have to say all of this to make a point later on.

Here is where I may anger many females but what the heck. I am not one to sugar coat reality. There are two categories of very attractive, 1) COMMERCIAL and 2) MENTAL.

1) COMMERCIAL - The ones that standout in a crowd and I am not speaking about because they are taller, larger or have that big ass. I am speaking about the ones that get the CONSISTENT offers of expensive cars, clothes, jewlery, move in to the big homes, take the trips, expensive dining, marriage proposals, do not have to work, live a financially IRRESPONSIBLE lifestyle that's supported by males, etc. These are the ones that usually have that smooth skin, symmetrical facial and body features, proportionate body shape with definition (small waist and no protruding gut) and don't have that big ass. I'm not saying a big ass is negative. I'm saying most of the big asses WON'T be attached to the commercial types because it has no TRUE MARKETABLE VALUE beyond an occasional spanking (not marrying) for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY in the eyes of the more SUCCESSFUL males in this enviornment we live in.

2) MENTAL - The ones that THINK they are very attractive for the purpose of uplifting their own self-esteem and are usually average to below average looking, overweight, thick, fat and will have that big ass and/or breasts that they flaunt to attract males. These types (especially with the big ass and big breasts) are considered to be very attrictive by some average and many HORNY, lesser successful, unemployed and/or no potential males. These mental types will typically get similar offers as the commerical ones but at a significantly lower value and usually by the struggling joe, average joe or the "just above" average joe. Hey there's someone for everyone and that's the beauty of diversity.

Now that I have distinguished between the two types of very attractive we can dump the mental ones and focus on my point about the commercial ones. I have found that many of the commercial females WILL NOT be flexible and value the average joe UNTIL they have been ABUSED physically, emotionally and/or financially by males that:

- don't give a crap about them,
- see them as a trophy to flaunt,
- ballers and males with well-to-do financial means,
- they have ALLOWED to knock them up and have an uncontrollable emotional bond,
- they consider hot, very handsome, pretty and would make great trophies together,
- will provide them the lifestyle (along with knocking them up) they are expecting to receive FOR YEARS.

During this time of receiving, MANY of those female types will consider THEIR physical appearance and HIS financial status to be the glue to acquiring and maintaining that upgrade in lifestyle she expects to receive. RELIGIOUSLY SPEAKING, (what? if you didn't think I was going to go there then you really don't know me) I have found MANY of them have gotten closer to GOD AFTER they have gotten that LIFESTYLE UPGRADE or AFTER the ABUSE is over and they are alone raising their children.

THE UP SIDE TO THESE TYPES:

- There ARE NOT enough WEALTHY males out there to match the number of very attractive females so many of them will have to ABANDON their FANTASY and work with us average joe's, become that BOOTY CALL MISTRESSES or PURCHASE a PET and live with it as their COMPANION for the remainder of their years,
- Some, NOT MANY, will have been transformed AFTER THE ABUSE such that they will truly be able to VALUE the qualities in the average joe,
- Some, NOT MANY, will begin to think how they can CONTRIBUTE to a relationship with more than their EGO and LOOKS,
- Some, NOT MANY, will actually FALL IN LOVE and live happily and peacefully ever after with the average joe.

THE DOWN SIDE TO THESE TYPES:

- These female types CHOOSE to avoid the average joe and go for the brass ring so the risk they take and the rewards or damage they receive is due to THEIR CHOICES and they should GIVE CREDIT TO themselves or BLAME NO ONE ELSE but themselves although they WILL give credit to GOD for hitting the relationship lottery (so they think at that time). Following that logic, I guess GOD created the ABUSERS to TRANSFORM these female types so that they would eventually see VALUE in the average joe,
- After MANY of these females will have been given this lifestyle upgrade, ABUSED during that upgrade and divorced (or simply toss aside as the ex-mistress) they will be TOO DAMAGED for any healthy relationship with the average joe,
- I would consider many of them to be RELATIONSHIP REJECTS waiting to be RECALLED back to that or another material and EVENTUAL ABUSIVE/DYSFUNCTIONAL relationship due to their EMOTIONAL STATE and ATTITUDE and the best that many of them will be is PLAYER FOOD (as a friend of mine once said),
- MANY of them will still not have learned their lesson and will continue to REJECT the average joe OR they will accept joe under THEIR TERMS and WILL NOT cater to joe as they did in their previously abusive relationship(s).

MESSAGE TO THE JOE'S:

- There are UNDAMAGED, attractive (not very attractive) and LOVING females out there. You DON'T have to sacrifice and go out of your way trying to REHAB or FINANCIALLY SUPPORT one of those VERY attractive, DAMAGED females ASSuming she will be yours afterwards,
- USE WISDOM (not emotions) and place just as much emphasis on a female's GENUINE INTEREST and BEHAVIOR TOWARDS YOU as you do on HER PHYSICAL APPEARANCE,
- DON'T ASSume just because she's ALLOWING you into her space that she is genuinely interested in you,
- Approach those types with caution because I know most of you will become weak due to her attractiveness,
- DO NOT put forth any more effort for her than she puts out for you, and
- If you FOOLISHLY proceed without caution, she hooks you emotionally, drains you emotionally & financially and moves on, DON'T BLAME HER, blame YOURSELF.,
- LASTLY, the next time you come in contact with one of those very attractive, single, 40+ females I hope that BEFORE you put forth any effort towards her you will ask yourself, "HAS SHE BEEN TRANSFORMED"?

MESSAGE TO THE VERY ATTRACTIVE FEMALES:

Sadly at least half of you are 1) DATING a man that's in a MARITAL or NON-MARITAL (supposed-to-be) monogamous relationship HOPING you will eventually be his one and only, 2) ALLOWING joe's to spend time with you UNTIL your eventual DOG or ABUSER comes along, 3) WAITING on the sidelines and OVERLOOKING decent men for a PARTICULAR man, 4) In a DEAD-END relationship hoping it goes where YOU want it to go and/or 5) Have been DOGGED and ABUSED so the following will apply. YOU:

- YOU WILL NOT change your expectations
- YOU WILL REMAIN in those types of relations
- YOU WILL wait for or RETURN to a past abuser
- YOU WILL continue to select males that will ABUSE YOU
- YOU WILL USE or ATTEMPT TO USE a joe as your platonic friend
- YOU WILL waste your years away and eventually realize it was not worth it
- YOU WILL NEVER have a mutually loving relationship due to your POOR standards
- YOU WILL NEVER let go of the thought of going back if you do get involved with a joe
- YOU WILL NOT step down or settle (as they say) for a decent joe that will truly love you
- YOU WILL NOT give joe the same consideration, effort and respect you gave your abuser(s)
- YOU WILL sadly remain alone PRETENDING to be happy, SELFISHLY unsatisfied with joe or in an ABUSIVE, MISERABLE relationship (or series of relationships of YOUR choosing) with someone who DOESN'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOU.

CLOSING STATEMENT:

YOU will FOREVER be your own worse enemy because of your ATTITUDE. Since you WILLINGLY choose those types I have to say YOU deserve whatever good or bad that comes out of it.

MARRIAGE and the 3D's - Deceit, Desperation and Denial

I will begin with a question. How STUPID can you be to think that YOUR DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP was going to improve by getting married? Now you go from one STUPID act which was REMAIN in that dysfunctional, non-marital relationship, to the second STUPID act which was GET MARRIED to the third and most ULTIMATE STUPID act which is plan to or actually have a child or children in what is NOW a DYSFUNCTIONAL MARRIAGE thinking that will make the marriage better.

I am going to comment on a subject that many of you WILL NOT like. Why? Because it RUINS the fun and fantasy that exist during the whole engagement process and WEDDING ceremony. It simply exposes the 3D's that I have stated in the subject. This could "possibly" apply to monogamous, non-marital relationships as well but the reason why I chose marriage is because those vows are OPENLY and VAGUELY stated during the ceremony and MOST of the time THEY ARE NOT adhered to. If they weren't stated and simply ASSumed, I would have nothing to say because there is NO VIOLATION where there is NO CLEARLY DETAILED verbal or written agreement. ASSumptions in a relationship DO NOT constitute an agreement and therefore a VIOLATION of that relationship cannot exist.

Here is a MODIFIED example of a traditional vow that would reflect the REALITY of many marriages:

"I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or maybe for worse, definitely for richer but I'm not sure for poorer, in sickness if I can tolerate you and in health, to love and to cherish you as long as I have it my way most of the time or until someone else comes along that I feel is better, to love and cherish you and whomever else I can while making my best attempt to keep it away from you, to lie or give you what you want to keep you happy and shut you up regardless of the stress to me, to be deceitful when I feel it necessary in order to continually support your state of denial; from this day forward until death or divorce do us part".

Am I anti-marriage? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I am anti-3D's when it comes to marriage and believe that NO ONE should enter marriage until they are READY and WILLING to comply and conform to vows they CLEARLY (not vaguely) state. It does not matter if it's an OPEN or MONOGAMOUS marriage which both do exist. What matter the most to me is HONESTY. If not, change those vows to reflect what your BEHAVIOR will actually be thusly ELIMINATING the 3D's or just DON'T GET MARRIED. Will they do that? Hell nah because it's easier to lie, be deceitful or accept lies and deceit rather than accept TRUTH and not have that person they desire.

I also love it when they bring GOD into the ceremony KNOWING DAMN WELL they won't conform to those vows (lol). Oh yea, I forgot about the ole "my flesh is weak" excuse when it comes to outside sexual encounters. I guess that's what RELIGION is all about huh? Lying NOW and simply asking for forgiveness LATER, right? (lol).

I consider wedding ceremonies and wedding vows, FOR MOST, to be for "Entertainment Purposes ONLY" based upon OBSERVED and STATED BEHAVIOR of most marriages as well as the HIGH DIVORCE RATE and therefore "For Entertainment Purposes ONLY" should be stated on the wedding invitations and posted at the wedding location just as they do on those psychic infomercials.

FINAL COMMENT: I've heard some say that "a marriage (referring to their marriage) is hard to maintain". My response to those of you that say that is, "It's not YOUR marriage that is hard to maintain, it's those 3D's that's the foundation of YOUR marriage that makes it hard to maintain because YOU SELFISHLY wanted, tricked, trapped or pressured him/her and now YOU are paying the price".

Should a Male be Considered RUDE If He Stares at a Female's Exposed Cleavage?

We are familiar with Beyonce's song "Put a Ring on It" and most (if not all) females can relate to it. Well here is J. Duval's response to ALL of you females that like to let yo cleavage show, "If You Gonna Show Yo Cleavage Put A Sign On It". That way, hopefully for you, ONLY the males you want to "stare at them", "salivate for them" and "lure in" will do so.

Ok, I will give you that maaaaaybe those puppies get hot from time to time and need some air to breath and cool off. I will ASSume that based upon what I've been told by some females. I believe that IS NOT the primary reason why many females exposes themselves in that manner. It seems as if the TREND nowadays is, "If you got it, flaunt it" which is ok but don't get an attitude if someone YOU don't want looking at YOUR cleavage and breasts do so.

This applies to ALL females, regardless of cleavage/breast SIZE, age, ethnicity, race, color, etc. that exposes themselves in a manner similar to the above photo. Let me say FOR THE RECORD that I see nothing wrong with a female's decision if she chooses to expose herself in that manner.

Is it wrong for her to do that? ABSOLUTELY NOT. It's MY OPINION that it's HER RIGHT, it's HER BODY, it's LEGAL, it's NOT IMMORAL (you can see a lot of it in many CHURCHES on "Any Given Sunday") and it's simply HER CHOICE and should be respected just as it's any male's choice to stare if they choose to do so.

Ladies, if you expose them out in the public like that what do you expect? It's no different than:

- that short dress/skirt you wear to expose your legs and thighs,

- that fitted dress/skirt you wear to expose your small waistline, or

- that fitted dress/skirt/top you wear to expose the protrusion of your breasts or butt AND unfortunately EXPOSING that PROTRUDING GUT, POUCH, LOVE CUSHION or whatever else you choose to call it as well.

Just as females EXPECT MOST males to look at and compliment the clothing they wear, their hair, their manicured hands and feet (but NOT TOUCH UNLESS they find him attractive in their own particular way), NO male should be considered RUDE or OFFENSIVE when he stares at a female's EXPOSED cleavage and breasts AS LONG AS he does not touch her.

I hear females speak of how RUDE it is when MALES stare (or take occasional looks) at their EXPOSED cleavage/breasts when they are talking to them or when they are just passing by them.

Let's keep this HONEST and be MATURE about this. To the majority (not all) of you females out there that show your cleavage, it's only RUDE IF the male that is staring IS NOT attractive based upon YOUR personal preference. Otherwise, IF you do find him attractive, YOU accept it as a compliment or something attractively inviting when he stares because most (if not all) of YOU (that are equipped to do so) are INTENTIONALLY using your cleavage and breasts as BAIT to lure CERTAIN males to recieve the desired ATTENTION to raise your self-esteem and inflate your EGO as well as POTENTIAL short-term and long-term BENEFITS.

What are SOME of those potential benefits?

- FREE trips
- FREE meals,
- FINANCIAL support,
- FREE admission to events,
- FREE or DISCOUNT service for repairs,
- DISCOUNT SALES from male sales people,
- MONOGAMOUS COMMITTED relationship, and
- the ULTIMATE prize, a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL.

I personally believe that MOST females will LIE and state they are NOT doing it for ATTENTION and/or BENEFITS. That's ok because MOST males will ACCEPT that LIE if it gets them what they want.

This is my opinion. Anyone care to comment?