Saturday, January 31, 2009

Never Allow Her to Place You in Her Fan Club

There are some males that WERE BORN to be a fan. There are some males that HAVE EVOLVED into a fan. There are some males that ARE NO LONGER a fan. There are some males that WERE NEVER a fan. I am one of those males that ARE NO LONGER a fan. What about you? Remember that a female won't voluntarily ask you to be HER FAN. Males, unfortunately, are socialized to volunteered to become a female's fan based upon that out-dated, socialized mentality of a "Male having to prove his worthiness to a female BEFORE she accepts and caters to him". Nowadays, SHE ACCEPTS him and HE CATERS to her.

The male fan to her is the same as a fan is to an entertainer. He is there ONLY to give her attention, PAY to see her, listen to her when needed, make her feel good about herself and stroke her ego. This FAN GAME is something that females will play time and time again due to the internet and the proliferation of online dating sites. Females are increasing their FAN CLUB base with a host of foolish, insecure, desperate, lonely and low self-esteem males. DON'T HATE ON ME if that is your behavior, simply change your behavior to a manner that will BENEFIT YOU FIRST and NOT HER.

Here is a brief email to a female. If I was insecure, lonely with low self-esteem I would have felt good that this female gave me the opportunity to VOLUNTEER to be ONE of her FANS. Since I am NOT one of those low self-esteem males I decided to do what was best for ME. For some reason, many of those low self-esteem males feel as if they cannot pass up an opportunity once a female ALLOWS him into her space. It's as if he feels it's his LAST and ONLY chance at being with a female so he surrenders his dignity and volunteers to become one of HER FANS.

Let me set the scene for you first. We talked on a Tuesday, had a pleasant conversation and she indicated she wanted to get together for a drink on the weekend. I told her my schedule and asked her to get back to me no later than Thurdsay evening. She agreed to do so. I did not hear from her so I dropped her an email Friday morning requesting she contact me with my phone number in it. No response on Friday so I went into Plan B so that I would enjoy my weekend. No contact by Tuesday of the following week so I left her a voice message on her phone. No response that week. Yea, I know what you are thinking... "She isn't interested any longer and you should know that by her lack of contacting you". I know this but I am doing it to prove a point of how inconsiderate many females can be to polite, considerate and respectful behaving males as well as support my "New Phone Rules" stated in one of my other blogs. Yes, she is crude, rude and inconsiderate for not getting back to me but this is going out to those males that would feel heart-broken or angry because of it. I know better and just sharing information for other males out there.

From: jduval
To: her username removed
Sent: Friday, 30 January 2009, 08:19 PM
Subject: Good Intentions..... No Delivery

Hello ,

I guess I was going to call you back but I am the type of person that deals with reality. I did like your effort, in the beginning, and the fact that you gave me the correct number and even stated that you wanted to call me, in your email, which you only did once and it appeared to be a pleasant conversation. I like what I saw and enjoyed the first conversation but obviously that is all it was to be based solely on your lack of returning my calls.

Fortunately, for me, I am not seeking to volunteer to be a part of your FAN CLUB. That dubious honor is reserved for the low self-esteem, lonely or desperate types of males that are quite plentiful. I am not seeking membership at this point in my life.

There is a test I use to validate a females lack of interest and I want to say, “Congratulations, you passed the test with flying colors”.

I will now discontinue my futile efforts in trying to catch up with you and will leave any further efforts, if any, on your part. Go ahead and do what you feel you must do here and contact me later on when you know that you want to see me, that you will put forth some effort doing so and have the time (desire really) to communicate in a manner that is BENEFICIAL to me as well. I don’t stroke a female’s ego unless I receive IMMEDIATE (not hopeful) benefits. What usually happens is that because there are so many men trying to sell their goods (or dogs chasing), women become overwhelmed by it and feel as if they don't have to listen to my "straight" talk, so I usually will not hear from those types again or they will contact me just to have THE LAST WORD. So now let's see what direction you will pursue.

Obviously you are at one or a few places at this point in time as it pertains to communication WITH ME.

- 1) You ARE very busy and don't have time to communicate, which you should have shown me enough consideration to state such, and just have time to sign on here and read your email, or

- 2) You initially may have had an interest and changed your mind for whatever reason which again you have the right to do which I can respectfully accept but again shown some consideration and let the other person know (it's a form of respect), or

- 3) You initially may have had an interest but a potentially better offer or offers, in your mind, came along. I'm ok with that and understand the "Theory of ROTATION and UPGRADE" and how it affects many females that get lots of attention. If you have too many choices you typically end up not choosing at all and keeping all of them or eventually making a poor choice.

I am quite experienced and skilled when it comes to pursuing a female (i.e., the dog chase GAME). I can become that dog even though most women want us to change that irresponsible, doglike manner afterwards but you can’t have it BOTH WAYS with the same man. ACCEPT THE DOG, the pursuit and the behavior that comes with it or VALUE THE MAN, show him some respect and put forth some genuine effort as well. After all, what else is a man supposed to do if a woman expects him to behave like a dog and pursue her but act like a dog one he catches her?

Male dogs pursue FEMALE DOGS, get what they want and continue with another pursuit. Mature men simply attempt to sensibly communicate and state an interest in getting to know a woman.

I understand that there is more excitement for the FEMALE on the front end of that pursuit "thing" just as, most of the time, there is even more pain on the back end after the dog is gone.

I prefer to NOT participate in the pursuit at this point in time and RESPECTFULLY request the right to BEHAVE LIKE A DOG and PURSUE YOU at some other point in time.

I sincerely wish you much success in your personal and professional endeavors.
I hope that you receive this message in the informative manner that it was intended.

If you develop an interest, get back to me and see where my interests are regarding you.


From: her username removed
Sent: Friday, 30 January 2009, 09:13 PM
Subject: RE: Good Intentions..... No Delivery

wow, how old are you? if you don't mind me asking.


To: her username removed
Sent: Saturday, 31 January 2009, 08:35 AM
Subject: RE: Good Intentions..... No Delivery

Funny how an email like this will get an immediate response yet simple phone calls and other types of email don't get immediate responses. That in itself tells me a whole lot. I am aware that during the pursuit GAME there is very little sensible and intelligent communication and that you may receive this email in a negative manner. That does not mean I should CHANGE the way I communicate, it simply means that females need to CHANGE the way they expect a man to communicate with them so that it is in a sensible, respectful, informative and intelligent manner.

I don't mind you asking "the age questions” but what I find interesting is why didn't you ask before. Typically, a female will ask that question so that they can use it as justification to issue that Termination Notice. I'm sure you are familiar with it and might have used it before. It's when you respond with, "blah, blah, blah..." in your email or phone call and end it with “I wish you the best and God bless” (we both know how that game goes). Well, I am not stupid enough to assist in writing my own termination notice. You will have to do that on your own (smile).

If there is no genuine interest and trust me when I say I am not here trying to collect a bunch of online acquaintances because I don't call people friends that are local to me that I cannot talk to or see physically. If your intent was to have me as a FAN then let me say, "Thank you for the GRACIOUS OFFER TO ALLOW ME to be in you FAN CLUB but I will have to refuse the offer and I am sure that you will find suitable replacements".

I saw, I liked, I made you aware of my interest in getting to know you and I've tried. That is all that a sensible, mature male that has high self-esteem and dignity should do. I don't care to bounce back and forth with email since you were too busy to communicate with me before through email or phone, why not go ahead and continue whatever it is that kept you so busy before and when (if) you ever have time with genuine intent and not to just have the last word, feel free to get back to me and see if I am still interested, ok?

Instead of saying what most females will say in situations like this which is, "Have a Good Life" (which they really don't mean), I am going to simply say, "Enjoy Your Day"!

1 comment:

  1. I know that I have been a fan of a couple of women that I had tried to get closer to. I guess that it is time for me to turn in my membership. Thanks for the information Mr. Duval and keep us informed.