Monday, June 28, 2010

Relationships Aren't Difficult but Living In Denial About YOUR Relationship Certainly Is

Ever hear someone say, "Relationships are difficult"?

Husbands/Boyfriends will say it. Wives/Girlfriends will say it. Same sex couples will say it. I'm here to shed some enlightenment and point out some things that WE already know that YOU refuse to accept which is why I gave it the above title.

Let's be clear before I begin that I am speaking of personal, intimate relationships and not business or social relationships that also exist and in many cases difficult or hard to maintain as well for various reasons.

In this case, relationships apply to marital and non-marital situations.


- Relationships ARE NOT difficult or hard to maintain. Pretending YOUR relationship is all that you want others to believe is hard to maintain

- The REALITY of the other person's UNFAVORABLE behavior is difficult because YOU want to PRETEND or HIDE the fact from others that it does not exist

- YOU don't want to accept the fact that YOU CHOSE to have a relationship, marriage, family with someone who's COMPLETE behavior does not reflect that which you would like to have and talk to others about REGARDLESS of how responsible they may be in other areas of that relationship

- The difficulty in that relationship is YOUR refusal to accept the REALITY of that person's behavior

TYPICAL EXAMPLES (does not apply to all and may apply to both male and female as well):

- DESIRE to have outside relationships

- ATTEMPTS at having outside relationships

- HAVING outside relationships

- KNOWING (not suspecting or hearing rumors) that YOUR mate is having or have had one or multiple outside relationship(s) and YOU CHOOSING to remain in that relationship

- EVIDENCE (not assumptions or rumors) that your mate has lied to you on one or many occasions

- KNOWING your mate has pornographic material or viewing pornographic websites and YOU don't approve of that behavior

- Not spending enough DESIRED entertainment and quality time with mate

- Not making enough MONEY to provide mate with the things mate DESIRES

- INTENTIONAL or UNINTENTIONAL poor management of finances and expecting your mate to rescue you

- YOU ALLOWING YOUR or THEY ALLOWING THEIR outside influences (including family) to disrupt the relationship

- INSECURITIES and desire to have constant attention from mate or others in order to satisfy those insecurities

The above examples, and I am sure many more, can be reasons which causes YOU to think that relationships are difficult.


- LOVE yourself and YOUR peace-of-mind MORE than that PRETENTIOUS IMAGE of a relationship,

- LOVE yourself and YOUR peace-of-mind MORE than simply being in that DIFFICULT relationship (as you refer to it) for the sake of just being in a relationship,

- GET OUT of YOUR difficult relationship and make a WISER CHOISE for the next relationship, or

- ACCEPT that DIFFICULT relationship YOU CHOSE to be in and SHUT UP