Tuesday, January 20, 2009

How Does a Man or Woman Know if They are Good or Bad in Bed?

This question was requested by a friend of mine to be posted here with my response. I have responded from my male perspective. I am not claiming this to be the opinion of all males but I'm sure that many will agree with me.

For The Male:

This is a case-by-case matter but I will attempt to speak in general terms. The female's level of attractiveness (which depends upon each man's preference and what he is seeking), the amount of attention that she receives and the amount of (or number of) sexual partners will play a major role. If she is moderately to very attractive, receives lots of attention and has sex whenever she wants to then she is ALWAYS comparing one sex partner to the other or will compare YOU to that one sex partner that she has. It may not be a matter of if you are good in bed as opposed to if you are BETTER than the other (or others) that she is having sex with now are have had in the past. I have constantly stated that if most females have options, when it comes to males, they tend to not make a choice because they want it all or they end up making the wrong choice in males. Why? The answer to that question is simple, "Just like a child typically will not make a decision as to which toy they want in the toy store because they are either UNSURE or SELFISH and don't want to leave any of them behind for another child, so is the mentality of many females when it comes to choosing one out of a selection of males".

One way for the man to know if he was good in bed is how she treats him, how patient she is with him, how often she WANTS to see him and/or how often she communicates with him AFTER the sexual experience. Unless a male has wealth and/or the ability to provide her with a lavish and financially comfortable lifestyle, her level of treatment, her level of patience, her desire to see him and her communication with him will diminish slowly or immediately if the sexual performance is not satisfying to her.

For The Female:

You will have to ask a female since I do not engage in sexual activity with another male.

My personal opinion and what I've heard other males say is that many females go through sexual cycles. Cycle 1: In the teen thru late 20 years they are very sexual and experimental. They usually seek males their own age or a maximum of 5 years older. Cycle 2: If she is in her 30's through her early 40's and have had a child or two, sex becomes a tool of manipulation and frustration rather than physical pleasure and enjoyment. They usually seek males at least 10 years older or more for financial support. Cycle 3: From the early 40's into their early 50's they cycle back into that sexual and expermental mode (i.e., Cougars is the latest term used) seeking younger males with more stamina to satisfy their sexual desire. They usually seek males 10 years younger or more.

After a female gets to a certain point in life, if she hasn't prepared herself properly through education, working for an extended period of time to build some sort of retirement or savings (rather than working and manipulating men's finances, having babies or annuities as I call them, partying when they are younger and living irresponsibly & financially foolish) the NEED for companionship and financial support becomes a greater priority than sex so she may do whatever he desires sexually and PRETEND to be sexually satisfied to stroke the male's EGO and hopefully have him provide her that NEEDED or DESIRED companionship or finance. In those cases, sex by her is just a means (not desire) to obtain some form of perceived financial security.

1 comment:

  1. I was in a relationship with a woman that had 2 children and was struggling financially. In the beginning the sex was satisfying and regular. I thought that I was satisfying her sexually but after I helped get her out of that financial bind she would say that she was too busy or too tired for sex. I began to wonder if her having regular sex with me was because of the pleasure she was receiving or because she want me to continue to support her financially. Let me say that as her financial stress was minimized so was the contact and the amount of sex between the two of us. I have no intention on wasting my time with broke or financially struggling women again.