The Older Man and a "Much" Younger Woman Controversy

I am the type of person, as you can see by my postings, that don't give a shit what someone else says about me or what I do. As long as I'm enjoying my life, respecting myself and doing 

no harm to myself, respecting others, not harming others my message to those that don't like what I say, do or have issues with this post is:

- GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN

[DISCLAIMER]

None.

[END OF DISCLAIMER]

[MESSAGE TO OLDER WOMEN]

You got your education, your job (or your business), your car, your apartment (or home), you travel to different places and I applaud you.

You were young once, you had your opportunities and you took advantage of it or should have taken advantage of it. Now it's time to move out the way just as the older women had to do when YOU were that younger woman.

If you want to play the "Cougar" role, go right on and do so. I'm not mad at you and I do know of some "Cubs" that "may" possibly love to hook up with (not commit to) you.

[MY COMMENT]

There is a combination of "Hating the Older Man Because He Has a Much Younger Woman" and "Envy of the Younger Woman Because She Is a Younger Woman" that exists.

This post came about because last night I went to this sports bar to watch the second half of Monday Night Football (no I did not watch the presidential debate).

It just so happened that this older guy came into the bar with this much younger woman (about 35 years difference in age). She appeared to be in her late 20's so you idiots can do the math. She was wearing her gear and really getting into the game. Talking trash, giving high five, etc. and I'm saying to myself, "She's cool..". 

There was a table of older (much older than her) females next to us and I could not help but notice the frown on a couple of their faces when they looked at the older man and much younger woman. Especially when she reached over and kissed him. For a while, those two females paid more attention to that couple than they did to the game.

They start talking about the couple and one of the comments (of course) was, "She just want him for his money". I had to laugh to myself because that's the same mentality that they have. They have a job and expect men to pay so what's new?

[FACT]

Living in Los Angeles, I've had the pleasure to date multi-culturally (that's different culture for the morons) and I've found a distinct difference in the "american mindset" vs the "non-american mindset" when it comes to this topic.

That american mindset of a younger woman has to do with WHAT WILL YOU GIVE ME if I am going to be with you "old man". There is very little respect for the older man by the younger woman in this culture. 

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A SIDE NOTE: There is very little respect for older people and seniors period in this american culture.
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That non-american INFLUENCED mindset of a younger woman has to do with WHAT CAN WE DO TOGETHER and LET ME LEARN FROM YOUR EXPERIENCE and WISDOM if we are going to be together. 

[PERSONAL OPINION]

I would prefer to try to develop a relationship with a younger woman:

- "with less mental/emotional baggage", 
- "that is genuinely trying to make it in life"
- "is open-minded, COOPERATIVE with that i wanna" attitude and 
- "is looking for an older man to develop a relationship with.

I would NOT prefer to try to develop a relationship with an older woman:

- "with lots of mental/emotional baggage due to HER poor choices in men", 
- "that has a good job and REFUSE to pay her own way",
- "dating younger men and comparing them to older men" and 
- "is closed-minded, UNCOOPERATIVE with that i ain't gonna" attitude.

[CAUTION]

DO NOT THINK that a young woman WON'T BURN YOU. There is the american mindset and the non-american mindset that exist so I advise you to BE VERY OBSERVANT regardless of who she is.

Taking time to get to know the non-american females is the ONLY WAY you will be able to know if she's GENUINE or CORRUPTED by "the american way". 

You should already know that MOST american females are NOT WORTH the time and effort UNLESS you are NOT trying to develop a genuine interest in them.

[TIP]

If she is non-american and MOST of her females are american (especially if they are the american NEGRO), I would say that HER value system has been compromised so you are possibly wasting your time IF you were expecting that genuine, considerate, non-american behavior.

[CONCLUSION]

Some females "may" agree, many american-minded females "will" disagree and some will even say, "I hate women", "Where are you meeting these women" or "Who chewed you up and spit you out"?

I say to them (lesbians excluded), "How many american minded females have you dated? Until you've dated them for at least 5 years on a personal, intimate level, you don't qualify to give your opinion as to how females interact with me or any other male.

I'm done so now you can attack me.....

Marriage and Divorce are both Choices

MARRIAGE is an Option not a Requirement in order to Obtain Happiness and Success. MARITAL or NON-MARITAL relationships DOES NOT guarantee you happiness. YOU guarantee YOU happiness based upon the SENSIBLE (not emotional) decisions YOU make about your life. I AM NOT anti-marriage, I AM pro-healthy relationship for both parties which applies to marital and non-marital relationships.

If there is MUTUAL happiness, co-operation and fulfillment in marriage or non-marital relationships then you have found a good situation and I suggest that you remain in it. If it is INTENTIONALLY one-sided and YOU are on the short end of it I say DIVORCE in mandatory.

Do people grow apart AFTER years of marriage? Sure they do for whatever their reasons are. Should they separate? I would say "yes" IF they cannot resolve those issues and it creates discomforts and violent or potentially violent acts. Usually that "growing apart" AFTER years of being together is based SOLELY on IMMATURITY and/or SELFISH desires.

Excluding financial reasons typically that so-called "growing apart" is PRIMARILY based upon ATTENTION (or potential attention) from the OPPOSITE SEX. What that attention is depends on each individual. It could be something as simple as being more active (doing things together) in the relationship, being more attentive to them, lost the physical attraction due to change in apperance or to engaging in an outside sexual relationship (for whatever their reasons are).

The vows are well scripted (i.e., ... to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part..."). It's a nice fairytale beginning (well at least for her) surrounded with gifts, high emotions and lots of celebrating.

Too bad those vows don't reflect realistic behavior by MOST couples in this culture we live in huh?

- Is "to have and to hold" restricted to ONLY the one they are stating those vows to or do it mean "to have and to hold you and whomever else I can as well"?

- We all can agree there would be no problems "for better" but what about "for worse"? How far will one go before they consider "for worse" to be too much to bear? What is "for worse"? Financial pressure & abuse, physical abuse, substance abuse, adultry, etc. that would cause hardships to the marriage?

- We all can agree there would be no problems "for richer" but what about "for poorer" IF you were doing reasonable well prior to that? Do you really believe that she will remain with him if HE loses or quit his job and can't find a reasonable paying job for a couple of years? Especially how this economy is these days? Especially if she has a good or high paying job and expected to place the burden of financial support solely on her paycheck (even if she can afford to do so)?

- We all can agree there would be no problems "for health" but what about "for sickness"? In addition, would he/she remain FAITHFUL during those times of sickness by the other spouse? We all know how many AREN'T faithful in times of health don't we.

WHAT IS MY POINT?

MOST marriage vows WILL NOT get into more detail regarding the conditions of that marriage because one (if not both) parties know ahead of time they are NOT going to treat that marriage in a MONOMAGOUS manner. One party usually "hopes/prays" for monogamy and the other "knows" if opportunity for an affair comes along they will take advantage of it. In many cases, there are multiple relationships going on prior to those vows that one or both knows they will attempt to continue AFTER the vows have been spoken.

SHOULD VOWS AND THE CONSEQUENCES FOR VIOLATING THEM BE STATED IN MORE DETAIL and AGREED UPON IN ADVANCE?

My response to that is yes but that would ruin the FAIRYTALE wedding. I'm sure that it would minimize the number of early marriages as well as minimize the number of divorces. One other thing, I am sure that it would minimize the number of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE cases that annually exist IF the male wasn't pressured (yea I said pressured) into getting married so early in life AND especially when both are typically TOO IMMATURE and INEXPERIENCED in life to say NO to the many temptations that exist (i.e., sexual and financial).

You have to live, enjoy, learn from and have had enough of those sexual and financial experiences such that you can NOW decide that you can say NO to the sexual and financial temptations from others that will exist. Only then will he or she be MONOGAMOUS in a marriage IF that is the intent to begin with. Otherwise, you might as well agree to an OPEN marriage.

SHOULD THE END OF THE VOW STATE, "FROM THIS DAY FORWARD UNTIL DEATH OR DIVORCE DO US PART"?
Sure but again that takes away from the "happily ever after" FAIRYTALE. Very few people want to address the "what if it don't last" because that's not how you write a fairytale script.

DO ALL MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE?

Of course not but the majority (>55 percent) of them do. I believe that they do because people marry MOST of the time for the wrong reasons (i.e., 1) got pregnant, 2) married to give child same last name, 3) pressure to marry or break up, 4) marry to keep someone else from marrying him/her, 5) marry because of parent's pressure, 6) marry because other friends got married, 7) married to get away from home, 8) married due to society's pressure, 9) marry to upgrade their lifestyle, etc.)).

What Is Wrong With YOU PEOPLE (Part 2)

Have any of you ever heard this statement: "If I want someone submissive that I can control, I'll get a pet".

DISCLAIMER (to the idiots and morons)

I don't think you will get it but go ahead and give this your best shot anyway (lol)

END OF DISCLAIMER

In some cases, I believe that I need to begin with definitions to assist in eliminating confusion or confrontation with IDIOTS and MORONS.

(Definitions)

ATTITUDE - (1) A settled way of thinking or feeling, typically reflected in a person's behavior. (2) Someone who is concieted and thinks of themselves too highly.

SUBMISSIVE - (1) One who gives over their rights, their desires, and themselves to another.  (2) Allowing others to have control over you.
(End of Definitions)

Before I begin I want to share this brief dialogue between myself and a BLACK MAN regarding a cartoon which led to me posting this.  I removed his name because it's not the name that is important, it's HIS mentality and what results from it.

(Dialogue)

(His Comment)  The attitude is exactly what I LOVE ABOUT MY SISTERS and and would not want it any other way.  If I want someone submissive that I can control, I'll get a pet.

(My Response)  Please describe to me at least three different "submissive" and "attitude" behaviors per your above comment so that I can clearly and intelligently understand how you are thinking. Thanks in advance.
‎
(His Response)  No. You don't need to know how i'm thinking.

(End of Dialogue)


MY COMMENT

There is a whole lot of confusion and misinterpretation with those two words as it applies to male and female interaction and especially with certain people.  I believe he has aligned himself with item (2) of each definition above.

In this case, definitions number (2) has become normal and accepted while number (1) has become abnormal and ridiculed by MANY of YOU PEOPLE.  I don't think I need to pull out "THE CARD" to let you know who I'm talking about.

As you can see, in the dialogue above, there is a refusal to clarify one's self when asked to do so.  You still wonder why a majority (not a minority) of a certain people are plagued with confusion and confrontation?  This is why I choose to LIMIT "my time with" and "my exposure to" people who think and behave in this manner.

Some people simply love attitude and the confusion and confrontation it produces.  Are they wrong for doing so?  Absolutely not.

I have also heard many of those same types of people say, "I love a man/woman that is a challenge" which typically means "someone that will foolishly argue with me and not do as I request".  Believe it or not, this is a MENTALITY that exists in EXTREMELY LARGE numbers with a certain group of YOU PEOPLE.

QUESTIONS (for YOU PEOPLE)

1.  How did you get to this IRRATIONAL mental state?

2.  Why would YOU consider someone to be submissive (as defined in number (2)) simply because they listen to you and do as you request (not demand)?

3.  Why do YOU consider someone that RESPECTS YOU and HONORS your request to be someone you are controlling?

4.  Why do YOU consider someone that RESPECTS YOU and HONORS your request to be a "pet"?

5.  Why would YOU not want someone in your life that listens, RESPECTS YOU and HONORS your request?

6.  Did you ever think that person submitting to YOU does so because they realize that YOUR REQUEST makes sense so they comply?

7.  Why would you want someone that is a so-called "challenge" to you?  Don't you have enough sense to make YOUR career or YOUR ability to learn and improve the quality of your life enough of a challenge? 


CONCLUSION

You still wonder why I have made a conscious decision to avoid many of YOU PEOPLE and especially females with ATTITUDE?

We all have the right to choose how we think, how we behave and the people we want to associate with as long as it is legal whether it makes RATIONAL sense or not.

Do you perfer "HER bad attitude and confrontation" over "HER cooperation and submission"?

I'm interested in your comments so, "Let's Talk About It..."

Never Get Personally Involved with a FixHerUpper Thinking that will eventually Improve the Quality of your Life

Rule #8:  Never Get Personally Involved with a FixHerUpper Thinking that will eventually Improve the Quality of Your Life

(Excerpt from "The Good Man's Survival Guide - Rules of Engagement")

Males have ruined their lives getting personally involved with what I call FixHerUppers.  They are unstable females that are riddled with emotional, financial and physical problems. 

The good man foolishly believes if he comes to her aid it will secure a relationship with her and eventually make his life better having her around. 

The truth of the matter is that in most cases it will not improve his lifestyle but rather bring a burden into his lifestyle and improve the quality of her life while she dumps her responsibilities, burdens and attitude onto him. 

Response:

Never reduce your quality of life by allowing a trouble-some female into your personal life and don’t allow her or her problems to move in with you.  If you are going to allow her into your social life then do so at an emotional distance.  Being social is fine as long as you are in control, not getting emotionally involved, not paying her way or helping her with her financial responsibilities. 

The moment that you begin to lose control or foolishly think of giving up that control; it’s time to toss in the towel and get out of that ring.

Reason:

You, in most cases, are simply a means to putting an end to her burdens and responsibilities.  She will generally cater to you or allow you to spend time with her in order to get you to bring her into your comfortable lifestyle.  Once she’s gotten in and you have relaxed she will place her burdens and responsibilities on you and probably cut back or quit doing the things she did initially to trick you into making that stupid decision. 

Once you have relieved her burdens you will no longer be of any use to her and she will either take total control of your life or dump you and move on.  That move is usually to an ex or someone that she has been seeing while with you.  If she had not been seeing anyone she will move on to be available to have men cater to her until THE ONE comes along that she will submit to that she knew all along definitely wasn’t you.