Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I Have No Problem With Spending My Money To Have A Good Time

I received this email as well as several calls from this female that I was seeing off and on for about two months. You can provide comments in the comment box if you wish for others to see. Please don't email me your comments because others will not be able to read them. Thanks!

From: her name removed
Sent: Sunday, June 28, 2009 10:59:49 PM

Subject: I'm so happy to have found you

It's the end of the day and I was thinking about you, as usual. I called several times but was not able to reach you so I am sending you this email. I want you to know how much I sincerely love the times we've spent together. It means so much to me. It truly seems like I've known you forever and I honestly can't imagine life without you now. There will be no looking back, no second thoughts and no regrets. I want you and need only you ... and that love will only grow stronger. Do not be scared my love. Sometimes life hits you with unexpected things that take you totally by surprise. All I can say is you're the best surprise life has given me and your capacity for love, caring, and understanding never ceases to amaze me. I've truly been blessed by finding you and I'll never let you go even if I have to bring you back to my heart myself!

Your darling,

her name removed


I will NEVER get serious with a female if I have to pay and bear the effort and expenses of us being together. I will ENJOY what I have PAID FOR and will LEAVE that person whenever I am ready to move on.


If I HAVE TO PAY then it is not a GENUINE relationship, it's a BUSINESS TRANSACTION which I have no problem with as long as I am getting what I am expecting to receive. Once I get what I have PAID to receive, the transaction is over and I have the OPTION to perform another BUSINESS transaction (by bearing more expenses) if she is in agreement or I can move on to a more beneficial transaction for possibly less BUCKS elsewhere WITHOUT any feelings of GUILT.


I have enjoyed my time with her. I have WILLINGLY PAID for that time WITHOUT argument, disgust or hesitation so you skeezers out there can save the CHEAP comments, ok? Although she wants to get closer emotionally, I can't see myself getting involved with someone who has established themselves as a financial liability and a business transaction.

You may say it's COLD, I say it's REAL. If she DIDN'T want to be a financial liability she could have assisted in the expenses of those dates. By the way, she NEVER offered and I NEVER made a scene about it and accepted her taking the PAID FOR RIDE. She is quite capable of paying, she is STRONG and INDEPENDENT (oh yea, she said it to me) so there was no reason for her to NOT do so. Like females will say, "The FIRST impression is important". Well, we went out on four dates and all four dates ended up with the SAME impression.... Liability, Liability, Liability, Liability. I only continued because I CONTROLLED how much I would spend and where I would spend MY money. Now don't even go to the sex thing because you, not me, would be calling her a whore if you think sex in exchange for my expending funds is a fair exchange. So are those your thoughts? I think LIKE a female and not FOR a female and just like them it may be simply to stroke my EGO and has NOTHING to do with SEX and especially with all of those STDs going around out there.

I will TERMINATE this BUSINESS relationship on INDEPENDENCE DAY so that she can go and get herself someone she has a GENUINE interest in or get another series of BUSINESS transactions. By the way, I was smart enough to NOT do something STUPID like try to impress her by taking her to very expensive places. I kept it within an AFFORDABLE amount.


I said, on my blog page, I DON'T DATE and WILL NOT put forth any effort toward a personal interest in certain women. The situation above is one of those reasons why. I did not say that I don't conduct business transactions with them. Until I find that GENUINE woman, if these sell their time, I will CHOOSE which one of them I will pay to occupy their time. It's nothing personal, it's simply what they have established it to be which is a BUSINESS transaction (i.e., "If I want to spend the time, I will have to spend the money"). I could not see myself maintaing an extended business relationship with her or any of them. I have to be business smart and seek more enjoyment for less buck.

The economy is BAD now so I am sure that there are many BARGAINS available to me until I find someone that IS NOT a BUSINESS TRANSACTION.


  1. jduval i read your blog and i find you to be quite disgusting. you have led this woman on that obviously have fallen for you and now you are going to walkout on her. you are nothing but a dog in my opinion. you have gotten your pleasure so now it's time to move on to the next victim. god will surely punish you for taking advantage of one of his children.

  2. JDuval,
    without knowing all the details - i would say you must have said alot for her to fall n love after two months or you "rocked her world". it is very easy for a woman to fall in love especially after she had sex with the man. i am sure you saw her falling for you, hopefully you made it cleared to her the past two months that you were not interested. on 4th of july let her down easy and lesson learned, if you are only interested in a woman for sex, tell her you only want sex and you prefer to go dutch. tell her on the first meeting, do not waste her time or yours letting her fall in love and can not live without you...

  3. Dude, in light of the responses above, I don't care what you said to her, where you took her out or how hard you laid down that pipe, for her to write an email like that to you tells me that she had a pre-planned LOVE agenda before she even met you. This is way too much too soon. Nobody she be feeling that way afer four F#$%ng dates?!?!!? Come on. I know you and you are not the kind of guy to be telling a woman that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, especially during four F@@#ng dates. I will respectfully disagree with the female who commenting above to say that I think in reality this girl you dated is trying to take advantage of you. This is a show and she thinks you are nice looking, with a nice car and and nice crib. She wants in and is giving you a sales pitch. You are not bitting and now that you are not going to sign off it makes you a user? It ain't like you asked her to move in, knocked the bottom out of it for 2 years and now are kicking her out with no visible means of support. Dating is an agreed upon arragment between two people to test the waters and see if there is first visual stimulation and secondly strong chemistry. Often times it takes much more than 4 dates to determine if an intimate relationship should be struck up. I believe that we all wish this 4 date love woman the best of luck, however I would be willing to wager that she has used this approach before and might well be accustomed to getting dumped and will continue to behave this way because she wants to be in Love with someone before the end of the summer. get over it.

  4. ToniTee... The Rules of Engagement has changed for me and that is why I wrote the book that males should purchase, read and adopt to be successful nowadays because MOST females have changed the way they engage with males.

    FIRST POINT: YES I said a lot to her because females (especially in the beginning) like to blah, blah, blah and if you don't participate you are dismissed. What I DID NOT say is "I want to have a serious relationship with you", "I want to get married", "I don't want anyone else in my life but you". What I DID say is "I would like for us to spend some time together enjoying each other's company".

    SECOND POINT: To tell a female (on the first date) "I am only interested in sex or go dutch" would be SUICIDE for the male UNLESS she knew he was LOADED FINANCIALLY. The reason I disagree with that is because MOST females LIE and they would not tell the male (on the first date) "I will NOT have sex with you and I ONLY want you to take me out and spend YOUR money on me". UNTIL FEMALES begin to be honest I recommend males to think LIKE them (dishonesty, hidden agenda and deceit) instead of thinking FOR them (how to improve their lifestyle at the males' expense). Do I purposely LIE about some things? Hell yea because females LIE all the time through words or silence. I would NEVER lie telling a female "I want a serious relationship with HER". If I say it I will mean it but I don't need to lie like that to get in. That statement is reserved EXCLUSIVELY for the PLAYERS or FOOLS.

  5. JayDub, I agree with you. As an after thought, she is probably one of those that WERE NOT successful during "DeAr Hunting Season" (explained in my first book How to Identify and Avoid a No Good Skeezer) ao now she is attempting to hook up for the summer and not be alone for the upcoming "DeAr Hunting Season" (Oct 31 - Feb 14).

    Did I make fales promises? No. Did I lead her on? No. Did we enjoy our times together? Yes, speaking for myself and observation of her behavior. As far as I am concerned my priority continues to be "Productivity, Responsibility and Enjoyment" of my life. I do not expect a female to be "Productive and Responsible" for me or my lifestyle. I do expect her to "Enjoy" herself when she is with me AND if she is not enjoying herself she should move on to someone that she can enjoy. It's just that simple.

    I NO LONGER waste my time trying to PURSUE or CONVINCE any female to spend time with me. I VALUE ME too much for that.

  6. J,
    I hear you. yea females do lie. you men gotta do what you gotta do. i guest i am one of the ware females that prefer a man to give it to me straight. you men have to go through a lot of valleys, mountains, desert, and oceans to get the "honey". so if you have to lie to get it so be it. unfortunately because we females want to use their bodies as tools and dish it out when they think the man is in love with us 2 3 6 months later, we get hurt because all you men were after was a good conversation and some "honey". so who is the blame here? the women for lying for what she wants: love and to be taken care of or the man for lying because he want the "honey" and eventually love.

  7. Herschel..."The One"July 4, 2009 at 1:26 PM

    hey Jai,

    Herschel here...I understand your litmis test concerning "Spending time" and "enjoying each others company"...

    The young lady "played" herself and "showed" you what kind of person she really gave here ample opportunity to practice...reciprosity...but she didn't get it!

    It's sad but true...I'd like to know if the young lady was a "Black Woman" or not...because we as "Black Men" need to be teaching our "sisters" about the "The 7 Principles of Love and Dating"...

    In order for them to become successful in attracting the "Black Man" back to herself and help create a legacy of successful relationships in the "Black Community."


    Herschel..."The One"