Why Do Males Get Married or Into Monogamous Relationships and are Secretly Involved with other Females?

This makes absolutely no sense to me. Why do males get into those situations and risk possible PHYSICAL harm to himself by his mate or FINANCAL damage by her attorney and the courts when (not if) she decides to leave him. Now if a male has:

- NO AMBITION in life,

- Enough MONEY to just toss away without thought,

- DOES NOT CARE what happens to himself when she finds out,

- MOMMA AT HOME to let him move back into his room (or on the couch),

then by all means he should go right ahead and take that risk.

If a male wants to date more than one female he should NOT live with any of them or they should VERBALLY agree to an open relationship while they are living together. Let me personalize this one, "I have never allowed another female to become intimate or think she can become intimate with me when I am in a committed, monogamous relationship. I have also dated multiple females when I am NOT in a committed, monogamous relationship".

It's very important that the two VERBALIZE they agree to a MONOGAMOUS COMMITTED relationship to each other because just being committed does not mean monogamous as we all know and have seen. Just as important if the two want and OPEN COMMITTED relationship they should agree to that since those types of relationships do exist as well.

Does that mean the other person will comply? Maybe but in most cases probably not. What is important is that YOU did not ASSume a monogamous relationship if that is what you expect. This means that YOU now can judge THEIR BEHAVIOR by what they have said as opposed to what you HOPE they will do. It's better to let them lie to you instead of you lie to yourself about that relationship.

I see no benefit to the male SNEAKING around with someone else if they are going to be in a committed, monogamous relationship. Do I identify it as right or wrong? No, because in MOST cases, neither of them will bring up the conditions of that relationship being OPEN or MONOGAMOUS.

Technically speaking, if monogamy isn't VERBALLY mutually agreed upon between the two then there is NO VIOLATION when they get involved with multiple partners.

If you can't get what you want living with her then why are you still there SNEAKING? I'm not hating on you, I'm just calling it as I see it. Feel free to post a comment for others to read.

How to Identify and Flip the Script on a Skeezer

(excerpt from "How to Identify and Avoid a No Good Skeezer)

"DeAr Hunting Season" (Oct 31st - Feb 14th). If you don't know what DeAr Hunting Season is all about I suggest you go to my blog that describes it in detail. Females will begin to ALLOW you to invite them out on dates and spend YOUR money on them (trust me on this one, ok?). It's up to you to SCREEN THEM PROPERLY. All I can do is provide you with helpful information. You have to decide YOUR fate. Are you going to be their next FOOL?

Chapter 3 - How to Flip the Script on a Skeezer (They can't say no to what they think is going to be a FREE MEAL with no obligations).

The vast majority of women are taking advantage of decent males that have a genuine interest in them. A considerate and unselfish woman should not accept you spending your money feeding or entertaining her IF she has no genuine interest in you. She should be considerate and pay her own way in that case to keep it platonic.

IDEALLY I would say agree to meet her at a park with a few bottles of water IF you had the BALLS to make such a request. Unfortunately, MOST of you have been MENTALLY EMASCULATED and CONDITIONED to FEED HER DRINKS and FOOD and she is CONDITIONED to EAT when you meet so the park request will be quite difficult to achieve UNLESS she has physically seen you and find you to be very desirable. If you HAVE to go that old-fashioned, out-dated and ineffective (for you not her) traditional route where the man invites and pays during the dating process, I suggest that you following my "2 DATE SCREENING RULE".

Date 1 - Coffee Shop: Meet her, not pick her up, at a coffee shop so that you spend more time getting to know her as opposed to spending more money. If you get bad vibes about her during that time you have only spent a few bucks and you are done with her. If the first date goes well look into her eyes and ask if she would like to meet you for breakfast or lunch. If she moves her eyes away from yours, does not smile and/or seem a bit hesitant she is not feeling you so don’t persist and consider this your first and last date with her.

Date 2 - Breakfast or Lunch: Again meet her and don't pick her up. Never meet a woman for dinner or some form of entertainment on the first or second date because of the cost and secondly her attention will be on the entertainment and not you. These kinds of events you reserve for someone that has displayed a GENUINE interest in you. Again, pay for the date (because she expects you to do so) but make sure you keep it to a minimum. Don't think that just because she is there that she is genuinely interested in you. Remember, you are paying and skeezers typically will NEVER REFUSE A FREE MEAL. During that second date you want to get a feel for how her schedule is so include some of that in the conversation as a discovery process (the importance of it will come later). If she says that she is a very busy person then this will be your last date with her. At the end of the second date, get ready to now expose her intentions by following the script below:

You Say - "Hey, I think these have been a couple of pretty good dates. What do you think?". (Say nothing else and wait for her response. If she does not agree then you are done with her. If she does agree, which most will regardless, that's when you pop the BIG question).

You Say - "So when are you going to invite me out on a date?". (This is where the information about how busy her schedule comes into play. If she did not state that she was very busy then she should have no problem inviting you out UNLESS she really doesn't give a crap about you. If she says she isn't sure then you now know she has no genuine interest in you because she stated earlier that she was not that busy of a person.

NOTE: DO NOT be a winer and say, "well, you said earlier that you were not that busy". Just accept it as a small price to pay to identify a skeezer and don't see, talk to or cater to her again. She does not have to know why you no longer want to see her because she is not being genuine with you. This shows you that she is just a skeezer using you.

There are some women accustomed to fine dining and will expect you to bear the expenses if you want to dine with them. If you are a WEAK MALE, I would say avoid these types and leave them to the players and dogs who know how to run the proper game on them as they would on you if you are STUPID enough to think she won't. I would suggest that this tactic be used on any woman that you have a personal interest in if she has NOT PROVEN herself to NOT BE a skeezer:

IF you are FOOLish enough to attempt to IMPRESS a female by taking her to an expensive restaurant, here's a tip on identifying a woman that has no respect for you and is just killing time and/or looking for an opportunity to get you to spend your money on her. How are you going to know that in advance? In most cases, the majority of average males will not know so I suggest that they proceed with caution. A female that values you and has a genuine interest in you will not try to get a free ride off of you. If she is not interested in you, she will know before the date is over; she should pay her own way because she knows you are doing so due to a personal interest in her and not just to spend money. Then again, she would have to be a thoughtful and considerate person which many of them aren’t.

** WARNING ** IF you have LOW SELF-ESTEEM, LONELY and are a WEAK and SUBMISSIVE MALE, do not try this tactic below. Simply open your wallet to whatever she wants, PAY the bill, get that THANK YOU, BIG SMILE (cause her belly is full and she did not have to pay) and a HAND SHAKE or what I call that BOOTY OUT, 3 PATS ON THE BACK, MINIMAL CONTACT hug (LOL) and WALK AWAY accepting yourself for what you are.

The following tactic, IF YOU HAVE BALLS, should be used to determine if a female has a genuine interest in you or is only using you to kill time and get a free meal. This would have to be done at a sit-in restaurant where you pay after the meal is finished. Remember, you won't know her intentions until you get her to a restaurant and ask her the right question.

1. Agree to meet at a restaurant. Do not pick her up and do not mention paying for the date.

2. When you get the menu and are ready to order, "let her order for herself" (this is very important)

3. Let the conversation flow and at some point just prior to the meal being paid for look her directly in her eyes and ask, "Would you like to get together again and if so will you pick up the next tab?". Do not say another word until she gives you an answer and if she asks you to repeat what you said; say exactly the same thing. Don’t change the conversation. If she resists responding to your question, says she doesn’t want to see you again or says that she doesn't believe a woman should pay, simply pay your portion and not hers. You are being used as a sucker (i.e. fool). The restaurant cannot make you pay for her because you did not order for her.

4. After you pay your portion offer to walk her to her car and if she says no just walk away from her and consider yourself fortunate that you weren't another one of her suckers. See it as a victory because you had an opportunity to get out, you had a nice meal, you only paid for yourself and you've learned how to identify and flip the script on a skeezer.

Many will consider this tactic cruel and scandalous but if she has no personal interest in you she should state that in advance. Trust me, they know if they are physically attracted to you and have a personal interest. If she isn't interested in you and will not tell you or will not pay for her portion of the date then she has no respect for you. Any tactic you use on her, before she uses you, is justified. Do not let those weak males out there tell you otherwise.

FINALLY: If you are going to pay for the date you should NEVER allow the woman to tell you where she wants to go. You make that determination because you are the one paying. Don’t be STUPID and a FOOL.

She Has To EARN The Respect Before Being GIVEN The Respect

(Excerpt from Rules of Engagement)

This is one of the most effective moves that skeezers have. Most of them will use that mother-fuya punch if they want to cut through the crap and get you to conform quickly. They will tell you, “I want a man to RESPECT ME and treat me the same way he treats his mother”. CAUTION: She’s trying to punch you in your heart. This tactic works well on a moron or a momma’s boy so put some distance between those punches if that’s you.

Response:

Make sure you (not her) set the requirements so that she can earn that kind of treatment. She is attempting to use your feelings for your mother in order to get you to comply with her inconsiderate request and that is what that request is since she has not earned that kind of treatment.

Reason:

She doesn’t give a crap about you or your mother. She is simply using that as a means of getting you to drop your defenses and allow her in with little or no effort on her part.

Your mother sacrificed herself unselfishly to raise you and provided unconditional love even when you sometimes didn’t deserve it. She probably put her life on hold, in many instances, to make sure that you would be raised to the best of her abilities. Is she doing for you as your mother did?

For you to give ANY female that kind of immediate respect and treatment when she did not earn it would be an INSULT to your mother and what your mother has done for YOU. If you have NO love and respect for your mother and what she sacrificed for you then go right ahead FOOL and give that skeezer all that respect and treatment she immediately expects.

No DECENT female genuinely interested in you, will expect that kind of IMMEDIATE respect and treatment or compare herself to your mother if she doesn’t spend time getting to know your mother and doing for you what your mother did.

If you fall for that one then you deserve the STRESS, pain and suffering you will receive while with her and AFTER she eventually dumps you.

"DeAr" Hunting Season.

DeAr Hunting Season Analysis

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PRE-SEASON: September 6th - October 30th

Set a few traps and get in a little practice. This will keep your skills sharp and prepare you for the upcoming season. It’s important to practice your offense as well as your defense.

The quality of DeAr is not as important as the quantity so get as much practice as you can during pre-season. As you get closer to regular season start selecting DeAr that meets with your desired requirements. Many good men tend to stumble or freeze when they come in contact with a desirable DeAr therefore practice is mandatory.

Beware of Poachers - Check traps on a regular basis because poachers will attempt to steal your DeAr that is caught in one of your emotional traps and is vulnerable.


REGULAR SEASON: October 31st - February 14th

The DeAr will allow you to approach them due to their desire for gifts and attention. Don't be tricked into believing just because she allows you in that she GENUINELY cares for you.

1st Quarter - October 31st - November 30th

The first official day is extremely important and you should be out there if at all possible. Why this day? Because it's Halloween and they tend to GET FREAKY, let their guards down, be open to approach and act out those inhibitions they have been suppressing during the post-season. This is the day, at parties especially, that they feel the rush of the season coming on and you have to take full advantage of it. You should have your game face on and you should be out there hunting. Don’t think about it, just go out and do it!!

2nd Quarter - December 1st - December 24th

By now you should be reaping the rewards of your traps because it's getting close to you know what (ho, ho, ho...). Choose that DeAr wisely because they are looking for gifts and someone to be with due to the seasonal pressure. They may not be interested in you initially and just caught up in all of the seasonal hype so take advantage of it.

Halftime – Christmas

"If Santa don't come to her on Christmas morning, YOU definitely won't cum with her on Christmas evening". Well, at least not with her and I am sure you know what I mean. Do you have any money left? Were you stupid and spent lots of your money on her and received an inequitable exchange in return. She knows that she can't just say thank you with a handshake so to continue to give you a FALSE sense of HOPE she may give you “a shoulder-to-shoulder, BOOTY OUT hug to avoid breast and lower body contact”, “a kiss on the cheek" or a "QUICK, tongue-less kiss on the lips" to keep you around? If so there is NO HOPE for you so cut your losses, simply quit before you lose more and wait until next season.

3rd Quarter - December 26th - January 15th

This is the time to trap that DeAr that ignored you during the first half of the season. They probably missed out on that Christmas companionship, those Christmas gifts and now refuse to wait on the sidelines for HIM (usually a married man or a man already in a relationship) any longer. They will want to make sure that they are not left out on Valentine's Day. Get rid of the DeAr that you trapped during the first half of the season and HAVE NOT MOUNTED that is a liability to you and make room for new prospects.

4th Quarter - January 16th - February 14th

This is your last chance to have a successful season if you haven't already been successful. If you have not trapped any DeAr by now you have to make your traps more desirable (i.e., do as most of them do and use DISHONESTY and/or DECEIT) or lower your DeAr requirements so that you can end the season with at least one capture.

The Holy Day, Super Bowl Sunday is an excellent day to hunt and there is always an abundance of DeAr at the right parties. They tend to group together so you have to show no fear of rejection or weakness in your attempt at breaking one away from the herd.

Sudden Death Overtime (Valentine’s Day)

The final official day, the second most stressful day and the FINAL opportunity of the season. The good man has been ALLOWED, during the season, to spend time with her and more importantly spend money on her and he has now become emotionally attached. He wants to pop the commitment question but knows, “I Love Her and She Loves Me Not”.


POST SEASON: February 15th - September 5th

Termination Notification Time (TNT). This is the DAGGER-IN-THE-BACK (that pierces the heart) time when Skeezers issue termination notices to the good men they suckered during the season. They have received enough attention, money, gifts and a huge self-esteem boost to last them throughout the post season. Notices to their victims are similar to the one below:

“Sweetie, thank you for the gifts, dinners and time we spent together these past few months. You’ve been a nice friend, a gentleman and a God sent blessing. Did I tell you that my ex and I are getting back together (or “Did I tell you I met someone”)? He is very jealous and would not like me spending time with another man. I am sure you will find that special someone. Thanks again for everything. WE wish you the best”.

The sad part about the whole ordeal is that most good men will NEVER change their behavior and will get USED AGAIN during the post-season and regular seasons to come. There will even be cases that the same Skeezer that terminated him will RECALL HIM after she has been dumped just before the season starts again and those same good men (i.e., Suckermen) will be more than willing to go back and cater to those Skeezers again.

Post Season Blues (PSB). This is the time when many good men (Suckermen) will enter that state of loneliness and depression after having been served their termination notice. They will have been stripped of their self-esteem and money.

This is the time to repair and heal any damages caused during the hunt, to relax, bond with other hunters, exchange experiences, share locations and ideas.

After a few months of healing, relaxing and reflecting you need to begin preparation in any manner you see fit (financially, emotionally, physically, etc.) for the next season.

[POST-SEASON RECOMMENDATION]

1.  DO NOT put forth any extra effort on stray DeAr during the post-season.

2.  DO NOT return to any DeAr you DID NOT MOUNT the previous season.

3.  USE MINIMAL EFFORT during the post-season since they are too busy trying to GET BACK with the MALES THAT DUMPED THEM during the season.

4.  MANY DeAr tend to revert to their nasty and inconsiderate attitudes towards good men because they were USED and DUMPED so save the effort, time and expense for the regular season.

[CONCLUSION]

I can only provide information for you to cosider.  In the end, YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE.

So She Has Expectations and Don't Want "No Mo Drama" Huh?

There are DECENT, SENSIBLE females out here but that number is RAPIDLY DIMINISHING. I suggest that ALL males that don't have a decent, sensible female in their lives DUMP that UNDESIRABLE SKEEZER and seek one of the decent ones that are left before it's too late and you are left with nothing but the UNDESIRABLES and SKEEZERS to choose from. You will ALWAYS be able to use the undesirables and skeezers as PAID BOOTY CALLS and PAID SERVANTS if you are strong enough to resist trying to develop any kind of HEALTHY relationship which is impossible with them.

I find it to be quite entertaining when I hear females speak about NOT wanting any drama in their personal, intimate relationship with a male. I also have found it to be EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to get MOST FEMALES to INTELLIGENTLY explain to me what NO MO DRAMA means WITHOUT the emotional rhetoric. Yes, I have had a FEW females give me an intelligent explanation but those are ONLY a few as compared to the majority. Why only a few? It's because the MAJORITY of them DON'T KNOW what a healthy, loving relationships is. Their interpretation of a healthy, loving relationship has ALWAYS revolved around the following and this is ALL that most of them know and want to know. Am I saying this is wrong? No. I am simply saying it is what it is:

- Dependent/Low Self-Esteem: What can he do for me to make me happy and upgrade my lifestyle,

- Solicitor/Wh^re: Give me the money and things that I want and I will provide you the service that you want,

- Suckerman/B^tch: Give me what I want and I give you the opportunity to give me more of what I want later on.

What is just as difficult to get from the majority of females is an INTELLIGENT and DETAILED BEHAVIORAL description of their expectations from that male in a relationship.

The reason why I ask for those expectations is so that RESPONSIBILITY can be assigned as well. Most females have perceived EXPECTATIONS OF HIM (whomever him is) to initiate and maintain those expectations with little or no expectations of HER being responsible for INITIATING or MAINTAINING those expectations.

Example: She wants a relationship yet she will take no action beyond perfume, clothing and a trip to the salon for her hair, face and nails.

What about being pro-active after all of that preparation and INITIATING contact with average looking, DECENT males and not just the PRETTY ones or the ones that have money/status or have the appearance of money/status? After all, the average looking, decent males EXPONENTIALLY out number the "high dollar/high status" males thus increasing her chances of obtaining and maintaining a HEALTHY, PRODUCTIVE, ENJOYABLE and a more likely MONOGAMOUS relationship.

I would say that the majority of males (including myself) are average looking and a small percentage of males are the PRETTY BOYS and a small percentage of males are MUD DUCKS.

I have personally found that MOST of the drama females speak of comes from:

- Being questioned about HER behavior that she does not want to (or can't) explain,

- Arguments between she and the INCOMPATIBLE male SHE CHOSE to be with and she will remain in that drama-filled relationships as opposed to simply leaving, becoming more reasonable and finding a compatible male,

- Not having things go HER way most of the time. The majority of these things USUALLY has to do with unreasonable requests or requests requiring money being spent (by him of course).

My point is that MOST of the DRAMA females claim to not want are SELF-INFLICTED and the amount of drama in those relationships can be drastically or completely eliminated if they would make more sensible choices in males.

MANY females will ALWAYS have dysfunctional drama in their lives because that is THEIR MAKEUP therefore drama is what they are attracted to and is consider NORMAL in their eyes.

CONCLUSION:

The next time you hear a female talk of not wanting drama remember that for most of them it is just talk. To prove that is it (or isn't) just talk, get her to explain specifcially what BEHAVIOR, in her present and/or past, is considered to be drama. Then ask her, "If drama is NOT what you want, tell me exactly the type of behavior you do want"? If she can't explain then the best thing a SENSIBLE male can do is to NOT allow himself to get emotionally attached to that female UNLESS she is willing to listen to you, CHANGE her behavior and behave in the manner described by you that will not only ELIMINATE THAT DRAMA but also benefit both of you.

Feel free to provide your helpful or hateful comments.

Are You Still Paying Her Way? Maybe You Should Give It A Second Thought.

There are MANY decent and responsible females out there that are traveling, paying their own bills and simply want enjoyment and companionship WITHOUT the expectation of YOU PAYING for them to travel with you or helping them pay their bills. You are not being a gentleman for paying, you are being a FOOL. I would DUMP ANY SKEEZING FEMALE that don't think and behave in the manner of those responsible females UNLESS she provides you the type of service that YOU want and NOT the type of service SHE wants to give you.

Many females are travelling and spending money. Who pays for it indirectly? YOU if you are paying for the entertainment expenses when going out because she is SAVING HER MONEY to buy trendy, sexy clothing and take those trips WITHOUT YOU. DO NOT BELIEVE it when she is telling you she is buying those clothes to look sexy for JUST YOU. The TRUTH in the matter is that she is buying those clothes to look sexy for ANY MALE that SHE FINDS ATTRACTIVE that will give her the attention and compensation that she desires.

Do you wonder why many females ARE BROKE or CLAIM TO BE IN A FINANCIAL BIND? It's because they were out there spending money and enjoying themselves WITHOUT YOU and now YOU are going to contribute to HER entertainment or clothing fund which will be NO FUN given back to you.

***FACT*** The more OPPORTUNITY most females have to NOT BE RESPONSIBLE for themselves, the more they will spend LATER on themselves when they are NOT WITH YOU. Why is that so? It is very, very simple. They can do it because of FOOLS that will PAY THEIR WAY or provide them STIMULUS CHECKS/CASH when they need to be rescued from their spending.

In this present economy, MANY males CAN'T afford to help (as they say) females out or wine & dine females (in the manner females prefer) without putting themselves in a FINANCIAL bind yet they continue to put out HOPING for the best while placing themselves financially short and BORROWING from their friends and family members to pay their bills.

How PATHETIC or INSANE can that be? To make things worse, THEY have been convinced BY HER or other LOW SELF-ESTEEM males that they are enjoying themselves and having a good time by simply spending time and MONEY being with her. What is really sad about this is that this blog reflects many of YOU and YOU will continue to do those STUPID things anyway.

Well, if she takes you for what you have AFTER reading this, then YOU DESERVE TO BE TAKEN and then DUMPED for being so STUPID. I find that the majority of these types of males will CRITICIZE ME and my methods FOR ATTEMPTING TO HELP THEM.

Instead of getting ONLY the opportunity to spend your money , why not try GETTING SOME SERVICE OUT OF HER (i.e., maid, cook, etc.) since we both know that she is baiting you with an ILLUSION (of what you won't get) that you are PAYING FOR and HOPING that it will become a REALITY. That way you are at least getting some return for your money spent. Check out some of these expenses. Now tell me these females CAN'T afford to pay their own way when spending time with YOU.

Like this one female told me, "There is a sucker born every day" and my response to her was, "No, there are MANY suckers born every day". The question to you males is, "Are you one of those SUCKERS they are talking about"?

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Package 1: Entire tour without air and airport transfers, $2,397 per person based on double occupancy/for a single add $576 (Roommate Service available).

Package 2: 3 day ground-only Roman Holiday (it will feel like 5 days), $997 per person based on double occupancy/for a single add $165.

Her Quote:

"I started Bella Italia, a travel club that was created to expose Black women to a country filled with rich culture, incredible cuisine, amazing shopping, pulsing nightlife and it seems... a unique appreciations for the beauty of Black women" (smile)!

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If you don't know what "unique appreciations for the beauty of Black women" means let me help you out. Men in that country are AGGRESSIVELY catering to them, spending money on them and raising the bar of HER expectations for many of YOU when she returns. Those guys in italy (as well as other countries) are POON HOUNDS as well and want to satisfy their curiosity about the black woman's SEXUAL ABILITIES so remember, "What will go on in Italy, will remain in Italy". They will simply DO THEIR THING and then CLEAN THAT "THANG" OFF before they return and YOU will be STUPID enough to believe her when she says, "Oh, I just had a good time with the girls and nothing else happened".

Am I saying they are wrong for doing it? NO. As far as I am concerned, they can do that and more since I don't care. What I am saying is that they will LIE TO YOU about doing it and have you eventually assist in paying for the LIE they enjoyed WITHOUT YOU. The vast majority will go on these vacations and have a GREAT TIME and swipe that credit card or spend that cash at every opportunity while on that vacation. Again, is it wrong? NO. It's their RIGHT, their CHOICE, their MONEY and whatever they are doing with it should be RESPECTED.

What I am saying to males is DON'T HELP FINANCE their fun and frolic by PAYING THEIR WAY when spending time with YOU or by helping her with her bills. You have to ask yourself, "Did she ever OFFER to take you (that means the person offering PAYS) on one of those vacation GETAWAYS that YOU have INDIRECTLY paid for"?

So think about those vacation getaways women are taking BEFORE you are so quick to be a sucker (oops, I mean gentleman) and reach for the tab to pay the expenses OR break her off some chips to help her with her bills UNLESS she will SERVICE YOU since you WILL NOT be going on those vacations with her UNLESS YOU PAY FOR BOTH OF YOU. Make sure you get whatever the service is BEFORE you pay her because if she is a SKEEZER in disguise YOU will PUT OUT and SHE will then GET OUT before servicing you.

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FINAL COMMENTS

I know that the above reflects the situation of many of you males reading this blog. I am HOPING that sooner or later this information will sink in and you will come out of that SOS (State-Of-Stupidity), DUMP HER, start thinking more of YOUR well being and get yourself one of those women I spoke of at the beginning of this blog.

TRUST ME when I say after it's all said and done, YOU are broke and SHE is gone her words will be, "Well, I didn't tell him to spend his money, HE OFFERED TO PAY". Don't offer and see how long she remains with you.

MALE/FEMALE RELATIONSHIP QUESTION: Can We All Just Get Along?

ANSWER:
Yes

QUESTION:
Will We ALL Just Get Along?

ANSWER:
No.

QUESTION:
Will MOST Of Us Just Get Along?

ANSWER:
No.

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EXPLANATION:

One of the primary reasons why we WON'T get along in that male/female relationship dynamic is because the very foundation (what occurs upon the first few contacts and is sustained throughout the remainder of the relationship) is dysfunctional and based upon LIES, FANTASY, DECEIT, MATERIALISM, IMMATURITY , IRRESPONSIBILITY and DENIAL.

LIES - Tell that person what they want to hear as opposed to telling them the truth.

FANTASY - Living in that mental or physical state of heightened excitement and pleasure that realistically cannot be consistently maintained if one is to obtain and sustain a mutually satisfying, peaceful, minimally stressful and productive relationship.

DECEIT - Silence regarding their ultimate objective (i.e., hidden agenda) with the other person and functioning in a TEMPORARY manner in order to obtain that unstated objective.

MATERIALISM - Non-genuine interest in the individual but rather what it is that they have that can benefit them and upgrade their lifestyle.

IMMATURITY - Behaving child-like and refusing to function in a mature manner.

IRRESPONSIBILITY - Refusal to be accountable for one's own actions and showing lack of care for consequences.

DENIAL - Knowingly refusing to accept truth thus preventing ANY opportunity for change.

Most pre-relationship development NEVER includes the following due to fear of rejection or knowing ahead of time the person won't behave in that manner:

1. There is usually NO CLEAR DISCUSSION and MUTUAL AGREEMENT as to what behavior WILL BE expected. Of course stating every behavior may not be possible at the time but the basic ones surely can be discussed. Most Common Reason: Fear of rejection.

2. There is usually NO CLEAR DISCUSSION and MUTUAL AGREEMENT as to what behavior WILL ABSOLUTELY NOT be tolerated AND if it happens the relationship will be immediately terminated. Most Common Reason: There are some things in a relationship that can happen that will cause disruption simply because no two people think EXACTLY alike but there are certain behaviors that we all know that we WILL NOT tolerate in a relationship or we at least BOAST to our friends and family we won't tolerate whether we tolerate them in the privacy of that relationship or not. This is where FANTASY, HOPE and DENIAL come into being. We have FANTASIES (which are typically temporary in nature) about how we want our "permanent" relationship to be. We HOPE that the fantasy comes true and is sustained throughout the relationship. We go into DENIAL once the fantasy relationship cease to exist.

3. If there is a discussion (which 98 percent of the time there isn't), there is usually NO TERMINATION of that relationship even if the agreement is violated. Most Common Reason: Fear of the unknown and desperation to have a relationship regardless of the condition of the relationship. Now you have frustration and stress in the relationship that usually leads to occasional domestic abuse and/or cheating. The frustration usually comes from the female since she is not receiving what she wants based upon that fantasy and stress is usually what the male receives based on her attitude developed due to his initial participation in that fantasy (that no longer exists) to gain her acceptance.

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QUESTION:

Will this dysfunctional "Can't Get Along" situation change?

ANSWER:

Only for a very, very, very small percentage of people. The majority will continue to function in that dysfunctional manner.

QUESTION:

Why do you think in such a negative manner?

ANSWER:

It's not that I think in such a negative manner. It's simply that most have been socialized to accept what is regardless of the negative impact and simply remain SILENT. All I am doing is simply speaking about the REALITIES that I experience, observe and hear others talk about in private as opposed to publically.

QUESTION:

Why don't you focus on and speak more about the positive things and people as opposed to the negative.

ANSWER:

There are more that enough people producing and talking about those "pie-in-the-sky", feel good desires, hopes and dreams and as you can see, things (overall) are getting worse not better. It's the NEGATIVE things that produces dysfunction, pain and suffering not the positive things. We don't have to be aware of or change the positive things or people in our lives to be content. That will take care of itself. It's the NEGATIVE things that create problems so that is what I focus on so they can be IDENTIFIED, CHANGED or AVOIDED by others.

QUESTION:

What can one do to help others improve THEIR situation?

ANSWER:

1. Start with SELF and be that FUNCTIONING EXAMPLE. Can you HONESTLY say that YOU don't represent at least one or more of the dysfunctional behaviors stated above? By the way, the lies that are told does not mean that they are told only to others. Why not begin to change by STOP LYING TO SELF.

2. Stop AVOIDING the dysfunctional, negative behavior and acting as if it will just go away (i.e., denial). You have to speak about it and confront it or it will ALWAYS exist.

3. DYSFUNCTIONAL PEOPLE ARE COMFORTABLE with dysfunctional relationships and they won't change. This can't be expressed enough, YOU CAN'T CHANGE THOSE TYPES OF PEOPLE so accept them for who they are and maintain your distance if you don't approve of it.

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FINAL COMMENT:

I won't judge dysfunctional behavior to be right or wrong. That is a personal decision that each individual has to make depending on their situation. I simply see things for what they are and speak about them.

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