Monday, February 8, 2010

The 3A's - Attractive, Abused and/or Alone


- I AM that average joe and I stake NO CLAIMS to the 3H's which are HOT, HANDSOME or HO' so save your comments like, "How hot does he think he is"? or "Does he think he's God's gift"? or "He's nothing but a Ho",

- I AM NOT angry or bitter at very attractive females due to their "lack of desire for" or "lack of attraction to" us average joe's,

- I AM NOT angry and will not use words with the intent of causing pain. INSTEAD, I will use TRUTH and REALITY which cuts even deeper and causes more pain for those in denial,

- DOGS, ABUSERS, THUGS, BAD BOYS, PRETTY BOYS WITH ATTITUDE or whatever else you want to refer to them as are a NECESSARY EVIL and the counter-weight to the AVERAGE JOE. Those HARD types were created to BREAKDOWN and TRANSFORM those egotistical, ungrateful, inconsiderate, entitlement-minded, unreasonable expectation VERY ATTRACTIVE females and PREPARE them for the AVERAGE JOE. MOST average joe's will NEVER have the courage, fortitude or BALLS to do even the slightest things that the hard types will do to those very attractive females. For EVERY average joe that you see with a very attractive female, at least 80 percent of those females have been PAID FOR, USED, ABUSED, DOGGED, BANGED OUT, KNOCKED UP and TOSSED ASIDE at least once.

Over the years I have met and dated what I refer to as COMMERCIALLY very attractive females that have gone through what I call THE TRANSFORMATION. The transformation is one or a series of ABUSIVE physical, emotional and/or financial relationships that SHE CHOSE to be in that has caused her to re-evaluate HER VALUE SYSTEM and PRIORITIES in life. If she is very attractive, single and you hear any of the phrases below, she is NOW going through or has gone through THE TRANSFORMATION and may POSSIBLY be ready for a MUTUALLY loving relationship with THE AVERAGE JOE:

- I want a God-fearing man,

- I want a man that loves the Lord,

- I want a man that attends church regularly,

- I am looking for a mature man (Translation: they intially wanted an entertainer, a clown that immature someone that lives a spontaneous, carefree lifestyle. Now when SHE wants to get serious or have gotten KNOCKED UP by him she can't seem to change that entertainer, clown or immature man into a serious responsible man,

- I don't want a man who focuses on the physical (Translation: they have used their physical attractiveness in their past and it eventually got many of them into an abusive relationship),

- I want a man that will love me and my children (Translation: they don't mention financially supporting her children but you know that's included),

- I don't have time to play games (Translation: she's played games as long as it had benefitted her but the last few games she was a part of was played ON HER and she LOST, now getting older and her marketable value may be diminishing she's now considers herself to be done with games),

These females are referred to as the PHYSICALLY very attractive and they have been accustomed to receiving more attention, MORE ABUSE, more material offers and a better lifestyle upgrade than the average and below average looking female. As a matter of fact, they are accustomed to receiving with little or no effort on their part. The majority of these types of females EXPECT to receive more and experience a better lifestyle than their average female friends or the average female period but, in most cases, would never state so publically. These same female types are conditioned to NOT ACCEPT the average joe for more than:

- someone to help them when needed,
- someone to talk to when they are bored,
- someone to console them when they are emotionally down, or
- someone to kill time with and usually at joe's expense most of the time.

Do I hate or despise these types for thinking that way OR rejecting us average joe's? Absolutely not because they have the RIGHT of CHOICE and their choice should be respected. Are there average joe's that do hate or despise them for rejecting them? Yes there are MANY but that's not my burden or problem.

Usually, the only time those types of females will put out money to pay their way with joe is when they ABSOLUTELY don't want joe to get any ideas about them becoming a couple or have joe expecting to get what he wants in return (which they won't give him anyway). Bear with me because I have to say all of this to make a point later on.

Here is where I may anger many females but what the heck. I am not one to sugar coat reality. There are two categories of very attractive, 1) COMMERCIAL and 2) MENTAL.

1) COMMERCIAL - The ones that standout in a crowd and I am not speaking about because they are taller, larger or have that big ass. I am speaking about the ones that get the CONSISTENT offers of expensive cars, clothes, jewlery, move in to the big homes, take the trips, expensive dining, marriage proposals, do not have to work, live a financially IRRESPONSIBLE lifestyle that's supported by males, etc. These are the ones that usually have that smooth skin, symmetrical facial and body features, proportionate body shape with definition (small waist and no protruding gut) and don't have that big ass. I'm not saying a big ass is negative. I'm saying most of the big asses WON'T be attached to the commercial types because it has no TRUE MARKETABLE VALUE beyond an occasional spanking (not marrying) for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY in the eyes of the more SUCCESSFUL males in this enviornment we live in.

2) MENTAL - The ones that THINK they are very attractive for the purpose of uplifting their own self-esteem and are usually average to below average looking, overweight, thick, fat and will have that big ass and/or breasts that they flaunt to attract males. These types (especially with the big ass and big breasts) are considered to be very attrictive by some average and many HORNY, lesser successful, unemployed and/or no potential males. These mental types will typically get similar offers as the commerical ones but at a significantly lower value and usually by the struggling joe, average joe or the "just above" average joe. Hey there's someone for everyone and that's the beauty of diversity.

Now that I have distinguished between the two types of very attractive we can dump the mental ones and focus on my point about the commercial ones. I have found that many of the commercial females WILL NOT be flexible and value the average joe UNTIL they have been ABUSED physically, emotionally and/or financially by males that:

- don't give a crap about them,
- see them as a trophy to flaunt,
- ballers and males with well-to-do financial means,
- they have ALLOWED to knock them up and have an uncontrollable emotional bond,
- they consider hot, very handsome, pretty and would make great trophies together,
- will provide them the lifestyle (along with knocking them up) they are expecting to receive FOR YEARS.

During this time of receiving, MANY of those female types will consider THEIR physical appearance and HIS financial status to be the glue to acquiring and maintaining that upgrade in lifestyle she expects to receive. RELIGIOUSLY SPEAKING, (what? if you didn't think I was going to go there then you really don't know me) I have found MANY of them have gotten closer to GOD AFTER they have gotten that LIFESTYLE UPGRADE or AFTER the ABUSE is over and they are alone raising their children.


- There ARE NOT enough WEALTHY males out there to match the number of very attractive females so many of them will have to ABANDON their FANTASY and work with us average joe's, become that BOOTY CALL MISTRESSES or PURCHASE a PET and live with it as their COMPANION for the remainder of their years,
- Some, NOT MANY, will have been transformed AFTER THE ABUSE such that they will truly be able to VALUE the qualities in the average joe,
- Some, NOT MANY, will begin to think how they can CONTRIBUTE to a relationship with more than their EGO and LOOKS,
- Some, NOT MANY, will actually FALL IN LOVE and live happily and peacefully ever after with the average joe.


- These female types CHOOSE to avoid the average joe and go for the brass ring so the risk they take and the rewards or damage they receive is due to THEIR CHOICES and they should GIVE CREDIT TO themselves or BLAME NO ONE ELSE but themselves although they WILL give credit to GOD for hitting the relationship lottery (so they think at that time). Following that logic, I guess GOD created the ABUSERS to TRANSFORM these female types so that they would eventually see VALUE in the average joe,
- After MANY of these females will have been given this lifestyle upgrade, ABUSED during that upgrade and divorced (or simply toss aside as the ex-mistress) they will be TOO DAMAGED for any healthy relationship with the average joe,
- I would consider many of them to be RELATIONSHIP REJECTS waiting to be RECALLED back to that or another material and EVENTUAL ABUSIVE/DYSFUNCTIONAL relationship due to their EMOTIONAL STATE and ATTITUDE and the best that many of them will be is PLAYER FOOD (as a friend of mine once said),
- MANY of them will still not have learned their lesson and will continue to REJECT the average joe OR they will accept joe under THEIR TERMS and WILL NOT cater to joe as they did in their previously abusive relationship(s).


- There are UNDAMAGED, attractive (not very attractive) and LOVING females out there. You DON'T have to sacrifice and go out of your way trying to REHAB or FINANCIALLY SUPPORT one of those VERY attractive, DAMAGED females ASSuming she will be yours afterwards,
- USE WISDOM (not emotions) and place just as much emphasis on a female's GENUINE INTEREST and BEHAVIOR TOWARDS YOU as you do on HER PHYSICAL APPEARANCE,
- DON'T ASSume just because she's ALLOWING you into her space that she is genuinely interested in you,
- Approach those types with caution because I know most of you will become weak due to her attractiveness,
- DO NOT put forth any more effort for her than she puts out for you, and
- If you FOOLISHLY proceed without caution, she hooks you emotionally, drains you emotionally & financially and moves on, DON'T BLAME HER, blame YOURSELF.,
- LASTLY, the next time you come in contact with one of those very attractive, single, 40+ females I hope that BEFORE you put forth any effort towards her you will ask yourself, "HAS SHE BEEN TRANSFORMED"?


Sadly at least half of you are 1) DATING a man that's in a MARITAL or NON-MARITAL (supposed-to-be) monogamous relationship HOPING you will eventually be his one and only, 2) ALLOWING joe's to spend time with you UNTIL your eventual DOG or ABUSER comes along, 3) WAITING on the sidelines and OVERLOOKING decent men for a PARTICULAR man, 4) In a DEAD-END relationship hoping it goes where YOU want it to go and/or 5) Have been DOGGED and ABUSED so the following will apply. YOU:

- YOU WILL NOT change your expectations
- YOU WILL REMAIN in those types of relations
- YOU WILL wait for or RETURN to a past abuser
- YOU WILL continue to select males that will ABUSE YOU
- YOU WILL USE or ATTEMPT TO USE a joe as your platonic friend
- YOU WILL waste your years away and eventually realize it was not worth it
- YOU WILL NEVER have a mutually loving relationship due to your POOR standards
- YOU WILL NEVER let go of the thought of going back if you do get involved with a joe
- YOU WILL NOT step down or settle (as they say) for a decent joe that will truly love you
- YOU WILL NOT give joe the same consideration, effort and respect you gave your abuser(s)
- YOU WILL sadly remain alone PRETENDING to be happy, SELFISHLY unsatisfied with joe or in an ABUSIVE, MISERABLE relationship (or series of relationships of YOUR choosing) with someone who DOESN'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOU.


YOU will FOREVER be your own worse enemy because of your ATTITUDE. Since you WILLINGLY choose those types I have to say YOU deserve whatever good or bad that comes out of it.


  1. Foolish Average JoeFebruary 9, 2010 at 1:04 PM

    Whoa! Now that's telling it like it is. I wish you had posted this about 4 months ago. A female friend of mine read this blog and immediately contacted me. I am one of those joe's that met this 43 year old, very attractive, divorced mother of 2 in October 2009. I mean this woman could compete with Halle Berry in the looks category. I felt that God had sent one of his angels to me. Little did I know that angel was an emotional and financial disaster. I should have known better when she initially started talking to me about the lavish lifestyle she had been living in her last relationship. Needless to say I was stupid and was doing more looking than listening. I fell for her beauty hook, line and sinker and was doing everything that I could to please her. She complained about her abusive relationship and that she had tolerated him for 12 years. By the way, none of those years did she hold down a job but was simply a kept woman having babies and living that upgraded lifestyle you spoke of.

    We would go to simple places to dine and she would always talk about the lavish places her ex would take her. Trust me, if any joe would hear her talk and had feelings for a woman like that it would literally crush him knowing that he could not compete. I tried to step up to the lifestyle she was accustomed to that she was not paying for and it stressed me financially. I was taking care of her and her children and she decided that she could not down-grade her lifestyle. Well, she's gone and I'm stuck with expenses while trying to please and keep her. I have learned my lesson and will read more of your blogs. Keep up the good work!

  2. The Ultimate PlayerFebruary 9, 2010 at 1:18 PM

    I feel sorry for foolish average joe. His problem is no game. I have a history of dealing with those types of women since my younger days as a youth. I am 35 years old, average looking, never married and have my share of those very attractive women. I would not even standout in a crowd if you saw me. My strength is game. I know what those very attractive women want and I make them believe they are going to get it. Those types of women have been severly spoiled to a point of addiction. I hear them speak negatively of the average joe even when I am dating them. They talk about the places they've gone to and things they have experienced all at some fools expense. I have no respect for those bitches and that's what they are. At least if they were ho's they would give those men what they want since those men are putting out the money. I've had some of those bitches boast about how well average guys treat them and they have no intention on giving them what they want. Their response is that they deserve to be treated special.

    To all you guys out there I will leave you with this. The more attractive they are the more you have to run game on them because if you don't you will surely end up like foolish average joe and they will come running to me afterwards.

  3. Ms Very Attractive and SatisfiedFebruary 9, 2010 at 2:10 PM

    Mr Ultimate Player you are just one poor excuse of a man. I would not give you the time of day. It's men like you that raise these women's expectations and then let them down with false promises. You are simply a cancer that corrupts the beauty of a relationship. If you ever have a daughter, she will pay for the things you are doing to these women.

    Mr J Duval I find your blog extremely insulting to women. I am 5'7", 175 lbs, long hair, light complexioned and consider myself to be very attractive and my husband feels the same way. Did you hear what I said? My husband and not some low life like the ultimate player. He pursued me for 2 years before I decided to allow him to propose to me. The problem is women settle for what they don't want in a mate and then regret it later.

  4. The Ultimate PlayerFebruary 9, 2010 at 2:38 PM

    Ms Very Attractive and Satisfied based upon your height and weight you are one of those mental very attractive women that Mr Duval spoke of. You confirmed it by saying you consider yourself to be very attractive. It's not for you to validate.

    I don't raise those women's expectations, they come with those expectations and I simply go with the flow until I'm ready to move on to the next one. Those women can choose to not have those unreasonable expectations from a man and simply choose the warmth of his company but they don't.

    Men like myself simply used those unfair and unreasonable expectations against them. If they don't bring it that way, they don't get used.

  5. Ms Found True LoveFebruary 9, 2010 at 3:33 PM

    This is a very interesting topic and one that is close to my heart. I am one of those 40+ very attractive females that grew tire of being in and out of relationships with men like the ultimate player. Yes, I did the choosing but I expected those men to treat me with dignity and respect in a manner that I had been accustomed to. It wasn't about money although all of the men were well established financially. I would have just as well been comfortable with one of your average joe's had they approached me but none of them did. What do you think a woman is supposed to do when a man makes such substantial offers to her? Even a not so attractive woman would give in to those offers.

    All of that drama is behind me now. I guess you can say that I have tranformed as a result of my experiences. I am in love and very satisfied with the mate that I have now which is just as attractive as I am. Yes, my mate is another woman and I have no plans on ever getting involved with a man again.

  6. It completely amuses me when females can wave that intelligent, strong and independent FLAG in the face of males they have NO PERSONAL interest in yet they will wave that victim or distress FLAG and claim to have been abused in relationships they willingly (not forcefully) entered into. Did I fail to mention abused for several years in some cases?

    Why don't they leave AFTER the first alleged domestic abuse incident? I will excuse those that are PHYSICALLY held against their will but don't apply that low self-esteem crap as the reason they did not leave. They have enough high self-esteem to reject the average joe and send him on his way so I don't buy the victim story. In my opinion, the majority of them are VICTIMS of their own POOR CHOICES in men and their POOR CHOICE to remain after the first alleged attack.

  7. jduval you are that little a-hole hiding inside of that big a-hole. you think you are an expert on what very attractive women are supposed to look like. i am big beautiful woman and get more than my share of men approaching me so what's your problem? don't you know that every woman is God's creation and beautiful in their own special way? you need to get a life and stop being so evil.

  8. Mr Duval, I was told about your blogsite by a male friend of mine. I consider myself to be an average looking hispanic woman that genuinely desires a loving relationship. I love the way you delivered this message. Those types of women cross all color lines. If a woman does not agree with this then she is inconsiderate and what you refer to as a skeezer. Me and my girlfriends simply call them lazy ass bitches. I will refer your site to all of my other friends.