Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Female Version of "Friends with Benefits"

I have created this particular blog based upon conversations I've heard and postings I've seen on several social site profiles of females. Many of them will state, "I'm not interested in a relationship now and I'm just looking for a friend to do things with" or "I'm not interested in men that are looking for a friend with benefits".

I sometimes like to begin with defining certains words to get a clear understanding in attempts to minimize or eliminate confusion and meaningless confrontation. I realize that there are IDIOTS out there that regardless of how much clarity you bring forth they will always bring about meaningless confrontation. That's a given so let me continue for those SENSIBLE people who will be reading this blog.


The average, everyday Joe and NOT the bad boy, thuggish, baller or pretty boy types.


A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual relations.


An advantage or profit gained from something.


Two friends who have a sexual realtionship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogomous relationship or any kind of commitment.

**BREAKING NEWS FLASH** - Scientists have now made 2 remarkable discoveries:

- The male mouse has a defective gene in his brain that MAY cause him to behave in a STUPID, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE, SUBMISSIVE or ABUSIVE manner when interacting with female mice he is attracted to,

- SEX is not the only benefit that can be derived from friends with benefits.


Now that I've defined 4 key words/phrases let me continue. I can and do respect a female's wishes to NOT engage in sexual activity and just be friends. I'm not one of those desperate, deprived, always-in-heat, gotta-put-that-notch-on-my-belt type males that feel the need to "hit it" just because I'm with you. Yes there are males that exist with that mentality and I have no problem stating such but that's not me nor my point.

My point is those female that like to put that "no friends with benefits here" sign in some males faces yet they selfishly play that GAME and expect to benefit from it.

Let me list a few other benefits that can come about due to HER ALLOWING HIM to be her friend:

1. HE paying her way when they go places
2. HE doing little favors when she needs help
3. HE doing physical things that she can't or don't want to do
4. HE listening to her talk about things when he really isn't in the mood to listen
5. HE taking her places or go places with her that she feels uncomfortable going to alone or just don't want to go alone

The above brief list are ALL BENEFITS that she can potentially receive while holding that "I'm not gonna be your friend with benefits" sign in his face. Oh yea, here's another:

6. SHE receiving sex when SHE desires it from him eventhough SHE stipulated she will NOT be "friends with benefits"

I don't see anything wrong with HIM receiving the first five benefits IF she is going to receive them. Afterall, shouldn't FRIENDSHIP behavior go both ways? Yea, right (LOL).

UNFORTUNATELY, most males are WEAK (when it comes to interacting with a female he is attracted to) and will do STUPID things in HOPES of being rewarded with sex, receiving continual time with her or getting into a relationship as a reward for doing those "friends with benefits" items that, in most cases, SHE WILL NOT REFUSE and in many cases SHE EXPECT to receive.

Q & A

Q1. Will most males continue to foolishly do the above things eventhough she's indicated "friends with no benefits"?
A1. Absolutely. Males are conditioned to do and simply "HOPE for the best".

Q2. Will many females continue to expect the male to do those things regardless of her claims to "friends with no benefits"?
A2. Absolutely. Many females are conditioned to de-value a male by expecting him to EARN the right to be accepted by her.

Q3. Will many female STOP playing the female game version of "friends with benefits" after reading this blog?
A3. Of course not and why should they. It benefits them too much to give it up and there are plenty of FOOLish males available to cater to them in that manner.

Q4. If many females won't stop expecting to receive, what is your point posting this blog?
A4. My point is to make males aware that IF she places that "I'm NOT gonna be a friend with benefits" expectation on him he should accept as long as she accepts his response of "I'm not gonna be a friend with benefits (as stated above) for you either" and then see just how much of a friend she really is going to be. Unfortunately, most males will continue to behave in the manner of Answer #1 but if I can get a few males to change then I've done a good thing.


  1. Man, you just earned a follower. You're on-point.

  2. I just read this post and I think he is an a-hole. That's not benefits that is simply being a real man and a friend. Real men don't ask from a woman they give to a woman. God made the man the provider and care taker and his woman is supposed to be the receiver and his help mate. Obviously you are not a man of God. As I have said before you are an a-hole.

  3. First, this woman is calling you nasty names based on her ignorance and hear-say of the bible not what the anyone may go to its pages and read for themselves - what a shame;

    Second, God did not make the man a provider or a protector, the woman was completely free as was the man - the woman was completely free to screw up everything for herself and the man as the record records her doing.

    Moreover, the woman also only had to reach up and pluck the [right] friuit to satisfy her hunger and God was the proctector via his delivered commandment to Adam & Eve.

    Per the account of Eve with the serpent (Satan), the woman allowed herself to be attracted to the WEIRD AND IMPOSSIBLE. She chose to follow a freak of nature and her expectation of being God was downright foolish!

    It is impossible for a created being to become the UNcreated Creator!