Real Love Comes From Her Heart, Not From YOUR Wallet

IF you are going to choose a companion, choose one that will want you for you. There are those that will be there for you and will withstand the test of time and temptation (of other men) with you. A REAL WOMAN will see the value in YOU. All that a REAL HO wants is WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET and how well you can serve HER until she finds who she feels is THE ONE and then DUMPS YOU.

DON'T waste your time on those immature, inconsiderate females that IGNORE YOU or send you to YOUR wallet in order to spend time with them. They are a waste and should be left to the males that are EXPERIENCED at doing to those types of females what they would eventually do to YOU. Leave those females to the REAL players and thugs that they deserve.

She has to desire you just as much and maybe even more than you do her. The reason is because SHE will be getting more attention and offers from other males than you will be getting from other females and IF she feels she has the man that she wants she will not allow others to disrupt what the two of you are attempting to develop.

TOO MANY males will have wasted their time and finances catering to uncaring females when they should have been investing that time and finances in themselves. By the time many of them reach their 40's they will have accomplished nothing of value in their lives. Many of them will not even have developed any marketable skills and the best that they will be able to do is know the latest DANCE MOVES and TALK TRASH to useless females and their male friends.

When the hair is gone, YOUR MONEY is gone, the women are gone because YOUR money is gone, YOUR vision begins to fade, YOUR hard body has softened up, YOU are moving a little slower, THE PILL doesn't work any longer, YOUR skin starts to wrinkle and dry, will YOU be able to accept the fact that years ago I TOLD YOU SO or will you be looking like an 'ole FOOL thinking you still got what it takes to get the ladies?

PREPARE YOURSELF NOW for your future later. ENJOY YOURSELF NOW and the pleasures that life has to offer.

If you sacrifice YOUR future by catering to and supporting INCONSIDERATE females, those same females will be laughing AT YOU and not WITH YOU because by then the jokes will be ON YOU "CLOWN".

What's Wrong With YOU PEOPLE (Part 1)

This situation can be applied to any individuals regardless of gender.

I received a call from female #1 that I know, asking my advice, about female #2 (we both know) that called her whining that her utilities were about to be cut off and wanted female #1 to GIVE (yep, she did not say loan even if that's what she meant) her some money to prevent her utilities from being cut off. OMG!! You know I had to seize the opportunity (lol).

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Before I begin, let me provide some information on both. I have known both of these females for over 15 years so please save the, "You don't know her(me)" nonsense, ok?

Female #1 - Single, divorced, employed, no college degree, has certified training, 1 adult child, living at home alone and has no cable television.

Female #2 - Single, divorced, unemployed, no college degree, has no certified training, 4 adult children (2 sons, 2 daughters all employed), living at home with one of her daughters and has the full compliment of cable television.
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It amuses me when you find certain people who DON'T want you in THEIR business but they DO want YOU to help them PAY for their business THEY SCREWED UP when they are in financial debt. So what's wrong with this picture?

Female #2 has communicated with female #1 only two times in the past 2 years and that was only when they met at two different mutual friends funerals. Female #2 has never taken the time to call and simply say, "Hello, just called to see how you are doing". Now, female #2 takes time to call female #1 when she is in need. I told her to DON'T give her a penny and here are my reasons for you beggars and inconsiderate people out there that will have a problem with what I am about to say:

1. SHE is inconsiderate of YOU as indicated such by the lack of genuine communication and concern for your well-being over the years (Remember that she had your number all of this time),

2. SHE is enjoying the convenience (not need) of cable tv and if you pay totally or partially that utilitiy bill you are contributing to HER irresponsible, financial management behavior,

3. HER priorities are obviously screwed up and she knows there are people out there, like YOU, that may come to her aid (that is, unless people like me talk to you first),

4. SHE has 2 adult sons and 2 adult daughters that are employed,

5. The home that she is living in is PAID for and has been for over 10 years. The husband made sure of that after he divorced her and left her a house and car that was paid for which means the only financial OBLIGATION is property taxes, utilities and maintenance. Everything else that she chooses are OPTIONS and not OBLIGATIONS,

6. HER grown children should be the ones she calls for financial help,

7. SHE has a daughter living with her that has a very good job (or at least that's what she braggs about) that is not paying a mortgage or rent since she is also living in that paid for home.

I will stop here because I could go on and on. So what's my point? If that's your question, then you are just as inconsiderate as female #2 is and I need not go any further with you. For the rest of you, this is a clear case of (just to mention a few):

1. Irresponsible - Not putting priorities where it matters as opposed to where SHE selfishly thinks it matters. Oh yea, if she received the notice of having her utilities cut off she had known for at least 2 months that she had not paid her bill. I'm willing to wager that her CABLE was not about to be cut off),

2. Poor Parenting - Didn't raise her children in a manner that would enable her to go to them IF needed,

3. Inconsiderate of Others - She calls female #1 ONLY when in need,

4. Looking for Sympathy and a Hand Out - She has no children to financially support, the youngest has been an adult for at least 5 years and she has CHOSEN to not continue her education or acquire job training.

MY LENDING HISTORY

I have had 1st, 2nd and a couple of 3rd degree burns, in my past, when it came to lending money to people inside and outside of my so-called family. I can freely say that I have probably been paid back about 20 percent of the money I have loaned to people. Am I angry at them? I was at one time regarding the 3rd degree financial burns. What I have learned is that anger improperly placed will NOT prevent you from getting burned again. It will simply make you angrier the next time you get burned because you will not have changed YOUR behavior and you certainly WILL increase your chances of getting burned again (lol).

What I have LEARNED to do is treat EVERY potential borrower that has NOT CONSISTENTLY proven themselves over a period of time to be worth of borrowing MY money or possessions like a BUSINESS transaction. I don't care if it's money or material items. You have to QUALIFY before I CONSIDER loaning you money or anything of my possession. I am going to get in YOUR business if YOU want to get any of my business (money or material possessions). I have learned to be VERY SELFISH and PROTECTIVE when it comes to those monies or possessions that I have EARNED by working and sacrificing for.

Here is what I do to people when they ask me to borrow money or any of my material possessions. This will SUCCESSFULLY turn away 100 percent of those that had no intentions of paying you back totally or partially or those that can't pay you back. It has worked for me and will work for you. ALL (not some) of these questions have to be YES or you should not extend yourself for that person.

1. I need to know if you are living financially responsible and have the ability to pay me back BEFORE I consider financially helping you which mean I want to know what your other financial obligations are and what your present income is,

2. Can you replace or pay me the FULL value of those possessions you borrow from me within 3 days if it's damaged, stolen or destroyed?

3. What can you put us as COLLATERAL that's worth at least twice as much as the item(s) you want to borrow from me?

4. Will you sign an agreement to pay me back within an agreed upon period of time or allow me to take full possession of whatever that collateral is to do with as I wish?

If they CLAIM they will pay you back but DON'T want to agree to items 1 - 4 above then I suggest they take their possessions of value to a pawn shop and work some agreement with them.

OPINION OF ME

Many have referred to me as mean and selfish. If I am considered mean because I WON'T accept someone else's laziness or feelings of entitlement to MY possessions then consider me to be a MEAN MO' FO'. As far as selfish is concerned there are, in my opinion, two types of selfishness:

Selfish #1. YOU want something for SELF, YOU sacrifice the time and effort to provide something for YOU,

Selfish #2. YOU want something for SELF, YOU expect others to sacrifice their time and effort to provide something for YOU.

I STRONGLY support and advise everyone to suscribe to Selfish #1 and I will NEVER back away from that position. We should all be selfish as it applies to Selfish #1 behavior.

What's Wrong With Being "Single and Happy"??

Let me first state I AM NOT anti-marriage, I AM pro-happiness. I have NO INTENTIONS on getting into a relationship that I HAVE TO PAY someone TO GET OUT OF or PAY someone AFTER the relationship is over. Skaa-rew you and the attorney that came with you (lol).

For some bizzare reason, some people believe that a person cannot be SINGLE and HAPPY and not in a relationship. Well, **NEWS FLASH**, SMART single people prefer to be happy ALONE until they find someone SENSIBLE rather than be MISERABLE or CHEATING in a marital or non-marital relationship. I believe that it's the people that are ENVIOUS or DISSATISFIED with their own relationship that can't accept or comprehend a single person being happy by themselves.

I believe that as long as two people are HAPPY, RESPONSIBLE and RESPECTFUL OF EACH OTHER there is no NEED to get married. Getting married should be an OPTION if both mutually want to do so and neither is NOT PRESSURED to do so. The ONLY expcetion would be if they plan to have children and even that DOES NOT REQUIRE being married. Here is my response to a common question, "What if you want everyone to have the last name"? Simply, just change the last name to the name that you want because it is LEGAL and DON'T REQUIRE MARRIAGE to do so. People change their names all the time so what's YOUR excuse.

SINGLE PEOPLE can be in a healthy relationship just as SOME marriages are. They can be in that healthy relationship living together or living in separate residences. If single people can RESPECT married people's arrangements, why don't MANY married people RESPECT single people's arrangements and especially when it appears that married people are the ones having the most problems?

I don't have a problem with married people that are happy. I have a problem with married people that WHINE and COMPLAIN about their marriages and should not be married. As I have stated before, "Marriages are not hard. It's trying to get someone that you SHOULD NOT have married to behave in a manner YOU want them to that is hard". My suggestion is to divorce that person and find yourself a more COMPATIBLE person to marry.

There are many married people that feel as if single people CANNOT BE HAPPY unless they are married and should surrender their HAPPY and CONTENT lives to enter into marriage. Why is that? I believe that's because most of them go through periods of misery and you know what they say, "Misery loves company".

I had a buddy tell me one time, "Man, you need to get married so we can have something to TALK about". Huh, my thoughts were, "No, he needs me to get married so we can have something to COMPLAIN about" (lol). It's as if a single person can't be around a married person unless they are LISTENING to them complain about their marriage (that their ass should not have gotten in to begin with), LISTENING to them brag or complain about their children (blah, blah, blah...) or here them ASK about social places to go to WITHOUT their spouse.

Yep, you have some that's married (who shouldn't be) that want to behave like they are single but in that cloak-n-dagger manner. In the past, I've had a few married friends wanted me to cover for them while they were out doing their side-thing with someone they enjoyed a moment of TEMPORARILY happiness with. I say temporarily because after all eventually they would have to go back to that unhappily, married environment.

The truth of the matter is that MANY males that are married can ONLY be happy IF they have someone on the outside of their marriage because they DID NOT want the committment of marriage, they wanted the EXISTENCE of a female living in the same domain that marriage provides with the opportunity of getting an occasional CONJUCAL visit from her when SHE felt the need to do so. As long as they ARE GETTING what they wanted from outside of the marriage, they are accepting of what they AREN'T GETTING from inside of their marriage.

FACT: Many married men DO NOT DISCRIMMINATE, are WILLING TO PAY (gifts, dinners, vacations or DIRECT DEPOSIT of cash into the female's hands or her bank account) and are simply WAITING for the opportunity to be serviced outside of their marriage. What does that tell you about the state of that marriage? No, I am not going to name names because MANY of their wives are aware of their behavior and all is well UNLESS his behavior goes public which forces her to PRETEND she has no knowledge of such behavior and then she jumps on the INNOCENT VICTIM wagon looking for sympathy, support and REVENGE.

MARRIAGE, for the purposes of making yourself or someone else happy, is usually a TEMPORARY fix to yours or the other person's LONELY life. Very few people want to examine or discuss what happens IF the marriage is a failure.

Marriage DOES NOT:

- make you happy, YOU make you happy,
- guarantee a union "until death do you part" (look at the high divorce rate),
- give you the opportunity to just walk away from a bad relationship,
- benefit MOST males unless they are of lesser financial means than the female.

Marriage DOES:

- BENEFIT the one of lesser financial means,
- BENEFIT the ones that have THE LOOK, have NO MONEY, NO AMBITION or NO MOTIVATION and just want to be CARED FOR and can make her scream God and/or Jesus's name in bed (Make sure you choose a potential wife that is at least 7 years old than you are, has a good paying CAREER (not job) WITH BENEFITS and is disappointed or angry at males her age and older)



- FORCE a person that DID NOT want to marry to cheat in order to recapture that happiness lost from getting married,
- provide a sense of happiness for everyone BUT the person who didn't really want to get married but did so anyway,
- give the person of lesser means an opportunity to PUNISH the other person FINANCIALLY if the other person decides to divorce and especially if the person of lesser means is a female,
- give the inconsiderate person the opportunity to DRAIN the other person of their physical, mental and financial well-being BEFORE they are able to break away.

Religious, social and cultural pressures to SURRENDER one's happiness, peace-of-mind and comforts for the BENEFIT of someone else who is UNHAPPY and too LAZY, SPOILED, IRRESPONSIBLE, IMMATURE and/or STUPID to produce that happiness themselves is quite common. Now who in their RIGHT MIND would want to be with someone like that? I guess a whole lot of people since I see so many people getting married to make someone else happy and later complaining to their family, friends and person they established a relationship with outside of their marriage.

Those pressures to marry GENERALLY come from parents, friends, clergy, other happy or unhappy married couples, etc.

My advice is to DON'T give in to anyone if you don't want to be married. Marry ONLY IF YOU are ready to do so. If they are not happy and content with self then all they can do is pass that BURDEN of making themselves happy onto YOUR shoulders.

Do you think trying to make someone else happy is really going to make you happy? Remember, marriage is EASY to get into but NOT EASY to get out of UNLESS you are POOR, have NO AMBITION and HAVE NOTHING to lose.

Daddy's Spoiled "PRINCESS" just may be YOUR Spoiled "BURDEN"

There are women that exist that are PREPARED and WILL contribute physically, mentally and financially to the development and maintenance of a healthy and MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL relationship. This blog DOES NOT pertain to them.

There are men out there that, for whatever reason, are seeking to have a relationship with an IRRESPONSIBLE, UNPREPARED, IMMATURE and/or FINANCIALLY DEPENDENT female and will partially or totally provide financial support (many females refer to it as "help"). This blog DOES NOT pertain to them.

There are men out there, like myself, that want NOTHING TO DO with IRRESPONSIBLE, UNPREPARED, IMMATURE and/or FINANCIALLY DEPENDENT females . This blog IS DEFINITELY for you.

This blog pertains to those IRREPSONSIBLE, UNPREPARED, IMMATURE and/or FINANCIALLY DEPENDENT females who have lived off of their parent(s) as minors and adults, did nothing to prepare themselves for TRUE independence, CANNOT CONTRIBUTE to a relationship in a manner that does not cause the man stress and are presently seeking a man, friends or other relatives to take the place of their parent(s).

"They treated her like the little princess she was to them. They ENFORCED little or no responsibilities on her as she was growing up. She partied with her friends, flirted, has no formal training, got a few jobs to simply pay for her clothes, nails and cell phone (maybe), was ALLOWED to do what she wanted to do when she wanted to do it and never had intentions on being TOTALLY responsible for herself. Now she's an adult, unprepared, it's time to go and she REFUSES to leave home".

MOST of these female types feel as if they will get a man to financially support them because of THEIR LOOKS and/or HIS STUPIDITY. Remember that I have previously stated in another blog that, "MOST males are mentally weaker than females when it comes to interacting with a female HE is attracted to". That's why most of them will take in these types of females and those females know it. If these female types knew they would TRULY be on their own and would have to support themselves WITHOUT a man's finances they would prepare themselves just like others do BUT THEY DON'T.

PROFILE

MANY of those types of females will have bounced in and out of their parents homes as well as moved around from man-to-man or friend-to-friend to AVOID the total responsibilities of adulthood. They usually are attractive or was attractive enough at one time which allowed them access into other men's lives to financially support them. They may have no children, a child or children as well. They may have a job but their credit will be lousy. If they are working, chances are that they are OVER-EXTENDED financially. I've been there and done the STUPID help thing so I know exactly what I'm talking about and trying to save as many males as possible precious wasted TIME and FINANCES. Unfortunately, as long as stupidity exist (and it will), there will always be casualties. I am just trying to do my part to minimize the number of casualties that WILL OCCUR.

Many of them WILL CATER to you but it will not be genuine. It's all about doing what it takes to eventually get YOU to PAY her bills and pay for their irresponsible behavior UNTIL she finds what she feels is THE ONE. Many of them will use men as a stepping stone constantly seeking to upgrade from ONE STUPID FOOL TO ANOTHER. I say stupid based upon my definition of, "Doing something knowing there is a slim or no chance but hoping she will change her mind, want you and cater to you as you are doing to her".

CONCLUSION

If males want these types of females and what comes with them it's THEIR CHOICE. My suggestion is to AVOID these types of females and select women that have PREPARED themselves for life's responsibililties because THEY DO EXIST.

Marriage, Marriage Vows and Marriage Behavior

This blog IS NOT a reflection of ALL marriages but many of you out there CERTAINLY know this reflects YOUR MARRIAGE or what your situation may be even BEFORE you get married. This is not directed at anyone in particular. It's aimed at a behavior that should be seriously examined in order to improve the chances of having successful and mutually productive marriages and drastically reduce the high number of domestic violence and divorce cases. A vast MAJORITY of marriages today are performed out of PRESSURE (to get married and usually it's the female that gives the ultimatum "marry me or it's over"), FINANCIAL (lifestyle upgrade) or STUPIDITY (I'm gonna marry you before someone else marries you).

Let me open by saying, "Marriages ARE NOT difficult for MATURE people who have waited and properly prepared themselves regardless of what people say" or "NOT difficult for MATURE people who realize the other person is not behaving in a manner that's conducive to the positive growth of a marriage and decides to leave as opposed to trying to make that square peg fit into that round hole". It's LIVING IN DENIAL about YOUR CHOICE in a mate and trying to MAKE it work with someone that DON'T RESPECT YOU or DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU or DON'T BEHAVE IN A MANNER THAT PLEASES YOU that is difficult". Now that I've probably pissed a few of you off let's get started so I can piss off more of you (lol).

I've decided to ADDRESS A BEHAVIOR that the majority of people choose to avoid talking about. MARRIAGE can be a wonderful, fulfilling and productive relationship provided ALL parties involved are matured and mentally prepared to accept and participate in its responsibilities. This is NOT condemning marriage regardless of how frustrating it is for some or how temporary it lasts for many because the institution of marriage is not going away. I want to address the VAGUE vows and HYPOCRITICAL behavior during that period that exist in MANY (not all) marriages.

I am going to PURPOSELY attempt to open those EMOTIONAL ARTERIES and allow the reality of many marriages to BLEED UNCONTROLLABLY. Why am I doing this you ask? Well, I love to perform relationship ENEMAS whenever possible by injecting REALITY into them, based upon those vows, in an attempt to EXPOSE and REMOVE the denial, pain, confusion, anger, violence, nonsense, lack of love and hate that exists in many relationships. I simply decided to shine the light on the reality of many marriage relationships. After you read this blog, it should leave you with one of six options:

1. Continue that relationship living in denial about the hypocrisy of it,

2. Continue that relationship mutually agreeing to accept the hypocrisy of it,

3. Continue that relationship re-establishing clear codes of conduct for each individual,

4. Dissolve that relationship and get into a similar type relationship with another individual,

5. Dissolve that relationship and get into a similar type relationship with multiple individuals,

6. Dissolve that relationship and establish clear codes of conduct before getting into another relationship.

On several occasions I have provided definitions of certain terms prior to getting into a discussion. In my opinion definitions produces what I call the 3Es which is 1) Establishes Clarity, 2) Eliminates Confusion and 3) Exposes Corruption. With that said, let me start with the definitions:

1. Marriage - The legal union of two individuals usually entailing legal obligations of each person to the other.

2. Marriage Vows - Promises each partner make to each other during a wedding ceremony.

3. Marriage Behavior - The manner in which an individual or individuals function or operates during a marriage.

4. Relationship Enema - The process of injecting reality into the relationship in an attempt to expose the hypocrisy or denial and providing one or both individuals an opportunity to cleanse the relationship by eliminating the hypocrisy or denial that exists or accept it for what it is and not blame the other for its consequences.

5. Hypocrisy - The practice of professing beliefs, feelings or virtues that is not reflected in one's behavior.

6. Denial - The refusal to believe or accept something that obviously exists.

Here are my questions for YOU to ponder (if you wish) regarding marriage:

1. Who determined what the behavior of marriage is supposed to be?

2. Examine for yourself exactly what those behaviors are and see if YOU will comply with them.

3. Is that described behavior clearly outlined or vaguely described as a means of providing escape clauses to justify one's non-intended, non-compliant behavior?

4. Why are the vast majority of marriage vows so vague and left for interpretation by each individual?

5. Why isn't marriage vows more specific and clearly outlined since they are broadcasting them to GOD and those attending the ceremony?

6. Why isn't divorce stated in the public marriage vows as consequences for NOT adhering to these vows made before family, friends and GOD. Let me repeat, "Before GOD". (i.e., Minister will typically state, "We are here today – before God – because marriage is one of His most sacred wishes..."). So do you have a personal relationship with GOD? Does that include intentional lying and simply asking for forgiveness later? Is that how YOUR religion works?

5. Why are marriage vows stated if they are not going to be adhered to? (i.e., Will you love him/her, comfort him/her, honor and keep him/her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon him/her your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him/her as long as you both shall live?) . If you truly mean for ALL worse conditions then you need to remain in that marriage regardless. If you don't intend to remain in a marriage for SPECIFIC worse conditions then I suggest you don't say for worse UNLESS you clarify what those for worse conditions are that ARE NOT acceptable that you will announce to GOD and the witnesses at the ceremony WILL result in a DIVORCE.

6. Why do some people get married knowing he/she won't function in the best interest of that marriage?

MY PERSONAL OPINION

Marriage for many is simply a means-to-an-end and has NOTHING to do with honesty, integrity and/or MONOGAMY. That means-to-an-end depends on the intent of the individual or individuals. Some of those means are (but not limited to):

1. Financial security from someone else or the intent of such,

2. Desire to leave home due to pressures of imposed responsibility,

3. Lifestyle upgrade due to their own inability to produce it for themselves,

4. Desire to have someone at home while they seek other sexual partners outside of the home,

5. Social, family or religious pressure due to irresponsible sexual behavior that produced pregnancy,

6. Social, family or religious programming that requires YOU to get married and reproduce to help replenish the earth,

7. Psychological belief that you have to marry and have children in order to have them care for you when you get elderly (NOTE: Take a close look at the elderly (and especially at these care facilities) and you will see the many of them don't have children that truly care for them or communicate with them on a regular basis. It's sad but it's the truth).

At least one (if not both) individuals in MANY marriages KNOWS that the other is not complying or going to comply with those VAGUELY STATED marriage vows but they PLAY THE WEDDING GAME and go through the process anyway. The vagueness of the wedding vows assist in perpetuating the childhood FANTASY of that wonderful wedding ceremony for the female because no one wants to RUIN that fantasy for her with clear and specific vows that PUBLICLY obligates both of them.

Am I knocking marriage? Absolutely not. I am simply exposing the HYPOCRISY of marriage BEHAVIOR based upon the traditional and VAGUE vows stated, the OBVIOUS DENIAL about that behavior and the ever increasing number of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and DIVORCES that are occurring as a result of that behavior. Will my exposing of this cause most people to change? Of course not. Will the number of domestic violence cases and divorces remain the majority? I think so and I believe the domestic violence will get worse AS LONG AS there are pressures to marry too early, as long as those VAGUE marriage vows continue to be allowed and the HYPOCRITICAL behavior exists after those vows have been stated.

I am simply stating, as I indicated in the beginning, an observation that MOST choose to avoid talking openly and honestly about.

UNPOPULAR (ODD) BEHAVIOR

Get an education, become employed, develop individual responsibilities, live by yourself for a while, align yourself with other responsible people, RESPONSIBLE sexual behavior, accepting the negative consequences of your choices and blame no one else, enjoy the pleasures of dating different people and NOT becoming a sperm donor or incubator, open and direct communication, develop some sort of career, if looking for monogamous relationship date exclusively AFTER you've dated different people then decide IF you want to pursue marriage and family.

POPULAR (COMMON) BEHAVIOR

The majority behavioral standards of (pick a few): Immaturity, unreasonable expectations, entitlement (what's yours is mine if you want me) attitude, mind games, stress, align yourself with other irresponsible people, IRRESPONSIBLE sexual behavior, blaming the negative consequences of your choices on someone else, planned (scandalous) pregnancy, UNWANTED child births, evading child support, never leaving home, living off others, financial irresponsibility, domestic violence and a few deaths due to it. This is probably easier for most people to accept than to accept that ODD behavior above.

MY CONCLUSION

MARRIAGE VOWS need to be re-evaluated, re-written and stated in the ceremony based upon what one WILL DO and not stated based upon what one HOPE they or the other individual will do. If one or both cannot conform to those old traditional, VAGUE and ASSumed vows then here are 3 options:

1. DON’T get married.

2. Each one state their vows based upon what they WILL do and DO IT on a consistent basis.

3. Change your vows to be short and to the point so no one will be lying to God or the witnesses, “(Man) I take thee to be my wife”, “(Woman) I take thee to be my husband”, “(Clergy) By the power invested in me I now pronounce you Husband and Wife”.

Based upon option 3, there is NO cheating or violating the marriage because there are NO clear standards of behavior that was stated for that marriage. These are the vows that should be stated based upon the behavior oF MOST marriages today.

NEVER marry someone to make THEM happy. If they don't come to you already happy then they WILL burden you with their sadness, laziness and lack of initiative to make themselves happy. If you FOOLISHLY do so, you will eventually find out that you will NEVER be TRULY at that happy state that you were before the marriage until AFTER the divorce.

MARRIAGE should not be treated like a toy that you purchase, play with and then toss in the closet once you become bored with it and search for another toy (marriage) to play with. That is the mentality of a child (with a toy) and immature adult (with a marriage). You SHOULD NOT enter a marriage situation if YOU are not already happy and content with YOU. Marriage DOES NOT guarantee anyone happiness. Marriage gives you an opportunity to enhance the happiness and contentment that you should already have before you enter into a marriage.

NO ONE CAN force you to marry, force you to agree to those vague vows or force you to behave in a manner not consistent with your vows. ALL OF THOSE ACTIONS ARE WILLINGLY PERFORMED BY YOU for your own personal reasons regardless of the excuses you may give others for doing so.

If you don't like or are having problems with the relationship you are in then FIX IT or GET OUT OF IT before you make another BAD relationship decision by getting married. Getting married DOES NOT fix pre-marital problems. It simply prepares a foundation for eventual DIVORCE. If you have problems prior to marriage and FOOLISHLY choose to proceed into a marriage then SHUT UP and accept the difficulties as they come. Just be patient because I promise you they will definitely come. It's just that simple.

My Momma Didn't Raise No Fools

Ever hear someone say, "My Momma Didn't Raise No Fools". Well, hold on because if YOU have ever said or thought that, this may apply to you, your children or somone you know so CHECK YOURSELF before going public with a statement like that. I believe, "If you refuse to RESPONSIBLY plan and guide your child's life or your momma did not RESPONSIBLY plan and guide your life then they (or you) just may have raised A FOOL".

Society, in general, has deemed it a requirement for males to be responsible and accountable in all areas of their lives whether males comply with that requirement or not. Society, in general, has deemed it an option for females to be responsible and accountable in areas of their choosing as well as given an option to pass certain responsibilities and accountabilities on to the male if she chooses do so. Sadly enough many males have also contributed to this irresponsible and unaccountable behavior by many (not all) females.

How about we stop using society as the excuse for being responsible and blame the sperm donor and incubator for being IRRESPONSIBLE and NEGLECTFUL?

RAISING CHILDREN (Many Parents Will Not Like This)

Many (not all) parents fail to IMPOSE responsibility on their children as it applies to personal and co-operative responsibilities in the household. This is one of the MAJOR reasons why there are so many irresponsible and inconsiderated adults today. I chose the word impose because it's a word that conveys responsibility being a REQUIREMENT and not an OPTION. There are 6 areas that should be a REQUIREMENT on children as they are developing in the home: 1) Education, 2) Self-Discipline, 3) Financial Management, 4) Household Duties, 5) Respecting Others and 6) Accountability.

**Important** - Self-Discipline, as applied to the parents, INCLUDE not having more children than you can afford to spend money on to support AND spend time with to develop. This applies to a one and/or two parent home. IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD EM, DON'T HAVE EM. Get yourself a pet or a talking baby doll and save everyone else the trouble of having to support and/or raise YOUR child(ren).

ADULTHOOD

Failure to apply the above requirements to children will, in most cases, produce irresponsible and inconsiderate male and female adults with no expectations of accountability for their irresponsible and inconsiderate actions. Life to them is simply DO MY THING NOW and let someone else deal with the consequences later.

These actions DO NOT reflect neglect on ALL parents who's children end up this way. There are many parents that "don't know about" or "don't know how to apply" those above requirements because THEIR parents did not do or did not know so the cycle continues to repeat itself as they pro-create. That does not excuse ALL parents because there are some SPERM DONERS (males) or INCUBATERS (females) that truly DON'T GIVE A SHYT about anything or anyone else and nothing can be done about those types EXCEPT PRAY that they don't pro-create or keep pro-creation to an absolute minimum. There will also be a percentage of parents who WILL provide responsible direction and the child(ren) will still end up irresponsible and inconsiderate. I typically will place their situations in the SHIT HAPPENS file.

ADULT INTERACTIONS

There are 3 levels of interaction: 1) Personal, 2) Professional and 3) Social levels. All of these levels are considered relationships and are very important in our overall development with other male and female individuals. The majority of most adults INABILITY to fairly and sensibly interact with each other at those levels will typically be due to the NEGLECT or POOR PARENTING they received as a child.

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Here is where I go out on a limb, "There are very few BAD monogamous marital and non-marital personal relationships". I know what your response to that one is, "Bullshit, you needed to spend time with me in my last relationship before you made that stupid statement". Well, if you had not been so emotional and interrupted me you would have respectfully allowed me to complete my other sentence which I will do now (thank you). "There a many BAD choices that we make for those relationships".

I personally believe that UNTIL one gets to the point where there is NO physical stimulation or sexual desires that maturity, multiple dating experiences and physical attraction should be the 3 primary requirements in selecting a mate for a monogamous relationship.

This paragraph, which is one of many examples, describes FOOLISH behavior as a result of the neglect or poor parenting guidance as a male and female child. UNFORTUNATELY, due to the behavior of many low self-esteem, desperate, lonely and foolish males, we have to include a 4th requirement for most (not all) females which is financial wealth to upgrade HER lifestyle. In many cases, for many females, financial wealth can be a replacement for physical attraction since the true attraction is to HER lifestyle upgrade and not HIS physical appearance so she will SETTLE for the average, wealthy male until she can upgrade to an attractive, wealthy male or an attractive male with a HUGE personality and knows how to use it to make her submit to him. The female will sometimes attempt to keep the "CASH COW" and the "STUD" to fulfill her fantasy of having that COMPLETE relationship.

CONCLUSION

If you are seeking a monogamous relationship SPEND MAXIMUM TIME WITH and MINIMAL FINANCES ON that person while getting to know him/her. Impress them by simply being your day-to-day self. THERE ARE still SENSIBLE people out there so take your time and choose wisely or YOU may end up with some momma's FOOL.

If you are seeking a booty call then WISELY SPEND MINIMAL TIME WITH and MAXIMUM "AFFORDABLE" FINANCES ON that person, PROTECT YOURSELF as you hit it and move on until the next time.

If you CHOOSE to IGNORE all that is written above, then just maybe YO MOMMA DID RAISE A FOOL.

If You "INVITE" Me You Pay, If You "INFORM" Me I Pay

I sometimes like to begin with definitions in an attempt to minimize or eliminate immature mind games, confusion and/or ASSumptions thus improving the chances of having a mature, intelligent and common sense discussion. If we are going to use words or expressions, let's be clear in the beginning, as to what it means.

Definition of Invite: A request (spoken or written) to be present or take part in something (Ex: "Hey, I am inviting you to come with me and see my friend perform tonight at the concert").

Definition of Inform: To give or provide (spoken or written) information to be present or take part in something (Ex: "Hey, I am letting you know that I am going to see my friend perform tonight at the concert").

I'm sure we are all familiar with the phrase, "Whoever Invite Should Pay", right? Well, my question is, "Should that be ONLY reserved for dating"? By the way, dating nowadays applies to opposite and same sex individuals.

Here's a broader question. Should whoever invite for anything pay? My reason for broadening the question is due to the numerous INVITES I receive to attend some sort of gathering or event. I would like to propose that IF YOU are going to INVITE someone as opposed to INFORM someone of a gathering or event then there should be NO COST REQUIRED to the invitee.

Here are a few examples:

- There is a sporting event (Basketball, Football, etc.) occurring and someone extends an INVITE to come out and enjoy at a place of business,

- Someone is having a personal event (anniversary celebration, birthday party, wedding afterparty, DIVORCE party) and extends an INVITE to come out and celebrate at a place of business,

- Someone is promoting a social event and extends an INVITE to come out and enjoy at a place of business.

Invite, Invite, Invite and did I mention that somewhere in that INVITE there is going to be an admission charge that YOU have to pay? Why shouldn't "Whoever Invite Pay" apply in this instance? Don't give me that, "It's different than dating" lame excuse because in most cases it's the same for most people. I've even heard of instances where the person that extended the invite was a no show so what's up with that? Should they be required to provide a refund IF you pay and enter the event based upon THEIR invite and they don't show?

My issue is not the cost because I believe in personal, financial responsibility unlike many others so I will pay if I want to attend an event IF that's a requirement. My issue is the INVITE and the ASSumption that "Whoever Invites Pays" (whether they show up or not) which IS NOT the case in these kind of social event situations.

I guess I've just gotten to the point of "Put Your Money Where Your Invite Is" or "Stop Communicating That You Are Inviting Someone and Just Inform Them". In my opinion, people usually do that because they are accustomed to behaving in that manner in their past and/or just don't know any better. Can people change their way of thinking? Sure they can. Will they? That is yet to be seen but I believe that most of them won't.

Hopefully this blog will encourage those that have misused or confused the intent of the words INVITE and INFORM to clarify and properly apply them when communicating to others. Am I going to hold my breath and wait for the CHANGE to occur with others? Of course not. I enjoy living too much to hold my breath and die for someone's refusal to apply common sense (lol).

As always, your comments are welcomed.

ELIMINATE THAT WASTE - A Cleansing Is Good For The Mind, Body and Spirit

I perform this twice a year and it's made a HUGE difference in my life. WE are all human and therefore subject to making poor choices in people and activities throughout our lifetime. I'm sure that we all would like to not make those poor choices in our lives but realistically we do. The key is REFUSING to ELIMINATE those poor choices after we recognize them or NOT REPEATING those same poor choices again.

I started doing this years ago at the beginning of December of each year such that I remove the NEGATIVE people and activities out of my life. Once I started I realized that I needed to also perform an END OF SUMMER CLEARANCE for all the waste I accumulated during the first part of the year and through the summer so now I do this twice a year. You'd be surprised just how much time and expenses you will NO LONGER WASTE and have for yourself to do more productive things or SIMPLY LET YOUR BODY and MIND rest and regenerate. If you don't try it, then continue to OVERDOSE on energy pills and STRESS.

FAMILY (my definitions) are those that are caring, loving and bring joy, positive support, information that can improve your life, peace-of-mind, safety, respect and honest criticism with intentions of helping you. That is usually associated with family behavior but ANYONE can provide that regardless if there is a "blood connection (i.e., family)" or not.

Speaking for myself, I have more people OUTSIDE of that traditional "blood connection" that I consider FAMILY based upon THEIR behavior (in general and especially towards me and other blood connections) than I do with those INSIDE of that traditional "blood connection". Those inside of that "blood connection" that behave in that INCONSIDERATE and NEGATIVE manner I simply consider them to be BLOOD RELATIVES, minimize or avoid contact with them completely (whenever possible) not consider them to be FAMILY RELATIVES.

FOR MANY, elimination of that BLOOD RELATIVE waste is a very difficult and emotional thing to do. Well, think about this. IF they were behaving and treating YOU like family is supposed to be then ELIMINATION would not be necessary. Why don't they do it? Well, two reasons come to mind although there may be others:

1. They are MENTALLY and/or PHYSICALLY HANDICAPPED and incapable of behaving in a caring and loving manner (this behavior is excuseable).
2. They just DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU (this behavior is totally unexcuseable as far as I'm concerned).

Very few (if any) of us have the ability to CHANGE or CONTROL the behavior of others. Nowadays, unfortunately, the most common forms of behavior is:

- IRRESPONSIBLE Partying,
- PRETENDING to be all that you aren't,
- OVER EATING with very little exercise,
- Impulsively and Foolishly OVER SPENDING,
- Trying to get someone to spend THEIR money on them,
- TAKING or ATTEMPTING TO TAKE advantage of others
- TALKING about things they CLAIM they gonna do (but don't),
- CHASING poon (I said "chasing" not "getting"),
- TALKING or LYING about what poon they got years ago (no recent conquests),
- LYING to each other about things they CLAIM to have done (but didn't),
- UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS of someone else bailing them out of BAD situations that they SELFISHLY and IRRESPONSIBLY got themselves into.

Will ANY of that behavior be replaced or complimented with productive behavior? Unfortunately, for MOST of them the answer is NO. Fortunately, for a VERY FEW of them the answer is YES.

My advice? ELIMINATE THAT WASTE and align yourselves with sensible, responsible, CONSIDERATE, respectable, productive and POSITIVE people. AVOID those NEGATIVE people as often as possible even if they reside within YOUR "so-called" family because eventually they will cause you discomforts and maybe even financial problems.

There are enough DECENT family and non-family people out there such that you don't need the negative. If you are caught up with those NEGATIVE people (blood and non-blood types), I suggest that you re-think your position, re-think your life and do what I do which is ELIMINATE THAT WASTE.

ON THE OTHER HAND, if you choose to NOT eliminate that waste you certainly have that choice to do so and live with it but PLEASE DO NOT come to us and complain about it during or afterwards.

Don't Hate The Player, Learn The Game

THEY KNOW he's a player and they LET HIM play so why not?? There are plenty of DUMB and GULLIBLE SHEEP out there ready to WILLINGLY follow him and financially support HIS GAME.

Are ALL pastors "con artists" or "wolf's in sheeps clothing"? Of course not but those that can are waiting for AND definitely will answer the call of OPPORTUNITY to get into THE GAME.

Excerpt from my book "The Good Man's Survival Guide - How to Identify and Avoid a No Good Skeezer" (2005). These types are no different than the other religious HYPOCRITES that knowingly violate their teachings KNOWING that all they have to do is claim weakness and ask for forgiveness. It's an OLD RELIGIOUS GAME that typically NEVER fails be they in the pulpit or in the congregation.

- PULPIT PIMP (The President of the Players Klub; the Top Dog) - He has the best game in the Klub. He uses religion as his game of choice and will seek women that have no man in their life. He realizes that most of those women will be more loyal to him than to their own man. Women are addicted to his social and financial status and are literally standing in line waiting for their chance to allow him lay hands and whatever else he wants on them to bless them and spiritually comfort them. He typically will have an ATTRACTIVE WIFE THAT KNOWS ABOUT HIS GAME but is not giving up the material perks, ego stroke and envy from other women so she accepts his behavior. Some of them will COMPENSATE YOUNG BOYS to receive sexual pleasure.

- He receives regular sacrificial offerings of TITS and ASS on the side. He’s the only member that gets the quick cash and spanks that ass without effort. His behavior is not considered criminal and if he is caught he knows that all he has to do is CLAIM that he is just a man, ask for forgiveness and it shall be done. He is the smoothest operator in the Klub and even the Player’s game is not as tight as his game.

These players weren't the first and they definitely won't be the last. Look at the benefits:

- SEX (Definitely all that you can handle),
- FANS (Oops, I guess I should play the game and use the politically correct term "worshippers") that are so DESPERATE to belong to something they will accept his behavior,
- MONEY (Especially from women and also from their husbands/boyfriends if he knows what's good for him),
- EXPENSIVE HOME and a LAVISH LIFESTYLE, (at the expense of the egotistically well-to-do, barely surviving and poor members of his congregation),
- ATTRACTIVE WIFE (if he has good taste) that, in most cases, won't leave him because she wants that money, envy from other women and lifestyle upgrade. She typically is simply the TROPHY wife and does not provide wife-like servies on a consistent basis (i.e., cooking, cleaning, sexing him to his satisfaction, etc.), and finally
- FORGIVENESS for his LIES and SINS by simply asking for it and is expected to receive a FIRST CLASS TICKET TO HEAVEN.

Now what PLAYER (oops, I mean man) in his right mind is going to walk away from an opportunity like that if they get the chance to do so?
For you DESPERATE and FOOLISH souls out there, "May God bless you and the PULPIT PIMP keep you emotionally high while you are FINANCING his HEAVEN here on earth" since you refuse to give him up and THINK FOR YOURSELVES.

FINALLY: I must say that IF following those PIMPS keeps you from doing physical, mental or financial harm to ANYONE ELSE in anyway possible then by all means NEVER leave them. IF that's the case then they are doing a wonderful COMMUNITY service.

If You Don't Want To Be Challenged, You Don't Have An Opinion

When I write my blogs I try to stay on point and not drift and even if I do and someone brings it to my attention I willingly correct it because that's the MATURE thing to do. That is, if their criticism makes sense and is not just an emotional rant like so many of them are.

I saw these comments online and since I can't reference the website I will just paste a portion here:

"... not everyone wants to explain or defend their thoughts..."

"If you are a person who shies away from debates that challenge your point of view, it’s because you don’t have an opinion that you can intelligently support".

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Some adults are just accustomed to NOT having their statements questioned, accustomed to talking to others who think in the same manner or talking AT (not with) adults/minors who dare not question them. I truly believe their perception of a good conversation is, "You listen to me and don't disagree with or question what I have to say and then I listen to you and don't disagree with or question what you have to say. That way we will have a good conversation between the two of us". In other words, they can't handle being challenged, can't handle truth about themselves if it's not what they want to hear and will typically enclose themselves into a world that they have the perception of control. Hey, if it works for them.... WHATEVER (lol).

From time to time I will have a discussion with people and in doing so I will ask for clarification to a statement they make about one of my topics, a topic in general or if they make an ASSumption about me based upon something they think I have said or written. I will ask for clarification in an attempt to clearly understand what they are saying so that I can INTELLIGENTLY respond to them as well as make corrections IF they can give me a clear and reasonable explanation to defend their statements. IF they can provide me with a clear and reasonable explanation I have no problem changing or retracting my statement(s) without any attitude or harsh feelings towards that or those individuals.

Why can I so easily change or retract my statement you ask?? It's because when I engage in a discussion (unless it's just bullshitting between us), I try to be as clear and sensible as possible so that I WON'T make myself look like a babbling idiot or foolish person. I try to make a point of NOT flaunting my IGNORANCE and will very seldom say something that I can't back up with more than a "just because" or "because I said so" response. Definiton of Ignorance: "displaying a lack of knowledge in a particular topic" so if you get angry at my use of the word ignorance then you have begun do display your ignorance about the definition of ignorance (lol). No one's knows everything and we all can make mistakes.

It takes a MATURE person to admit to their mistakes as well as be capable of discussing a point they have made when someone else disagrees with him/her. The ones that can't handle being questioned will typically want to drop the discussion and move on to another topic or terminate the communication with YOU all together. DON'T take it personal or be angry with him/her. Just accept them for who they are and realize their limitations with it comes to INTELLIGENT, non-bullshit dialog UNLESS you will agree with everything that comes out of his/her mouth.

Please provide your comments in the box below. I am sure that we all know at least one person that fit the above behavior. If so, why not send this link to them. I would love to read their comment on my blogpage and well as let others read it too.

SUGGESTION FOR THOSE WHO CHALLENGE YOU:

ANYONE that challenges you opens themselves up to have their challenges challenged so don't be so defensive when it occurs.

Accept the FACT that other people have opinions regarding what you say and just as they can challenge what YOU say, you can also challenge what THEY say about what YOU'VE said to validate them or make them look foolish. Now if you can't justify YOUR statements and he/she can't justify THEIR challenge then both of you are simply bullshitting each other so accept it.

Why Do Females Say Men Need To Settle Down Before They Get Too Old?

Excerpt from book #2 "The Good Man's Survival Guide - Rules of Engagement".

Over these past few years I have been asked basic questions that I feel ALL average males should know. I have decided to include them in this section titled “Responses to your Concerns”. There’s never enough information that a male can receive to assist him in avoiding the pitfalls that he will encounter inside that ring of life.

Concern #4: Why do females say men need to settle down before they get too old?

I am a single, successful and happy male so what should I say to females that constantly tell me I need to settle down and get married so I won’t end up old and alone with no one to care for me?

Answer:

I am sure that the vast majority of females that make that statement are man-less themselves. Most of those females are really thinking of themselves being old and alone. That statement is not about you, it's about them.

Many married females or females in non-marital relationships are going to eventually end up alone due to divorce, breakup or death. Many will never have a long-lasting relationship because of their bad attitude and poor choices in males. Those types are usually spoiled, IMMATURE and inconsiderate OF YOU, trifling, have selfish attitudes and will always be available. They want the foolish man to take them and their burdens into his COMFORTABLE lifestyle so they won’t be alone.

Many females today aren’t consistently caring for DECENT, AVERAGE males anyway. They are too busy catering/submitting to males that that are in a marital or non-marital relationship, that don't give a crap about them, that won't commit to them, that have multiple females or is all about herself and doing things that will benefit her in the present and the future. So what guarantee is there that she will GENUINELY do those things for you, the decent average male, when you are older that she isn’t doing for any decent, average male now? There is none.

THERE ARE UNSELFISH, REASONABLE, MAN-LOVING, FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE AND CONSIDERATE FEMALES out there so take your time and know what you are getting into before you make a costly mistake that you will regret later. The key is making sure that you are in a solid financial position throughout your life. As long as your self-esteem is high and you are in good mental, physical and financial health, you will NOT SETTLE and will always have access to females because many of them are constantly making poor choices in life and looking for a man to upgrade their lifestyle and bail them out financially and/or emotionally.

Don’t be foolish and settle for what you don’t want and pay a dear price for it later. Take your time and choose wisely. When it comes to getting old, if you are an OLD FART that has his act together and seeking companionship, you’ll always have OPTIONS.

Many females’ biggest concerns are 1) growing old and being alone, 2) physical apperance eroding and/or 3) QUALITY males giving their attention and money to younger females instead of them which of course this does not apply to females who are switching over to other females. In my opinion, their biggest concerns should be physical and financial health.

Skeezers will place more emphasis on their physical APPEARANCE as opposed to their physical and financial health. Why?? It's because females, in general, realize that males are MENTALLY weaker than they are when it comes to interactions with them and MOST males will FREELY and FOOLISHLY risk or surrender all that they have worked for and earned for the opportunity to have her in his company (players and wise men excluded of course).

As people get older the body naturally degrades and the mind matures (well, it should mature but in many cases don't) to a point where the EXCITEMENT generated by that commercialized PHYSICAL APPEARANCE will be far less important than the PEACE-OF-MIND generated through FINANCIAL SECURITY. FINANCIAL SECURITY is what gives you the platform to meet all sorts of women and WISDOM is what allows you to choose a quality woman and keep that financial security as opposed to choosing a female who has lived irresponsibly most of her life and is now expecting YOU to support and take care of her.

You will never be in a position to acquire financial security and have a QUALITY woman IF you are making poor choices in females. An OLD, BROKE male has NO LEVERAGE and NO OPTIONS in life when it comes to obtaining QUALITY female companionship. At best the only female companionship OPTIONS will be OLD, BROKE females that have been dumped into the recycle bin.

Be STRONG and WISE in your choice and not WEAK and STUPID.

Relationships Aren't Difficult but Living In Denial About YOUR Relationship Certainly Is

.
Ever hear someone say, "Relationships are difficult"?

Husbands/Boyfriends will say it. Wives/Girlfriends will say it. Same sex couples will say it. I'm here to shed some enlightenment and point out some things that WE already know that YOU refuse to accept which is why I gave it the above title.

Let's be clear before I begin that I am speaking of personal, intimate relationships and not business or social relationships that also exist and in many cases difficult or hard to maintain as well for various reasons.

In this case, relationships apply to marital and non-marital situations.


TO THOSE WHO SAY SUCH MY RESPONSE IS:

- Relationships ARE NOT difficult or hard to maintain. Pretending YOUR relationship is all that you want others to believe is hard to maintain

- The REALITY of the other person's UNFAVORABLE behavior is difficult because YOU want to PRETEND or HIDE the fact from others that it does not exist

- YOU don't want to accept the fact that YOU CHOSE to have a relationship, marriage, family with someone who's COMPLETE behavior does not reflect that which you would like to have and talk to others about REGARDLESS of how responsible they may be in other areas of that relationship

- The difficulty in that relationship is YOUR refusal to accept the REALITY of that person's behavior


TYPICAL EXAMPLES (does not apply to all and may apply to both male and female as well):

- DESIRE to have outside relationships

- ATTEMPTS at having outside relationships

- HAVING outside relationships

- KNOWING (not suspecting or hearing rumors) that YOUR mate is having or have had one or multiple outside relationship(s) and YOU CHOOSING to remain in that relationship

- EVIDENCE (not assumptions or rumors) that your mate has lied to you on one or many occasions

- KNOWING your mate has pornographic material or viewing pornographic websites and YOU don't approve of that behavior

- Not spending enough DESIRED entertainment and quality time with mate

- Not making enough MONEY to provide mate with the things mate DESIRES

- INTENTIONAL or UNINTENTIONAL poor management of finances and expecting your mate to rescue you

- YOU ALLOWING YOUR or THEY ALLOWING THEIR outside influences (including family) to disrupt the relationship

- INSECURITIES and desire to have constant attention from mate or others in order to satisfy those insecurities

The above examples, and I am sure many more, can be reasons which causes YOU to think that relationships are difficult.


SOLUTIONS:

- LOVE yourself and YOUR peace-of-mind MORE than that PRETENTIOUS IMAGE of a relationship,

- LOVE yourself and YOUR peace-of-mind MORE than simply being in that DIFFICULT relationship (as you refer to it) for the sake of just being in a relationship,

- GET OUT of YOUR difficult relationship and make a WISER CHOISE for the next relationship, or

- ACCEPT that DIFFICULT relationship YOU CHOSE to be in and SHUT UP

Should A Female Be Initially Labeled A H^ or B^tch?

Before I begin I must make some things clear for the EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE and those NOT CAPABLE of rationally processing information:

CLARIFICATION:

1. H^'s and B^TCHES DO EXIST,
2. NOT ALL females are H*s and B*tches,
3. This information can also apply to males as well,
4. This is to be applied ONLY to those who's BEHAVIOR reflect such,
5. IF YOUR behavior reflects the information and you don't like it then CHANGE your behavior or ACCEPT the label given to you.
6. MOST MALES LIE about being genuine when it comes to paying for dining or event dates and says that he just want to have a lady's in his company AND wanting nothing in return. They want SERVICE for their compensation. That service can range from EXCLUSIVE TIME to SEX and many things in between. If females believe I'm lying simply tell the male that's compensating you that you are a) dating other males, b) having sex with another or other males and/or c) you won't be exclusive with him or you WON'T EVER have sex with him. MOST FEMALES won't say any of it because they don't want to stop receiving the UN-OBLIGATED benefits and they love the CONTROL GAME.

DEFINITIONS (based SOLELY upon behavior and NOT ASSumption):

H^ - One that EXPECTS/REQUIRES compensation (i.e., money, paying their way, favors, material things, etc.) or you absorbing all expenses incurred while spending time with her in exchange for her time and, in most cases, will not spend time with you UNLESS you do so. What happens with that time depends upon the H^, how well the H^ is compensated and if the H^ has an attraction to the compensator.

B^tch - One that EXPECTS/REQUIRES compensation (i.e., money, paying their way, favors, material things, etc.) or you absorbing all expenses incurred in exchange for her time with VERY LITTLE OR NO INTENT of giving him nothing more that what SHE chooses to give him if anything at all but the time to GIVE AGAIN TO HER the next time.

Lady - One that may ACCEPT but NOT EXPECT compensation (i.e., money, paying their way, favors, material things, etc.) or you absorbing all expenses incurred while spending time with her in exchange for her time. One that CAN and WILL spend time with a male WITHOUT compensation from him and will pay her own way WITHOUT ATTITUDE if necessary. What happens with that time will depend upon MUTUAL CONSENT.

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Now that I've gotten that out of the way let me proceed. My response is that NO female SHOULD NOT be initially labeled a H^, B^tch or Lady. Whatever happened to judging females based upon their own merits or behavior? To place a label on a female IN ADVANCE would be quite unfair to her and quite immature of the male. For ANY MALE to ASSume a female is a H^ or B^tch WITHOUT her behavior reflecting such or just because she has NO PERSONAL interest in him would be quite a PATHETIC and IMMATURE male in my opinion.

Females have no problem with being labeled a lady even though their behavior will have not yet been proven to or their present behavior does not warrant such a title. I personally simply refer to them as females UNTIL their behavior places them in one of the three categories. The label females DOES NOT place her in the gutter, IS NOT disrespectful and DOES NOT prematurely place her on a pedestal. I believe such a title as lady has to be EARNED and not freely given.

IN ALL FAIRNESS, a male should have no problem NOT being place on a pedestal as well UNTIL he has proven to EARN such. That earning of such label should be based upon how POLITE and RESPECTFUL he is as opposed to his monetary and material contributions. RESPECT should have nothing to do with money or material things but sadly enough, for many, it does.

FINAL NOTES:

Males SHOULD NOT pursue or put up with a H^ or B^tch because there is another option available IF he takes the time to screen them out. If males want to PURSUE something they should pursue something of more value such as their careers and use that time to develop themselves as opposed to being Captain "Save A H^" or "Save a B^tch". Once a male begins to value himself as opposed to valuing H^'s and B^tches more than himself, he will then begin to ELIMINATE WASTE (i.e., H^'s and B^tches) and start valuing in investing time in and with LADIES.

As I have always stated, there are some LOVING, INDEPENDENT and DECENT LADIES out there such that NO MALE should waste his time, resources or finances on females that treat them in an INCONSIDERATE and UNLOVING manner. If you do then YOU are a FOOLish male and deserve any pain and suffering your receive.

Females DON'T HATE PLAYING GAMES, they HATE LOSING GAMES

They LOVE PLAYING GAMES and the benefits that typically comes with playing. They hate the MALE PLAYERS that plays the GAME better than they do because they end up getting PLAYED.

BEFORE I BEGIN let me state for the record, I consider myself to be just another one of those average joe's. I don't flaunt myself or promote myself as being a "player, womanizer, baller, hunk, hot or all that" so don't bother responding with the typical "who do you think you are" or "you ain't all that" because I have just said that I wasn't, ok?

I find that reading the profiles on these social sites to be very amusing and quite hypocritical. Some of the most common phrases I read in those profiles are, "No Games", "I am not into Games", "If you are playing games move on" or "I'm tired of men who play games". It's really not games that these females are tired of, it's NOT getting what they want or NOT being IN CONTROL of the game that's their problem.

FEMALES LOVE PLAYING GAMES and one of the most common game they play is called, the "ADMISSION FEE" game (which I got from a good buddy of mine and I use quite often in my conversations). What is the admission fee game? It's quite simple, "If you want to spend time with her, you have to pay the admission fee (which is PAY FOR the cost of the date so she don't have to pay her own way or PAY HER for the time she spends with you)". They also love to play the "Tease Him and Make Him Want" or "Make Him Pay and Wait" game.

These social sites are PRIMARILY just another way for many females to keep that GAME going and pick up a few WEAK, DESPERATE FOOLS (not friends) WITH BENEFITS until "Mr. Eventually No Good" comes along. They probably PURPOSELY ignored and avoided a minimum of 10 "average joe's" for every male they claim was "no good" (which was just a better player than her) after he SPANKED DAT AZZ and tossed her into his personal DOG POUND collection.

I've been on enough of these site and experienced enought to know a few things:

1 - The very attractive females WILL NOT be on these sites,

2 - IF those very attractive females are on these sites they are seeking financially well-to-do males that will cater to their desires which most males can't afford to sustain,

3 - IF you are so lucky to catch one of those very attractive females chances are she a) has children at home and need help, b) don't have children but is financially over-extended and need help, c) has been abused physically, emotionally and/or financially by a male (or males) SHE WILLINGLY CHOSE and is looking for help UNTIL she gets back on her feet and will dump your NICE, average joe AZZ afterwards, d) her marketable value has diminished (and probably still is diminishing) due to changes in her physical appearance because of age, having child(ren), stress (that she typically brings upon herself and later blames the male), weight gain, etc. or e) a combination of a, b, c and d,

4 - Item 3 will also apply to many attractive and some average looking females as well,

5 - Females on these sites WILL BE juggling multiple males so don't EVER think you will be the only one UNLESS you are EXACTLY what she wants and she ISN'T getting the attention and types she expected to receive online,

6 - Out of the females that are online, at least 95 PERCENT females will CONTINUE to visit these sites and especially if she gets angry with your for whatever reason. Don't expect her to avoid them once she starts spending time with you. After all, you found her here didn't you so what do you expect?

7 - Your success potential will be much higher if you stick to the AVERAGE or BELOW AVERAGE looking females on those online sites that will be more considerate of and genuinely interested in you as opposed to what she can get out of you.

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IF you are attracted to a female you see, she is mutually attracted to you AND you have a personal interest in her then LIE TO HER. Talk about all of those things she expects to hear that she believes she may benefit from later on. DO NOT tell her you are going to give her something or you are going to do things for her. Talk about (NOT BRAG) those personal things you are SUPPOSED to be doing or planning on doing that sounds exciting and expensive (i.e., dining at expensive places, going to social events, plays, concerts, traveling, weekend getaways, etc). Many females will AUTOMATICALLY feel ENTITLED to those things if you are going to spend time with them. Her ENTITLEMENT ATTITUDE is her weakness and your admission ticket depending on how smooth you are with your delivery.

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IF you aren't attracted to her AND have no personal interest in her then TELL HER THE TRUTH (which is usually what they don't want to hear) because they use the truth to screen you out. The TRUTH is:

1 - You are attracted to her, you have a personal interest in getting to know her BUT you are NOT interested in (or can't) bear the financial responsibilities involved while spending time with her. In other words, you would like her to PAY HER OWN WAY.

2 - You want to tell her you are attracted to HER but that WEAVE (you know what ethnicity I'm talking about if she's wearing this type) does not match her hair texture, does nothing to enhance her, is NOT attractive and DOES NOT turn you on. You chose to remain silent or complimented her on it to minimize the possibilty of being rejected by her.

This will DEFINITELY turn away 90 percent of the females you come in contact with. If she remains AFTER you have told her the truth, then you just may have found yourself a female that is TRULY INDEPENDENT and GENUINELY INTERESTED IN YOU.

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IF you are just PURSUING POON then find yourself a female (or females) you can afford to spend your money on, PAY for what you want (don't forget to "jimmy up"), enjoy yourself but remain emotionally DETACHED, after a period of time start looking for a better bargain for your bucks and DUMP HER becaue all you have going there is a BUSINESS relationship.

IF you don't think it's a business relationship and she genuinely cares about you, ask her to start paying her own way all (not some) of the time and see how long it lasts. Yea, I know that for many of you the REALITY of that situation hurts and that's why you reamin in denial about it.

DON'T GET ANGRY at her IF SHE ultimately finds a bigger pay day and decides to DUMP YOU after a period of time. It's not personal, it's just business and that's how the GAME is played PLAYA". Unfortunately (for you, not her), you emotionally attached yourself to someone that was simply PROSTITUTING THEIR TIME.

"UNPLANNED" Pregnancy or Calculated, Scandalous, Selfish and Irresponsible Behavior?

The excerpt below was taken from an online article:

L.A. County study raises worry over unplanned pregnancies

40% of births in county were the result of accidental conception, which can endanger babies' health, according to a report by the Department of Public Health
- April 05, 2010By Molly Hennessy-Fiske

About 40% of births in Los Angeles County each year are the result of unplanned pregnancies, which can endanger the health of babies, according to a study released by the county's Department of Public Health.

The figure is based primarily on a county survey completed in 2006 of more than 5,200 women ages 13 to 56 who had recently given birth.

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MALES DON'T GET FEMALES PREGNANT

This message is intended for males because, as you will read, most females WILL NOT accept the FACT that they have total control over getting pregnant and NOT YOU.

Males don't get females pregnant, IGNORANCE (lack of knowledge) or PRE-MEDITATED INTENT by the female gets the female pregnant. UNLESS the male knows that the female is mentally disable or the females is held against her will and FORCED to conceive and have child, the female got herself pregnant. What the male did was FOOLISHLY/STUPIDLY deposit his sperm into her and contributed to the OPPORTUNITY of her getting pregnant when they have no intent on wanting to FULLY participate in raising a child. He should be wearing a condom EVERYTIME he's engaging in sex if he does not want that responsibility.

After the male deposits his sperm into the female, she has TOTAL CONTROL as to whether or not conception can occur. There are too many forms of birth control, including what I call the "Oops Pill" (Plan B Contraceptive) that will prevent contraception if taken within a specified period of time after depositing his sperm thus preventing her from getting pregnant.

Why don't females admit to having TOTAL control of conception? You would have to ask them but my guess is FOOLISH selfishness which includes but not limited to money, lifestyle upgrade, intent to trap a male, influence from others who behave in that manner, etc. Sadly, MOST females will never admit to having total control over pregnancy which means males better "Wrap It Up" or "Don't Put It In" if he suspects the female will proceed with conception if he deposits his sperm.

Unfortunately, MOST males ARE NOT mentally strong enough to address this issue with the female or wrap it up BEFORE engaging in sex and WILL PAY a handsome price with money, stress and limited personal productivity through SELF-INFLICTED pain and suffering. I'm sure all of us know at least one male that is in that position today. The female (that wants to get pregnant) will function in a pre-meditated manner by taking little or no measures to prevent it which includes SAYING NO to the male if he is NOT wearing a condom. I do not see the male as a VICTIM, I see him as a FOOL. Nowadays, there are too many cases of males ruining their lives by allowing a female to control what happens to his sperm for him to NOT wear a condom. He will FOOLISHLY risk minutes of pleasure for years of PAIN.

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Although my comment pertains to the L.A. County study, I am sure that it can apply nationwide as well (I'm going to restrict this to the USA). I believe that the percentage of unplanned births are much lower and probably in the lower single-digit percentage. Many of you won't like what I am saying because this applies to many of you and we all know how people in denial DON'T like the TRUTH.

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MY INTERPRETATION

Unplanned Pregnancy - When BOTH parties TAKE measures to prevent conception from occuring while performing the sexual act. This means the male wearing a condom and the female utilizing one of the MANY forms forms of birth control available. Even if one or the other or both fail to utilize birth control there is the "Plan B: Morning After Pill". It is the first progestin-only pill that has been approved in the U.S. for emergency contraception AFTER either unprotected sex or a contraceptive accident, such as a condom breaking.

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My reason for stating such is because MOST (not all) of those so-called unplanned pregnancies are because:

- HE did not wear a condom,
- SHE was not taking birth control,
- SHE lied to him about taking birth control,
- SHE intentionally stopped taking birth control,
- SHE did not want to apply "Plan B" after unprotected sex,
- SHE did not tell him she was not taking birth control and HE stupidly did not ask.

Whether you want to accept it or not, the examples above constitute PLANNED and/or IRRESPONSIBLE behavior. This EXCLUDES those RARE situations where both parties used protection and conception/pregnancy occurred anyway so don't get them twisted.

EXCEPT FOR the following (as a minimum), the percentage of unplanned pregnancies are extremely low or rare as opposed to the large percentage stated above:

- the INABILITY to make rational decisions (i.e., mentally unstable),
- IGNORANCE (lack of knowledge) about sex, birth control methods and the parental responsibility that results from becoming pregnant,
- HE performed a sexual act with her while she was in a deep sleep (she's gotta be REAL deep to NOT eventually become aware) or in a comatose state,
- SHE being forced to have UNprotected sex (i.e., RAPE), held against her will and monitored until she conceives and becomes pregnant,
- protection WAS used by BOTH parties and she still got pregnant.

CONCLUSION:

As you can see above, the vast MAJORITY of so-called UNplanned pregnancies CAN BE PREVENTED by the female because SHE HAS TOTAL CONTROL over conception and pregnancy except for the rare/uncommon situations described above.

The above information will disturb, anger or cause MANY readers to EMOTIONALLY ASSume that I am being harsh towards females and not place any responsibility on the male. As a matter of fact, I expect many of you to FEEL that way as oppose to thinking RATIONALLY about the potential consequences to BOTH parties as well as the CHILD if born.

That's why I conclude that the majority of so-called UNPLANNED pregnancies are actually PLANNED based on CALCULATED, SCANDALOUS, SELFISH and IRRESPONSIBLE behavior by the female. IF she DON'T want to get pregnant she will use one of several birth control methods available to her AND require that the male wear a condom.