Has She Ever Told You, "One Thing Just Led To Another"?

So the two of you argue AGAIN, huh? She left and later on, usually through a girlfriend of her's that she had an argument with, you find out that she DID NOT go to that girlfriend's apartment when she left you. You approached YOUR GIRL (we will call her that "for now") with the information HER girlfriend told you and she admits (which RARELY HAPPENS) to it and tells you, "One Thing Just Led To Another" and FOOLishly YOU accepted it.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT EXCUSE. There are women out there that DON'T play those games and NOT EMOTIONALLY STUCK ON STUPID for someone else so why WASTE YOUR TIME with someone like that?

That phrase MAY NOT be as easy a pill to swallow for MANY males out there and especially the ones that are desperate to be in a relationship and/or in denial about that relationship that they are in. Well, I am going to give you 2 versions of "One Thing Just Led To Another". Version 1 - What She Told You Happened and Version 2 - What Really Happened.

Version 1 - What She Told You Happened

- SHE decided she was NOT going to continue to argue (this is a good thing)
- SHE decided she was going to temporarily leave the house/apt (this is a good thing)
- SHE decided where she was going to go when she left
- One thing just led to another
- HE PENETRATES HER
- SHE leaves and returns home

** WARNING - PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK** - If you have ANY form of physical, emotional or mental health issues, I will not be held responsible if you proceed and ANY damage to your person or anyone else occurs as a result of your actions. Anyone with a PACEMAKER or a WEAK HEART should consult with a physician before continuing.

Version 2 - What Really Happened

- SHE decided she was NOT going to continue to argue (this is a good thing)
- SHE decided she was going to temporarily leave the house/apt (this is a good thing)
- SHE decided where she was going to go when she left
- SHE calls an ex or some other guy that been trying to "spank dat ass" so she can meet his somewhere and just talk (good men DEFINITELY excluded if one thing led to another)
- SHE meets him at a restaurant, bar, coffee shop, etc and discusses her situation (of course the guy will agree with everything she says)
- HE convinces her (which won't take much) to come to his place for a while so she can relax and compose herself before going back to her place (this part assumes that she did not just go directly to his place)
- SHE may or may not have (or have had) a drink so she simply sits and relaxes while ALL THE TIME he's trying to figure out how he's going to eventually "spank dat ass" before she walks out of his place
- SHE is spiling her guts out to him (maybe even crying) so he moves closer to console her
- SHE ALLOWS him to hold her and caress her
- HE moves in for more intimate contact with little or NO resistance from her
- SHE ALLOWS him to kiss her on the face, forehead, neck, etc again with little or NO resistance
- SHE responds by touching him which gives him the green light to continue with his advances
- HE reaches for the vital organs (breasts, inner thighs) and she puts up a little resistance for the purpose of her conscience
- HE continues and SHE co-signs it by ALLOWING him to continue
- HE is going for the flesh which means slowly removing her clothing with NO resistance (her conscience is clear since she resisted earlier so NOW she is simply a VICTIM of her EMOTIONS)
- Instead of RAW DOGGIN' her on the couch, he is going to show some CLASS (in her mind) by manervering her to his bedroom
- SHE WILLINGLY co-operates and goes to the bedroom with him
- HE proceeds to remove HER clothing WITHOUT RESISTANCE from her (oh yea, she may just help him out of his)
- THEY embrace, fondle each other and begin to kiss
- HE PENETRATES HER
- SHE ALLOWS him to do things to her that she may have not allowed you to do
- SHE DOES things to him that she may NOT have done to you (sorry playa')
- SHE leaves and returns home


REALITY CHECK

SHE had multiple opportunities to say NO and walk away but SHE chose to continue.


CONCLUSION YOU have to decide:

- "Is that relationship worth remaining in"?
- "What are the benefits to YOU, if any, to remain in it"?
- "Will you DEMOTE her to booty call status or remain IN LOVE"?
- "Can YOU trust HERin the future"?
- "Do you REALLY believe Version 1"?
- LASTLY, "IF she is now (or later on gets) pregnant, WILL YOU REQUIRE A DNA TEST"?

I leave you to YOUR DECISION since it's YOU that will have to live with it. If you decide to remain simply SHUT UP, don't bring it up again and BE HAPPY that she deicded to come back to YOU.

MOST Women Will ALWAYS Be A MOTHER First... Don't Hold That Against Them

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DON'T SHOOT the messenger.... Take time to CLEARLY understand the message.

From time to time I troll (not stalk, lol) those social sites and when I come up with what I believe to be an interesting profile I will share with those in my email distribution list or on my blog site. I read the profile and looked at her photos posted. This particular email has a couple of messages which I will now share.

Here is the message that was communicated between the two of us:

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Message History

J Duval:

hello Ms. HerNameRemoved , i read your profile and you state in the "About Me" section that you are "single by choice" but next to "Relationship Status" you indicate "In a Relationship". Which one is it? Have a good day!

! ! ! !MS. HerNameRemoved! ! ! !

get the definition of relationship. I'm in a relationship with my kids...that's who I am connected with and who gets all of my time right now.

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Profile Information

Name: ! ! ! !MS. HerNameRemoved! ! ! !
Gender: Female
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Age: 46
Relationship Status: In a Relationship
Interested In: Friends, Networking
Ethnicity: Black/African, Caucasian/White, Hispanic/Latino
Religion: Christian
Orientation: Straight

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APPLAUSE (for her)

I have to give her applauses and credit that she has decided to DEDICATE her time to HER children (6 boys and 1 step daughter which appears in the photo. They all seem to be no more than 12 years apart with the youngest about 4 and the oldest about 15 years old.). More single or divorced mothers should adopt this policy. Many females, especially at that age, are too busy running around trying to behave like they are younger, single and have no responsibilities. She is HONEST in which she states all of her time is dedicated to her children AND she posts photo of them on her page. I have a lot of respect for her IF she truly is committing all of her FREE time to raising her children and not just saying that until she meets what she believes to be THE ONE.

WARNING (to males)

Based upon the youngest being approx. 4 years old and she being 46 years old, she has around 14 years of committment left and then at 60 she will be AVAILABLE for a relationship. MANY of them will transition that motherly behavior to their GRAND-CHILDREN when there is no man in their life instead of placing that responsibility with her children. Unfortunately, for her, she will repeat that CYCLE and forfeit the opportunity to enjoy HERSELF (with or without a mate) as a woman without the responsibility of raising MORE children. Is this what YOU want to be a part of? Is this how you want to spend YOUR mid-life and senior years? If so, this is the type of woman for YOU. If not, DON'T start something that YOU may regret later.

There is NO need of you spending one second with someone in a position like this IF YOU aren't willing to function by HER (not your) availability. Why? Because she has already stated that ALL OF HER TIME is committed to HER children. Once you find a woman in a situation like this, simply WALK AWAY, DON'T LOOK BACK and DON'T CONTACT HER again. Leave her to HER responsibilities so that they DON'T eventually become YOURS. There may be very little free time and, in most cases, IF you decide to proceed, the majority of YOUR time spent may be with ALL OF THEM and VERY LITTLE PRIVATE TIME for you and her. In addition, your time spend with her will be dependent upon THE CHILDREN and not you. Expect constant interruptions IF the children are NOT at an age where they don't require parental supervision (age will vary) or they are NOT at a point where they DON'T see you as someone COMPETING for their mother's time with them.

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COMMENTS

This is NOT a NEGATIVE CRITICISM of her environment. This is a REALITY of her environment and what you may have to live with IF you are planning on trying to spend time with her. Some males FOOLishly believe that a woman in this situation will not have time to be out there fooling around with other males so it's a good situation for HIM so he proceeds to attempt to get into a relationship with her. He doesn't (or won't) realize that not only does she not have time to be available for other men, she won't have the time he desires to be available for and cater to him as well.

Males have to ACCEPT the FACT that most mother's minds almost NEVER STOP thinking about where or what their child is doing when they are not in her IMMEDIATE presence. So take that and multiply it by the number of children she has and you will see that there is NOT a lot of free time inside of her head to place on thinking about catering to YOU. If you aren't up for an occasional quickie together, which does not mean SEX all the time if that's what you were thinking, I suggest that you stay away. She may just want you to sit and listen to her talk or vent, sit and just hold her or go out for some dining and entertainment and then BACK TO THE CHILDREN and see you later.

Whether you choose to accept her situation and the LIMITED TIME for YOU is one thing but remember that SHE IS A MOTHER and IF she is behaving in the manner described above don't be so SELFISH and hold that against her.

There is a tendency for MARRIED WOMEN to engulf themselves into their grand-children's lives because they are (for whatever reason) BORED , DISSATISFIED WITH, NO LONGER ATTRACTED TO their marriage and their husband so the grand-child(ren) is used as a REPLACEMENT. That REPLACEMENT with the grand-children as opposed to reuniting with THEIR husband will create a void between husband and wife. I won't co-sign using the grand-children as a REPLACEMENT for one's marriage but then I'M NOT MARRIED (I'm single and happy) so I guess I'M NOT QUALIFIED to speak for married couples. It's just MY OPINION but don't blame YOUR husband if he decides to NOT wait until YOU are done raising the grand-children.

As I have stated earlier the best thing that you can do for YOU is RECOGNIZE and ACCEPT THE REALITY of a situation like this, DON'T START SOMETHING with unrealistic expectations of her behaving like a woman without children, WALK AWAY and LET HER DO WHAT SHE'S GOTTA DO AS A MOTHER.

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CONCLUSION

GIVE LOVE A CHANCE (SOMEWHERE ELSE) and stay away from situations like this IF you don't want to deal with the entire package. This is a CHOICE that these types of mothers have made, RESPECT IT and leave them to THEIR RESPONSIBILITY of raising THEIR (not your) children.

THERE ARE WOMEN out there with NO CHILDREN or who's fulfilled THEIR responsibility with THEIR children and the children are GROWN and ON THEIR OWN so if that is what you are seeking why would you want to get into a situation like the above and later on COMPLAIN about she not having enough time for YOU?

Stop Blaming Her for Your FOOLish and Stupid Choices

Yea I'm talking about you "Stupid", "Weak" and "Wanna-Be" Players out there. What?? You thought I was just gonna point the finger at females? If you don't like what I'm about to say, change YOUR behavior just as I say to those skeezing females out there.

It's time to get the record straight which mean MOST females and SOME males will NOT want to agree with. Before I begin let me state for the record, "There are considerate, sensible, caring, responsible, "practicing" independent WOMEN that exist so why waste your life away with an inconsiderate, loud mouth, uncaring, irresponsible, dependent FEMALE"?


Common Example

He is spending time with and putting out money on her ASSuming she will develop a personal interest in HIM. He makes NO verbal attempts to directly express his intentions to her and adopt that insecure "she should know" mentality. She enjoys the time and money spent (of course) on her but has no intention on developing a personal relationship with HIM. That does not mean she does not want a personal relationship. It simply means she does not want a personal relationship with HIM. In her mind, he is and will ALWAYS be her PLATONIC friend and in most cases at HIS expense. Later on she decides to bounce completely or gradually begin to make herself UNavailable for HIM. He finds out later that she is spending time with someone else.

Question

Is it her fault that she did not indicate to him she wasn't personally interested in him?

Answer

No. He should have stated his intentions once he began spending time with her. As I have always stated, "Give them the opportunity to set the bar". The bar being the truth or a lie by their response regarding HER intentions.

Reason

Unless she verbally misled him (i.e., lied to him and told him she wanted a personal relationship with him), he has no one to blame but HIMSELF.


Question

Should she be blamed for him spending his money on her and she eventually moving on to someone else?

Answer

No. All he had to do is observe her behavior and body language towards him. It would be more than obvious if she has a personal interest. From that point, it's his choice to WISELY MOVE ON or FOOLISHLY REMAIN.

Reason

MOST (not all for your knuckleheads out there) females, excluding Skeezers, will give a man an indication of being mutually attracted and interested. Of course, he has to be observant because females aren't taught to NOT verbalize their intent or desire UNLESS he's financially well-to-do, living in the right zip code and hopefully with a nice view, famous or EXACTLY what she desires physically which is typically a "pretty boy with a hard body" and she's gotta make her move BEFORE some other female does (lol).


Question

Is she wrong for not telling him she is NOT attracted to him in that manner?

Answer

Yes. Although she is not obligated to tell him, it's called being CONSIDERATE which many females (not all, again for you knuckleheads) AREN'T when they get the opportunity of having a male spend his money on her.

Reason

DON'T CONTINUE TO BE STUPID. Females know within seconds if they have enough of a PHYSICAL attraction in a male to ALLOW him to spend time with her. Trust me, in their minds, that physical attraction is being bounced around sexually so if there is no physical attraction there will be NO intimate (i.e., light touching, kissing, etc.) contact or sexual thoughts with MOST females. With that said, they also know within seconds if they DON'T have a physical interest in a male. Now they may make some efforts to financially contribute IF she knows (or it appears such) that he is financially well-to-do because she does not want to give the impression of being a gold-digger (in the beginning). In most cases, she will play it smart and wait until she's in a LEGAL position (i.e., married, pregnant w/child or have had child(ren) with him) and so she looks forward to playing her role and getting PAID on the back end (i.e., after marriage and having access to THEIR account or the ultimate prize DIVORCE and CHILD SUPPORT).


So What's My Point?

Far too many males BLAME the female for THEIR dismal condition AFTER making a STUPID choice of surrendering their lives to an UNPROVEN female in the beginning.

Why Do Males Do It?

Because they have been socially conditioned to easily surrender their lives and their SPERM, sorta speak, JUST BECAUSE he's attracted to her (in some form or fashion) and she APPERAS to have an interest in HIM. Many times that APPEAR is more in HIS mind than HERS which I encourage male to verbally communicate and get a verbal response.

What Should Males Do?

APPLY, not just read, some (or all) of the information that I am providing that can assist him in avoiding those inconsiderate skeezing females out there. If after reading my material he discovers that he is in a relationship with a skeezer, DUMP HER immediately or slowly (whichever method that causes HIM the least amount of effort and harm).

Think for HIS benefit FIRST. Don't be so quick to surrender your life, SPERM and possessions to a female.

Require her to show some CONSISTENT worthy behavior that QUALIFIES her as someone you want to share your life and possessions with. Make sure SHE is contributing just as much as YOU.

If she is someone you HAVE to spend money on in order to have a good time she it for what it is which is a "TEMPORARY John/Prostitute Business" relationship without any EMOTIONS or FUTURE until you find yourself a GENUINE, CONTRIBUTING PARTNER to share your life with. Don't be mad at her or call her foul names. Just DON'T fall in love with her. By the way, prostitute is NOT a foul name/label IF her behavior reflects such and I don't mean just sexual behavior. Many females will PROSTITUTE their TIME which means HE bears the expenses for simply spending time with her.