Wednesday, December 15, 2010

What's Wrong With YOU PEOPLE (Part 1)

This situation can be applied to any individuals regardless of gender.

I received a call from female #1 that I know, asking my advice, about female #2 (we both know) that called her whining that her utilities were about to be cut off and wanted female #1 to GIVE (yep, she did not say loan even if that's what she meant) her some money to prevent her utilities from being cut off. OMG!! You know I had to seize the opportunity (lol).

Before I begin, let me provide some information on both. I have known both of these females for over 15 years so please save the, "You don't know her(me)" nonsense, ok?

Female #1 - Single, divorced, employed, no college degree, has certified training, 1 adult child, living at home alone and has no cable television.

Female #2 - Single, divorced, unemployed, no college degree, has no certified training, 4 adult children (2 sons, 2 daughters all employed), living at home with one of her daughters and has the full compliment of cable television.

It amuses me when you find certain people who DON'T want you in THEIR business but they DO want YOU to help them PAY for their business THEY SCREWED UP when they are in financial debt. So what's wrong with this picture?

Female #2 has communicated with female #1 only two times in the past 2 years and that was only when they met at two different mutual friends funerals. Female #2 has never taken the time to call and simply say, "Hello, just called to see how you are doing". Now, female #2 takes time to call female #1 when she is in need. I told her to DON'T give her a penny and here are my reasons for you beggars and inconsiderate people out there that will have a problem with what I am about to say:

1. SHE is inconsiderate of YOU as indicated such by the lack of genuine communication and concern for your well-being over the years (Remember that she had your number all of this time),

2. SHE is enjoying the convenience (not need) of cable tv and if you pay totally or partially that utilitiy bill you are contributing to HER irresponsible, financial management behavior,

3. HER priorities are obviously screwed up and she knows there are people out there, like YOU, that may come to her aid (that is, unless people like me talk to you first),

4. SHE has 2 adult sons and 2 adult daughters that are employed,

5. The home that she is living in is PAID for and has been for over 10 years. The husband made sure of that after he divorced her and left her a house and car that was paid for which means the only financial OBLIGATION is property taxes, utilities and maintenance. Everything else that she chooses are OPTIONS and not OBLIGATIONS,

6. HER grown children should be the ones she calls for financial help,

7. SHE has a daughter living with her that has a very good job (or at least that's what she braggs about) that is not paying a mortgage or rent since she is also living in that paid for home.

I will stop here because I could go on and on. So what's my point? If that's your question, then you are just as inconsiderate as female #2 is and I need not go any further with you. For the rest of you, this is a clear case of (just to mention a few):

1. Irresponsible - Not putting priorities where it matters as opposed to where SHE selfishly thinks it matters. Oh yea, if she received the notice of having her utilities cut off she had known for at least 2 months that she had not paid her bill. I'm willing to wager that her CABLE was not about to be cut off),

2. Poor Parenting - Didn't raise her children in a manner that would enable her to go to them IF needed,

3. Inconsiderate of Others - She calls female #1 ONLY when in need,

4. Looking for Sympathy and a Hand Out - She has no children to financially support, the youngest has been an adult for at least 5 years and she has CHOSEN to not continue her education or acquire job training.


I have had 1st, 2nd and a couple of 3rd degree burns, in my past, when it came to lending money to people inside and outside of my so-called family. I can freely say that I have probably been paid back about 20 percent of the money I have loaned to people. Am I angry at them? I was at one time regarding the 3rd degree financial burns. What I have learned is that anger improperly placed will NOT prevent you from getting burned again. It will simply make you angrier the next time you get burned because you will not have changed YOUR behavior and you certainly WILL increase your chances of getting burned again (lol).

What I have LEARNED to do is treat EVERY potential borrower that has NOT CONSISTENTLY proven themselves over a period of time to be worth of borrowing MY money or possessions like a BUSINESS transaction. I don't care if it's money or material items. You have to QUALIFY before I CONSIDER loaning you money or anything of my possession. I am going to get in YOUR business if YOU want to get any of my business (money or material possessions). I have learned to be VERY SELFISH and PROTECTIVE when it comes to those monies or possessions that I have EARNED by working and sacrificing for.

Here is what I do to people when they ask me to borrow money or any of my material possessions. This will SUCCESSFULLY turn away 100 percent of those that had no intentions of paying you back totally or partially or those that can't pay you back. It has worked for me and will work for you. ALL (not some) of these questions have to be YES or you should not extend yourself for that person.

1. I need to know if you are living financially responsible and have the ability to pay me back BEFORE I consider financially helping you which mean I want to know what your other financial obligations are and what your present income is,

2. Can you replace or pay me the FULL value of those possessions you borrow from me within 3 days if it's damaged, stolen or destroyed?

3. What can you put us as COLLATERAL that's worth at least twice as much as the item(s) you want to borrow from me?

4. Will you sign an agreement to pay me back within an agreed upon period of time or allow me to take full possession of whatever that collateral is to do with as I wish?

If they CLAIM they will pay you back but DON'T want to agree to items 1 - 4 above then I suggest they take their possessions of value to a pawn shop and work some agreement with them.


Many have referred to me as mean and selfish. If I am considered mean because I WON'T accept someone else's laziness or feelings of entitlement to MY possessions then consider me to be a MEAN MO' FO'. As far as selfish is concerned there are, in my opinion, two types of selfishness:

Selfish #1. YOU want something for SELF, YOU sacrifice the time and effort to provide something for YOU,

Selfish #2. YOU want something for SELF, YOU expect others to sacrifice their time and effort to provide something for YOU.

I STRONGLY support and advise everyone to suscribe to Selfish #1 and I will NEVER back away from that position. We should all be selfish as it applies to Selfish #1 behavior.


  1. it makes sense to me.Can call me selfish or whatever. i will not b burn again:)

  2. This is definitely the way I am going to begin the new year. I would have people make me feel guilty about not helping them in their time of need. This way, I can take a much closer look at their spending before I make a decision like that. Oh yea, I've been burned a few times as well. I will tell my other friends to checkout this blog.

  3. I know how women can be when it comes to not paying back money or borrowing clothes, messing them up and not paying to replace the item. I have girlfriends that I know I would not loan them money or any of my possessions. You see, women to it to other women just as much as they do it to men. I would trust loaning money or my possessions to a man before I would another woman.

  4. Good advice. I've been burned so many times by women I don't know if I have any flesh left to burn. I am going to take your advice and read some of your other blogs.

  5. So what about a woman with children that truly needs help because she can't afford what is needed? Are you going deny her if she comes to you for help?

  6. I would advise her to seek the local "Pulpit Pimp Houses" (i.e., churches) or the "Salvation Army". After all, isn't that what those establishments are there for? My purpose is to INFORM males and female so they don't end up like those needy males and females that already exist. If they WILLINGLY choose that path AFTER BEING INFORMED I say, "Don't come knocking on my door".