Saturday, June 15, 2013

Are Single Mothers Damaged Goods?

Many males would IMMEDIATELY turn down a single mother and that is their right to do so based upon THEIR personal preference and single mothers SHOULD NOT be offended. After all, MANY single mothers turn down dudes WITH or WITHOUT children for their personal reasons.


This IS NOT a post to discuss why single mothers ended up as a single mother. 

This IS simply to take a close look at a single mother and respond BASED UPON the question, "are single mothers damaged goods"? 

I am going to comment SOLELY from the position of a single man with no children or no minor children living at home or living with someone else.


Someone asked me to post a brief explanation. When I get into something like this, I want to give my responses more detail. I suggest that if you are IMPATIENT that you simply STOP HERE and move on to one of my other posts OR someone else's post.


In some posts I usually want to begin with definitions to minimize assumptions and confusion by the readers. These are general definitions for the purpose of this post.

SINGLE MOTHER. A female with a minor child or children that is living with her.

DAMAGED. A person that has deteriorated in quality. A person that was expected to be in good (not brand new) condition but were discovered eventually that they weren't.

GOODS. Being a benefit to someone.

ASSET. A person that adds to a situation. Being able to meet debts, commitments or responsibilities.

LIABILITY. A person that subtracts from a situation. .

BURDEN. Bringing debt and responsibility to a situation expecting help.

PHYSICAL. The state of one's body deriving from a relationship with another such as health, sex, etc.

EMOTIONAL. The state of mind deriving from a relationship with another such as joy, anger, love, hate, etc.

FINANCIAL. The state of one's economic status deriving from a relationship with another such as debt, savings, required expenses, etc.


I believe, based upon the above definitions, anyone can be DAMAGED GOODS whether they are a single mother or not so that LABEL cannot apply ONLY to single mothers.


Since this is regarding single mothers, the remainder of this post will relate to single mothers only. The real question should be, "Are single mothers an asset or liability once they come into YOUR life"?

It does not matter how great, wonderful, religious, attractive or motivational a single mother is, says she is OR someone else claims she is. When it comes down to being in a relationship, the PRIMARY QUESTIONS should be how will that person IMPACT YOUR LIFE in the areas of:

1) Time. Will she have enough quality time available for you AND her children?

2) Emotional. Will she maintain the peace or provide stress to your mental state?

3) Physical. Will your emotional state improve or deteriorate? Will she willingly be cooperative and satisfy your sexual needs?

4) Financial. Will she add to or subtract from the financial state of the relationship? Are you going to be responsible for total or partial support and entertainment of HER and/or HER child or children?


Whether the AVERAGE single mother wants to admit it OR he wants to believe it, MOST WILL immediately or eventually expect the man to FINANCIALLY contribute to the support and entertainment of HER and/or HER children.


The ideal, which is the EXTREMELY RARE exception, is a single mother that is financially and emotionally STABLE with 1 well-disciplined child. She and the father SHARES the time and responsibility of parenting and SHARES the financial support of THEIR child so she is simply looking for a responsible man for companionship that can assist in providing GUIDANCE (not financially support) for her child. This type of mother would be considered an ASSET.


The average is a single mother that is financially and emotionally STRESSED with at least 2 children. She wants a responsible man for companionship AND that will assist in providing financial support for her AND her children. This type of mother would be considered a LIABILITY or BURDEN.


Regardless of what SHE thinks of herself, based upon LOGICAL (not emotional) thinking using a scale from 0 - 10 (10 being the highest), I would rate single mothers as follows:

1. Average Single Mother: +4 (at best and as her number of children increase, her rating would decrease which could end up being a negative number). 

2. Ideal Single Mother: +7.8 (at best which is a damn good score considering her situation. many females WITHOUT children WON'T score that good).


AVOID relationships with single mothers who's child is 7 years old or younger.  In most cases, there is a STRONG, EMOTIONAL desire for the mothers to want that family unit to be together.

NEVER ADOPT a single mother's child or children.  If you want to assist in providing GUIDANCE, you don't need to be LEGALLY OBLIGATED to so such.  More importantly, IF the two of you break up AFTER you have adopted YOU PROBABLY WILL be paying child support since you are NOW the legal (not biological) guardian.


MOST single mothers need to simply spend MOST of their time RAISING their child or children so that hopefully IF she has girls THEY WON'T end up in the same situation as she OR if she has boys THEY WON'T do something STUPID and cause a female to end up in the same position as she.

Class is dismissed.

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