Marriage, Marriage Vows and Marriage Behavior

This blog IS NOT a reflection of ALL marriages but many of you out there CERTAINLY know this reflects YOUR MARRIAGE or what your situation may be even BEFORE you get married. This is not directed at anyone in particular. It's aimed at a behavior that should be seriously examined in order to improve the chances of having successful and mutually productive marriages and drastically reduce the high number of domestic violence and divorce cases. A vast MAJORITY of marriages today are performed out of PRESSURE (to get married and usually it's the female that gives the ultimatum "marry me or it's over"), FINANCIAL (lifestyle upgrade) or STUPIDITY (I'm gonna marry you before someone else marries you).

Let me open by saying, "Marriages ARE NOT difficult for MATURE people who have waited and properly prepared themselves regardless of what people say" or "NOT difficult for MATURE people who realize the other person is not behaving in a manner that's conducive to the positive growth of a marriage and decides to leave as opposed to trying to make that square peg fit into that round hole". It's LIVING IN DENIAL about YOUR CHOICE in a mate and trying to MAKE it work with someone that DON'T RESPECT YOU or DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU or DON'T BEHAVE IN A MANNER THAT PLEASES YOU that is difficult". Now that I've probably pissed a few of you off let's get started so I can piss off more of you (lol).

I've decided to ADDRESS A BEHAVIOR that the majority of people choose to avoid talking about. MARRIAGE can be a wonderful, fulfilling and productive relationship provided ALL parties involved are matured and mentally prepared to accept and participate in its responsibilities. This is NOT condemning marriage regardless of how frustrating it is for some or how temporary it lasts for many because the institution of marriage is not going away. I want to address the VAGUE vows and HYPOCRITICAL behavior during that period that exist in MANY (not all) marriages.

I am going to PURPOSELY attempt to open those EMOTIONAL ARTERIES and allow the reality of many marriages to BLEED UNCONTROLLABLY. Why am I doing this you ask? Well, I love to perform relationship ENEMAS whenever possible by injecting REALITY into them, based upon those vows, in an attempt to EXPOSE and REMOVE the denial, pain, confusion, anger, violence, nonsense, lack of love and hate that exists in many relationships. I simply decided to shine the light on the reality of many marriage relationships. After you read this blog, it should leave you with one of six options:

1. Continue that relationship living in denial about the hypocrisy of it,

2. Continue that relationship mutually agreeing to accept the hypocrisy of it,

3. Continue that relationship re-establishing clear codes of conduct for each individual,

4. Dissolve that relationship and get into a similar type relationship with another individual,

5. Dissolve that relationship and get into a similar type relationship with multiple individuals,

6. Dissolve that relationship and establish clear codes of conduct before getting into another relationship.

On several occasions I have provided definitions of certain terms prior to getting into a discussion. In my opinion definitions produces what I call the 3Es which is 1) Establishes Clarity, 2) Eliminates Confusion and 3) Exposes Corruption. With that said, let me start with the definitions:

1. Marriage - The legal union of two individuals usually entailing legal obligations of each person to the other.

2. Marriage Vows - Promises each partner make to each other during a wedding ceremony.

3. Marriage Behavior - The manner in which an individual or individuals function or operates during a marriage.

4. Relationship Enema - The process of injecting reality into the relationship in an attempt to expose the hypocrisy or denial and providing one or both individuals an opportunity to cleanse the relationship by eliminating the hypocrisy or denial that exists or accept it for what it is and not blame the other for its consequences.

5. Hypocrisy - The practice of professing beliefs, feelings or virtues that is not reflected in one's behavior.

6. Denial - The refusal to believe or accept something that obviously exists.

Here are my questions for YOU to ponder (if you wish) regarding marriage:

1. Who determined what the behavior of marriage is supposed to be?

2. Examine for yourself exactly what those behaviors are and see if YOU will comply with them.

3. Is that described behavior clearly outlined or vaguely described as a means of providing escape clauses to justify one's non-intended, non-compliant behavior?

4. Why are the vast majority of marriage vows so vague and left for interpretation by each individual?

5. Why isn't marriage vows more specific and clearly outlined since they are broadcasting them to GOD and those attending the ceremony?

6. Why isn't divorce stated in the public marriage vows as consequences for NOT adhering to these vows made before family, friends and GOD. Let me repeat, "Before GOD". (i.e., Minister will typically state, "We are here today – before God – because marriage is one of His most sacred wishes..."). So do you have a personal relationship with GOD? Does that include intentional lying and simply asking for forgiveness later? Is that how YOUR religion works?

5. Why are marriage vows stated if they are not going to be adhered to? (i.e., Will you love him/her, comfort him/her, honor and keep him/her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon him/her your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him/her as long as you both shall live?) . If you truly mean for ALL worse conditions then you need to remain in that marriage regardless. If you don't intend to remain in a marriage for SPECIFIC worse conditions then I suggest you don't say for worse UNLESS you clarify what those for worse conditions are that ARE NOT acceptable that you will announce to GOD and the witnesses at the ceremony WILL result in a DIVORCE.

6. Why do some people get married knowing he/she won't function in the best interest of that marriage?

MY PERSONAL OPINION

Marriage for many is simply a means-to-an-end and has NOTHING to do with honesty, integrity and/or MONOGAMY. That means-to-an-end depends on the intent of the individual or individuals. Some of those means are (but not limited to):

1. Financial security from someone else or the intent of such,

2. Desire to leave home due to pressures of imposed responsibility,

3. Lifestyle upgrade due to their own inability to produce it for themselves,

4. Desire to have someone at home while they seek other sexual partners outside of the home,

5. Social, family or religious pressure due to irresponsible sexual behavior that produced pregnancy,

6. Social, family or religious programming that requires YOU to get married and reproduce to help replenish the earth,

7. Psychological belief that you have to marry and have children in order to have them care for you when you get elderly (NOTE: Take a close look at the elderly (and especially at these care facilities) and you will see the many of them don't have children that truly care for them or communicate with them on a regular basis. It's sad but it's the truth).

At least one (if not both) individuals in MANY marriages KNOWS that the other is not complying or going to comply with those VAGUELY STATED marriage vows but they PLAY THE WEDDING GAME and go through the process anyway. The vagueness of the wedding vows assist in perpetuating the childhood FANTASY of that wonderful wedding ceremony for the female because no one wants to RUIN that fantasy for her with clear and specific vows that PUBLICLY obligates both of them.

Am I knocking marriage? Absolutely not. I am simply exposing the HYPOCRISY of marriage BEHAVIOR based upon the traditional and VAGUE vows stated, the OBVIOUS DENIAL about that behavior and the ever increasing number of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and DIVORCES that are occurring as a result of that behavior. Will my exposing of this cause most people to change? Of course not. Will the number of domestic violence cases and divorces remain the majority? I think so and I believe the domestic violence will get worse AS LONG AS there are pressures to marry too early, as long as those VAGUE marriage vows continue to be allowed and the HYPOCRITICAL behavior exists after those vows have been stated.

I am simply stating, as I indicated in the beginning, an observation that MOST choose to avoid talking openly and honestly about.

UNPOPULAR (ODD) BEHAVIOR

Get an education, become employed, develop individual responsibilities, live by yourself for a while, align yourself with other responsible people, RESPONSIBLE sexual behavior, accepting the negative consequences of your choices and blame no one else, enjoy the pleasures of dating different people and NOT becoming a sperm donor or incubator, open and direct communication, develop some sort of career, if looking for monogamous relationship date exclusively AFTER you've dated different people then decide IF you want to pursue marriage and family.

POPULAR (COMMON) BEHAVIOR

The majority behavioral standards of (pick a few): Immaturity, unreasonable expectations, entitlement (what's yours is mine if you want me) attitude, mind games, stress, align yourself with other irresponsible people, IRRESPONSIBLE sexual behavior, blaming the negative consequences of your choices on someone else, planned (scandalous) pregnancy, UNWANTED child births, evading child support, never leaving home, living off others, financial irresponsibility, domestic violence and a few deaths due to it. This is probably easier for most people to accept than to accept that ODD behavior above.

MY CONCLUSION

MARRIAGE VOWS need to be re-evaluated, re-written and stated in the ceremony based upon what one WILL DO and not stated based upon what one HOPE they or the other individual will do. If one or both cannot conform to those old traditional, VAGUE and ASSumed vows then here are 3 options:

1. DON’T get married.

2. Each one state their vows based upon what they WILL do and DO IT on a consistent basis.

3. Change your vows to be short and to the point so no one will be lying to God or the witnesses, “(Man) I take thee to be my wife”, “(Woman) I take thee to be my husband”, “(Clergy) By the power invested in me I now pronounce you Husband and Wife”.

Based upon option 3, there is NO cheating or violating the marriage because there are NO clear standards of behavior that was stated for that marriage. These are the vows that should be stated based upon the behavior oF MOST marriages today.

NEVER marry someone to make THEM happy. If they don't come to you already happy then they WILL burden you with their sadness, laziness and lack of initiative to make themselves happy. If you FOOLISHLY do so, you will eventually find out that you will NEVER be TRULY at that happy state that you were before the marriage until AFTER the divorce.

MARRIAGE should not be treated like a toy that you purchase, play with and then toss in the closet once you become bored with it and search for another toy (marriage) to play with. That is the mentality of a child (with a toy) and immature adult (with a marriage). You SHOULD NOT enter a marriage situation if YOU are not already happy and content with YOU. Marriage DOES NOT guarantee anyone happiness. Marriage gives you an opportunity to enhance the happiness and contentment that you should already have before you enter into a marriage.

NO ONE CAN force you to marry, force you to agree to those vague vows or force you to behave in a manner not consistent with your vows. ALL OF THOSE ACTIONS ARE WILLINGLY PERFORMED BY YOU for your own personal reasons regardless of the excuses you may give others for doing so.

If you don't like or are having problems with the relationship you are in then FIX IT or GET OUT OF IT before you make another BAD relationship decision by getting married. Getting married DOES NOT fix pre-marital problems. It simply prepares a foundation for eventual DIVORCE. If you have problems prior to marriage and FOOLISHLY choose to proceed into a marriage then SHUT UP and accept the difficulties as they come. Just be patient because I promise you they will definitely come. It's just that simple.

My Momma Didn't Raise No Fools

Ever hear someone say, "My Momma Didn't Raise No Fools". Well, hold on because if YOU have ever said or thought that, this may apply to you, your children or somone you know so CHECK YOURSELF before going public with a statement like that. I believe, "If you refuse to RESPONSIBLY plan and guide your child's life or your momma did not RESPONSIBLY plan and guide your life then they (or you) just may have raised A FOOL".

Society, in general, has deemed it a requirement for males to be responsible and accountable in all areas of their lives whether males comply with that requirement or not. Society, in general, has deemed it an option for females to be responsible and accountable in areas of their choosing as well as given an option to pass certain responsibilities and accountabilities on to the male if she chooses do so. Sadly enough many males have also contributed to this irresponsible and unaccountable behavior by many (not all) females.

How about we stop using society as the excuse for being responsible and blame the sperm donor and incubator for being IRRESPONSIBLE and NEGLECTFUL?

RAISING CHILDREN (Many Parents Will Not Like This)

Many (not all) parents fail to IMPOSE responsibility on their children as it applies to personal and co-operative responsibilities in the household. This is one of the MAJOR reasons why there are so many irresponsible and inconsiderated adults today. I chose the word impose because it's a word that conveys responsibility being a REQUIREMENT and not an OPTION. There are 6 areas that should be a REQUIREMENT on children as they are developing in the home: 1) Education, 2) Self-Discipline, 3) Financial Management, 4) Household Duties, 5) Respecting Others and 6) Accountability.

**Important** - Self-Discipline, as applied to the parents, INCLUDE not having more children than you can afford to spend money on to support AND spend time with to develop. This applies to a one and/or two parent home. IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD EM, DON'T HAVE EM. Get yourself a pet or a talking baby doll and save everyone else the trouble of having to support and/or raise YOUR child(ren).

ADULTHOOD

Failure to apply the above requirements to children will, in most cases, produce irresponsible and inconsiderate male and female adults with no expectations of accountability for their irresponsible and inconsiderate actions. Life to them is simply DO MY THING NOW and let someone else deal with the consequences later.

These actions DO NOT reflect neglect on ALL parents who's children end up this way. There are many parents that "don't know about" or "don't know how to apply" those above requirements because THEIR parents did not do or did not know so the cycle continues to repeat itself as they pro-create. That does not excuse ALL parents because there are some SPERM DONERS (males) or INCUBATERS (females) that truly DON'T GIVE A SHYT about anything or anyone else and nothing can be done about those types EXCEPT PRAY that they don't pro-create or keep pro-creation to an absolute minimum. There will also be a percentage of parents who WILL provide responsible direction and the child(ren) will still end up irresponsible and inconsiderate. I typically will place their situations in the SHIT HAPPENS file.

ADULT INTERACTIONS

There are 3 levels of interaction: 1) Personal, 2) Professional and 3) Social levels. All of these levels are considered relationships and are very important in our overall development with other male and female individuals. The majority of most adults INABILITY to fairly and sensibly interact with each other at those levels will typically be due to the NEGLECT or POOR PARENTING they received as a child.

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Here is where I go out on a limb, "There are very few BAD monogamous marital and non-marital personal relationships". I know what your response to that one is, "Bullshit, you needed to spend time with me in my last relationship before you made that stupid statement". Well, if you had not been so emotional and interrupted me you would have respectfully allowed me to complete my other sentence which I will do now (thank you). "There a many BAD choices that we make for those relationships".

I personally believe that UNTIL one gets to the point where there is NO physical stimulation or sexual desires that maturity, multiple dating experiences and physical attraction should be the 3 primary requirements in selecting a mate for a monogamous relationship.

This paragraph, which is one of many examples, describes FOOLISH behavior as a result of the neglect or poor parenting guidance as a male and female child. UNFORTUNATELY, due to the behavior of many low self-esteem, desperate, lonely and foolish males, we have to include a 4th requirement for most (not all) females which is financial wealth to upgrade HER lifestyle. In many cases, for many females, financial wealth can be a replacement for physical attraction since the true attraction is to HER lifestyle upgrade and not HIS physical appearance so she will SETTLE for the average, wealthy male until she can upgrade to an attractive, wealthy male or an attractive male with a HUGE personality and knows how to use it to make her submit to him. The female will sometimes attempt to keep the "CASH COW" and the "STUD" to fulfill her fantasy of having that COMPLETE relationship.

CONCLUSION

If you are seeking a monogamous relationship SPEND MAXIMUM TIME WITH and MINIMAL FINANCES ON that person while getting to know him/her. Impress them by simply being your day-to-day self. THERE ARE still SENSIBLE people out there so take your time and choose wisely or YOU may end up with some momma's FOOL.

If you are seeking a booty call then WISELY SPEND MINIMAL TIME WITH and MAXIMUM "AFFORDABLE" FINANCES ON that person, PROTECT YOURSELF as you hit it and move on until the next time.

If you CHOOSE to IGNORE all that is written above, then just maybe YO MOMMA DID RAISE A FOOL.

If You "INVITE" Me You Pay, If You "INFORM" Me I Pay

I sometimes like to begin with definitions in an attempt to minimize or eliminate immature mind games, confusion and/or ASSumptions thus improving the chances of having a mature, intelligent and common sense discussion. If we are going to use words or expressions, let's be clear in the beginning, as to what it means.

Definition of Invite: A request (spoken or written) to be present or take part in something (Ex: "Hey, I am inviting you to come with me and see my friend perform tonight at the concert").

Definition of Inform: To give or provide (spoken or written) information to be present or take part in something (Ex: "Hey, I am letting you know that I am going to see my friend perform tonight at the concert").

I'm sure we are all familiar with the phrase, "Whoever Invite Should Pay", right? Well, my question is, "Should that be ONLY reserved for dating"? By the way, dating nowadays applies to opposite and same sex individuals.

Here's a broader question. Should whoever invite for anything pay? My reason for broadening the question is due to the numerous INVITES I receive to attend some sort of gathering or event. I would like to propose that IF YOU are going to INVITE someone as opposed to INFORM someone of a gathering or event then there should be NO COST REQUIRED to the invitee.

Here are a few examples:

- There is a sporting event (Basketball, Football, etc.) occurring and someone extends an INVITE to come out and enjoy at a place of business,

- Someone is having a personal event (anniversary celebration, birthday party, wedding afterparty, DIVORCE party) and extends an INVITE to come out and celebrate at a place of business,

- Someone is promoting a social event and extends an INVITE to come out and enjoy at a place of business.

Invite, Invite, Invite and did I mention that somewhere in that INVITE there is going to be an admission charge that YOU have to pay? Why shouldn't "Whoever Invite Pay" apply in this instance? Don't give me that, "It's different than dating" lame excuse because in most cases it's the same for most people. I've even heard of instances where the person that extended the invite was a no show so what's up with that? Should they be required to provide a refund IF you pay and enter the event based upon THEIR invite and they don't show?

My issue is not the cost because I believe in personal, financial responsibility unlike many others so I will pay if I want to attend an event IF that's a requirement. My issue is the INVITE and the ASSumption that "Whoever Invites Pays" (whether they show up or not) which IS NOT the case in these kind of social event situations.

I guess I've just gotten to the point of "Put Your Money Where Your Invite Is" or "Stop Communicating That You Are Inviting Someone and Just Inform Them". In my opinion, people usually do that because they are accustomed to behaving in that manner in their past and/or just don't know any better. Can people change their way of thinking? Sure they can. Will they? That is yet to be seen but I believe that most of them won't.

Hopefully this blog will encourage those that have misused or confused the intent of the words INVITE and INFORM to clarify and properly apply them when communicating to others. Am I going to hold my breath and wait for the CHANGE to occur with others? Of course not. I enjoy living too much to hold my breath and die for someone's refusal to apply common sense (lol).

As always, your comments are welcomed.

ELIMINATE THAT WASTE - A Cleansing Is Good For The Mind, Body and Spirit

I perform this twice a year and it's made a HUGE difference in my life. WE are all human and therefore subject to making poor choices in people and activities throughout our lifetime. I'm sure that we all would like to not make those poor choices in our lives but realistically we do. The key is REFUSING to ELIMINATE those poor choices after we recognize them or NOT REPEATING those same poor choices again.

I started doing this years ago at the beginning of December of each year such that I remove the NEGATIVE people and activities out of my life. Once I started I realized that I needed to also perform an END OF SUMMER CLEARANCE for all the waste I accumulated during the first part of the year and through the summer so now I do this twice a year. You'd be surprised just how much time and expenses you will NO LONGER WASTE and have for yourself to do more productive things or SIMPLY LET YOUR BODY and MIND rest and regenerate. If you don't try it, then continue to OVERDOSE on energy pills and STRESS.

FAMILY (my definitions) are those that are caring, loving and bring joy, positive support, information that can improve your life, peace-of-mind, safety, respect and honest criticism with intentions of helping you. That is usually associated with family behavior but ANYONE can provide that regardless if there is a "blood connection (i.e., family)" or not.

Speaking for myself, I have more people OUTSIDE of that traditional "blood connection" that I consider FAMILY based upon THEIR behavior (in general and especially towards me and other blood connections) than I do with those INSIDE of that traditional "blood connection". Those inside of that "blood connection" that behave in that INCONSIDERATE and NEGATIVE manner I simply consider them to be BLOOD RELATIVES, minimize or avoid contact with them completely (whenever possible) not consider them to be FAMILY RELATIVES.

FOR MANY, elimination of that BLOOD RELATIVE waste is a very difficult and emotional thing to do. Well, think about this. IF they were behaving and treating YOU like family is supposed to be then ELIMINATION would not be necessary. Why don't they do it? Well, two reasons come to mind although there may be others:

1. They are MENTALLY and/or PHYSICALLY HANDICAPPED and incapable of behaving in a caring and loving manner (this behavior is excuseable).
2. They just DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU (this behavior is totally unexcuseable as far as I'm concerned).

Very few (if any) of us have the ability to CHANGE or CONTROL the behavior of others. Nowadays, unfortunately, the most common forms of behavior is:

- IRRESPONSIBLE Partying,
- PRETENDING to be all that you aren't,
- OVER EATING with very little exercise,
- Impulsively and Foolishly OVER SPENDING,
- Trying to get someone to spend THEIR money on them,
- TAKING or ATTEMPTING TO TAKE advantage of others
- TALKING about things they CLAIM they gonna do (but don't),
- CHASING poon (I said "chasing" not "getting"),
- TALKING or LYING about what poon they got years ago (no recent conquests),
- LYING to each other about things they CLAIM to have done (but didn't),
- UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS of someone else bailing them out of BAD situations that they SELFISHLY and IRRESPONSIBLY got themselves into.

Will ANY of that behavior be replaced or complimented with productive behavior? Unfortunately, for MOST of them the answer is NO. Fortunately, for a VERY FEW of them the answer is YES.

My advice? ELIMINATE THAT WASTE and align yourselves with sensible, responsible, CONSIDERATE, respectable, productive and POSITIVE people. AVOID those NEGATIVE people as often as possible even if they reside within YOUR "so-called" family because eventually they will cause you discomforts and maybe even financial problems.

There are enough DECENT family and non-family people out there such that you don't need the negative. If you are caught up with those NEGATIVE people (blood and non-blood types), I suggest that you re-think your position, re-think your life and do what I do which is ELIMINATE THAT WASTE.

ON THE OTHER HAND, if you choose to NOT eliminate that waste you certainly have that choice to do so and live with it but PLEASE DO NOT come to us and complain about it during or afterwards.

Don't Hate The Player, Learn The Game

THEY KNOW he's a player and they LET HIM play so why not?? There are plenty of DUMB and GULLIBLE SHEEP out there ready to WILLINGLY follow him and financially support HIS GAME.

Are ALL pastors "con artists" or "wolf's in sheeps clothing"? Of course not but those that can are waiting for AND definitely will answer the call of OPPORTUNITY to get into THE GAME.

Excerpt from my book "The Good Man's Survival Guide - How to Identify and Avoid a No Good Skeezer" (2005). These types are no different than the other religious HYPOCRITES that knowingly violate their teachings KNOWING that all they have to do is claim weakness and ask for forgiveness. It's an OLD RELIGIOUS GAME that typically NEVER fails be they in the pulpit or in the congregation.

- PULPIT PIMP (The President of the Players Klub; the Top Dog) - He has the best game in the Klub. He uses religion as his game of choice and will seek women that have no man in their life. He realizes that most of those women will be more loyal to him than to their own man. Women are addicted to his social and financial status and are literally standing in line waiting for their chance to allow him lay hands and whatever else he wants on them to bless them and spiritually comfort them. He typically will have an ATTRACTIVE WIFE THAT KNOWS ABOUT HIS GAME but is not giving up the material perks, ego stroke and envy from other women so she accepts his behavior. Some of them will COMPENSATE YOUNG BOYS to receive sexual pleasure.

- He receives regular sacrificial offerings of TITS and ASS on the side. He’s the only member that gets the quick cash and spanks that ass without effort. His behavior is not considered criminal and if he is caught he knows that all he has to do is CLAIM that he is just a man, ask for forgiveness and it shall be done. He is the smoothest operator in the Klub and even the Player’s game is not as tight as his game.

These players weren't the first and they definitely won't be the last. Look at the benefits:

- SEX (Definitely all that you can handle),
- FANS (Oops, I guess I should play the game and use the politically correct term "worshippers") that are so DESPERATE to belong to something they will accept his behavior,
- MONEY (Especially from women and also from their husbands/boyfriends if he knows what's good for him),
- EXPENSIVE HOME and a LAVISH LIFESTYLE, (at the expense of the egotistically well-to-do, barely surviving and poor members of his congregation),
- ATTRACTIVE WIFE (if he has good taste) that, in most cases, won't leave him because she wants that money, envy from other women and lifestyle upgrade. She typically is simply the TROPHY wife and does not provide wife-like servies on a consistent basis (i.e., cooking, cleaning, sexing him to his satisfaction, etc.), and finally
- FORGIVENESS for his LIES and SINS by simply asking for it and is expected to receive a FIRST CLASS TICKET TO HEAVEN.

Now what PLAYER (oops, I mean man) in his right mind is going to walk away from an opportunity like that if they get the chance to do so?
For you DESPERATE and FOOLISH souls out there, "May God bless you and the PULPIT PIMP keep you emotionally high while you are FINANCING his HEAVEN here on earth" since you refuse to give him up and THINK FOR YOURSELVES.

FINALLY: I must say that IF following those PIMPS keeps you from doing physical, mental or financial harm to ANYONE ELSE in anyway possible then by all means NEVER leave them. IF that's the case then they are doing a wonderful COMMUNITY service.

If You Don't Want To Be Challenged, You Don't Have An Opinion

When I write my blogs I try to stay on point and not drift and even if I do and someone brings it to my attention I willingly correct it because that's the MATURE thing to do. That is, if their criticism makes sense and is not just an emotional rant like so many of them are.

I saw these comments online and since I can't reference the website I will just paste a portion here:

"... not everyone wants to explain or defend their thoughts..."

"If you are a person who shies away from debates that challenge your point of view, it’s because you don’t have an opinion that you can intelligently support".

----

Some adults are just accustomed to NOT having their statements questioned, accustomed to talking to others who think in the same manner or talking AT (not with) adults/minors who dare not question them. I truly believe their perception of a good conversation is, "You listen to me and don't disagree with or question what I have to say and then I listen to you and don't disagree with or question what you have to say. That way we will have a good conversation between the two of us". In other words, they can't handle being challenged, can't handle truth about themselves if it's not what they want to hear and will typically enclose themselves into a world that they have the perception of control. Hey, if it works for them.... WHATEVER (lol).

From time to time I will have a discussion with people and in doing so I will ask for clarification to a statement they make about one of my topics, a topic in general or if they make an ASSumption about me based upon something they think I have said or written. I will ask for clarification in an attempt to clearly understand what they are saying so that I can INTELLIGENTLY respond to them as well as make corrections IF they can give me a clear and reasonable explanation to defend their statements. IF they can provide me with a clear and reasonable explanation I have no problem changing or retracting my statement(s) without any attitude or harsh feelings towards that or those individuals.

Why can I so easily change or retract my statement you ask?? It's because when I engage in a discussion (unless it's just bullshitting between us), I try to be as clear and sensible as possible so that I WON'T make myself look like a babbling idiot or foolish person. I try to make a point of NOT flaunting my IGNORANCE and will very seldom say something that I can't back up with more than a "just because" or "because I said so" response. Definiton of Ignorance: "displaying a lack of knowledge in a particular topic" so if you get angry at my use of the word ignorance then you have begun do display your ignorance about the definition of ignorance (lol). No one's knows everything and we all can make mistakes.

It takes a MATURE person to admit to their mistakes as well as be capable of discussing a point they have made when someone else disagrees with him/her. The ones that can't handle being questioned will typically want to drop the discussion and move on to another topic or terminate the communication with YOU all together. DON'T take it personal or be angry with him/her. Just accept them for who they are and realize their limitations with it comes to INTELLIGENT, non-bullshit dialog UNLESS you will agree with everything that comes out of his/her mouth.

Please provide your comments in the box below. I am sure that we all know at least one person that fit the above behavior. If so, why not send this link to them. I would love to read their comment on my blogpage and well as let others read it too.

SUGGESTION FOR THOSE WHO CHALLENGE YOU:

ANYONE that challenges you opens themselves up to have their challenges challenged so don't be so defensive when it occurs.

Accept the FACT that other people have opinions regarding what you say and just as they can challenge what YOU say, you can also challenge what THEY say about what YOU'VE said to validate them or make them look foolish. Now if you can't justify YOUR statements and he/she can't justify THEIR challenge then both of you are simply bullshitting each other so accept it.

Why Do Females Say Men Need To Settle Down Before They Get Too Old?

Excerpt from book #2 "The Good Man's Survival Guide - Rules of Engagement".

Over these past few years I have been asked basic questions that I feel ALL average males should know. I have decided to include them in this section titled “Responses to your Concerns”. There’s never enough information that a male can receive to assist him in avoiding the pitfalls that he will encounter inside that ring of life.

Concern #4: Why do females say men need to settle down before they get too old?

I am a single, successful and happy male so what should I say to females that constantly tell me I need to settle down and get married so I won’t end up old and alone with no one to care for me?

Answer:

I am sure that the vast majority of females that make that statement are man-less themselves. Most of those females are really thinking of themselves being old and alone. That statement is not about you, it's about them.

Many married females or females in non-marital relationships are going to eventually end up alone due to divorce, breakup or death. Many will never have a long-lasting relationship because of their bad attitude and poor choices in males. Those types are usually spoiled, IMMATURE and inconsiderate OF YOU, trifling, have selfish attitudes and will always be available. They want the foolish man to take them and their burdens into his COMFORTABLE lifestyle so they won’t be alone.

Many females today aren’t consistently caring for DECENT, AVERAGE males anyway. They are too busy catering/submitting to males that that are in a marital or non-marital relationship, that don't give a crap about them, that won't commit to them, that have multiple females or is all about herself and doing things that will benefit her in the present and the future. So what guarantee is there that she will GENUINELY do those things for you, the decent average male, when you are older that she isn’t doing for any decent, average male now? There is none.

THERE ARE UNSELFISH, REASONABLE, MAN-LOVING, FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE AND CONSIDERATE FEMALES out there so take your time and know what you are getting into before you make a costly mistake that you will regret later. The key is making sure that you are in a solid financial position throughout your life. As long as your self-esteem is high and you are in good mental, physical and financial health, you will NOT SETTLE and will always have access to females because many of them are constantly making poor choices in life and looking for a man to upgrade their lifestyle and bail them out financially and/or emotionally.

Don’t be foolish and settle for what you don’t want and pay a dear price for it later. Take your time and choose wisely. When it comes to getting old, if you are an OLD FART that has his act together and seeking companionship, you’ll always have OPTIONS.

Many females’ biggest concerns are 1) growing old and being alone, 2) physical apperance eroding and/or 3) QUALITY males giving their attention and money to younger females instead of them which of course this does not apply to females who are switching over to other females. In my opinion, their biggest concerns should be physical and financial health.

Skeezers will place more emphasis on their physical APPEARANCE as opposed to their physical and financial health. Why?? It's because females, in general, realize that males are MENTALLY weaker than they are when it comes to interactions with them and MOST males will FREELY and FOOLISHLY risk or surrender all that they have worked for and earned for the opportunity to have her in his company (players and wise men excluded of course).

As people get older the body naturally degrades and the mind matures (well, it should mature but in many cases don't) to a point where the EXCITEMENT generated by that commercialized PHYSICAL APPEARANCE will be far less important than the PEACE-OF-MIND generated through FINANCIAL SECURITY. FINANCIAL SECURITY is what gives you the platform to meet all sorts of women and WISDOM is what allows you to choose a quality woman and keep that financial security as opposed to choosing a female who has lived irresponsibly most of her life and is now expecting YOU to support and take care of her.

You will never be in a position to acquire financial security and have a QUALITY woman IF you are making poor choices in females. An OLD, BROKE male has NO LEVERAGE and NO OPTIONS in life when it comes to obtaining QUALITY female companionship. At best the only female companionship OPTIONS will be OLD, BROKE females that have been dumped into the recycle bin.

Be STRONG and WISE in your choice and not WEAK and STUPID.