Why Women Need Men Who Challenge Them

I was asked by a friend of Facebook what do I think about Michael Baisden's commentary:  "Why Women Need Men Who Challenge Them" and so I responded and also copied it here for all of you to read and comment if you wish to do so.

 

Before I begin, I will say that I will reply based upon the photo which "appears to be" a black couple. These comments DO NOT REFER TO all "african-american" black females but certainly a great many that I have had experience with and have heard comments about.

[HIS COMMENT]

It’s easy to become defensive when you hear the word “Challenge.” Too often it’s associated with going into battle or drama. But to be challenged also means to be stimulated intellectually or to invite someone to do better. Unfortunately not many women meet men who challenge them in that way.

[MY RESPONSE]

There are MANY males that can INTELLECTUALLY stimulate or ENCOURAGE (don't like the word invite being applied here) them to do better. The problem is HER DEFENSE shield that is CONSTANTLY raised UNLESS the male is a "known" celebrity or financially well-to-do type or some pretty boy (which is NOT the majority of us). Secondly, most (generally speaking) of that so-called stimulating conversation is more about foolish rhetoric or complaints rather than intellectual or self-improvement exchanges and ONLY is done INITIALLY if he takes her to dinner which SHE EXPECTS him to pay for.

[HIS COMMENT]

For the past three decades women have been making huge strides financially and educationally. They read more than men, they graduate at a higher rate, they start more businesses, they travel more, and they purchase more homes. With so many advantages it makes you wonder, what do women need men for? The honest answer is, they don’t!

[MY RESPONSE]

With ALL OF THEIR GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENTS you still 1) can't get MOST of them to INITIATE (go to the man and introduce herself and state SHE has an interest in getting to know him) or 2) PAY THEIR OWN WAY when in the company of a man. That simply tells me those two items are something they WILLINGLY CHOOSE to NOT DO since they are spoken of in such a HIGHLY intellectual manner and COMPLETE disrespect for and de-value of the man.

[HIS COMMENT]

I believe a man’s true value is not in being needed. In today’s society men should be more focused on being respected. But how can we as men demand respect when we aren't bringing anything unique to the table? Most mature women are financially stable; they have book sense, and hold down the household as single parents. Although a man’s help would be appreciated, for most established women, money and help with the kids is not a “NEED!”

[MY RESPONSE]

(1) "Aren't bringing anything to the table"? (Response) The ONLY men that aren't bringing anything to the table are HOMELESS men. Let's be more clear, "aren't bringing anything to the table that SHE EXPECTS to see as COMPARED to what SHE HAS" as opposed to what he brings that can STILL contribute to the relationship.

(2) "Most mature women are financially stable"? (Response) Yea, but MOST mature women that are financially stable STILL DOES NOT PAY HER OWN WAY when in the company of a man. As far as HER bringing something to the table? She may "bring" something to the table but VERY, VERY few of them LEAVE it on the table to be used to maintain THE RELATIONSHIP. It's placed on the table to simply FLAUNT IT in a man's face.

[HIS COMMENT]

What mature and intelligent women long for is stimulating conversation with a real man who leads by example. As a young man I was told, “Nothing turns a woman on more than watching a man handle his business.”

[MY RESPONSE]

"Stimulating conversation" and "Handling his business" has no apparent relationship in that statement unless his business is a professional "debater, talk show host or something similar" so what sense does the statement make WITHOUT clarity since he is speaking of INTELLIGENT conversation.

[HIS COMMENT]

But just as a team is only as strong as it’s weakest link, a woman’s development is arrested when she’s not partnered with a man who offers the perspective of a strong man who she respects.

[MY RESPONSE]

VERY, VERY FEW (except for myself and others) will talk about the POOR CHOICES she makes which CAUSES her development to be ARRESTED because it's a SIN to talk about that and you would be labeled as a WOMAN HATER. 

I am just about tired of hearing this "strong" phrase when associated with a "black person". We need to start applying BEHAVIORAL descriptions and stop with this VAUGE "strong black man or strong black woman" and let's NOT CONFUSE "being strong" with "being responsible".

Too many times black women (especially) are considered STRONG for doing things that they are RESPONSIBLE for (i.e., raising THEIR child or children) or black male because he.... "you know what, those things that a man is EXPECTED to be RESPONSIBLE for without the credential of "strong" being applied are the same things a woman SHOULD BE responsible for yet when she does is she is considered to be STRONG (gimme a break, ok?)

[HIS COMMENT]

My responsibility is to be that man to the women in my life and to the women whose lives I touch through my books, seminars, and radio program. I offer my perspective on relationships, business, social activism, living your dream, etc. It’s not about being right it’s about challenging women to see the world through the eyes…and mind...of a man.

[MY RESPONSE]

Why don't we simply CHALLENGE both of them to see the world throught the eyes of PERSONAL responsibility and accountability? That way, it does not matter whether it's a man or woman because TRUE responsibility and accountability DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE and GOES BOTH WAYS.

[HIS COMMENT]

The challenge for us men is to gain more knowledge and insight through reading, traveling, and listening, to broaden our perspective so that intelligent women respect our point of view enough to listen to what we have to say.

[MY RESPONSE]

INTELLIGENT women (the key word here is "intelligent") will respect our point of view AS LONG AS it makes sense regardless of how BROAD or LIMITED our knowledge and insight is. By the way, I have know of MANY intelligent women who have SELECTED STUPID, DISRESPECTFUL and DEPENDENT men to be in a relationship with. What NOW does that say about their level of INTELLIGENCE?

[HIS COMMENT]

To put it frankly, a woman can use a sex toy to give herself an orgasm but they’ll never create a device that can stimulate a woman’s mind like engaging in a conversation with a man of depth and intelligence.

[MY RESPONSE]

Interesting because I've known of SEVERAL women and heard about even more that have THROW AWAY their sex toys AND their lives for a BAD BOY who NOT ONLY gives her that "Oh My God" orgasm but will ALSO hug and talk to her afterwards. Now how many sex toys do you know that can "hug and talk" to her AFTER she's had HER ORGASM?

[CONCLUSION]

It's so sad and amusing to me that "black" (since that's the direction Michael is going) females are so QUICK to talk that "bringing something to the table NONSENSE" when they "have" or "think they have" something they can FLAUNT in a man's face. Otherwise, the ONLY thing that goes on the table is SEX to be used to BARTER and/or MANIPULATE with.

She asked what I think? Well, there you have it.